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laugh and get laid 3/28/2017
back in the day it used to be the humor of a guy that got him
laid now its like ooooo i need a mature feller eating my puss
lolol whats yas take on that
1 Comments, 14 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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Never ate one myself 3/28/2017
When does a cub scout become a boy scout? When he eats his
first brownie. Yucky, boo boo.
1 Comments, 13 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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Dirty 3/28/2017
So there's a who thinks he's funny actually
hilarious makes the common to mama jokes and bullies with
jokes to his whole family. Well one day his mama challenges
him to a contest so she says you tell your best to mama joke
and I'm going to tell one and we see who's is the
best. The is puzzled so you want me too tell a joke about
big mama? His mom replies just tell the joke the agrees
but with ...
3 Comments, 88 Views,
9 Votes
,3.64 Score
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Midgets 3/22/2017
When is it acceptable to kick a midget in the balls? When
he tells you that your wife's hair smells good!
2 Comments, 20 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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Corporate translations 3/22/2017
Corporate translations --> Competitive salary: We
remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
Join our fast – paced company : We have no time to train
you and you will have to introduce yourself to your co - workers.
Seeking enthusiastic, fun, hard working people: who still
live with their parents and will not mind our internship
– level salaries. Casual work atmosphere: We do not ...
3 Comments, 53 Views,
9 Votes
,5.14 Score
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Why men wear earrings 3/21/2017
Did you ever wonder why earrings became so popular with
men?
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker
is wearing an earring.
The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative
fellow and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion
sense".
The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a ...
2 Comments, 100 Views,
13 Votes
,5.83 Score
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G-spot and a golf ball 3/21/2017
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
1 Comments, 11 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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Three Golfers 3/21/2017
Three golfing partners died in a car wreck and went to heaven.
Upon arrival they discover the most beautiful golf course
they have ever seen. St. Peter tells them that they are all
welcome to play the course, but he cautions them that there
is only one rule:
"Don't hit the ducks during your first three
months here."
The men all have blank expressions, and finally one of them ...
7 Comments, 142 Views,
20 Votes
,5.81 Score
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Hurricanes 3/21/2017
Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go
they take your house and car with them
5 Comments, 30 Views,
10 Votes
,4.38 Score
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redneck vacation 3/21/2017
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy
Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout
ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it
a little different. The last few years, I took your advice
about where to go. THREE YEARS AGO, YOU SAID TO GO TO HAWAII. I WENT TO HAWAII
AND EARLENE GOT PREGNANT. THEN TWO YEARS AGO, YOU TOLD ME TO GO TO THE BAHAMAS, AND EARLENE
GOT ...
5 Comments, 102 Views,
11 Votes
,5.04 Score
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Funny 3/21/2017
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re
nuts.
2 Comments, 12 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score
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old men 3/21/2017
what is the difference between a sexy senior citizen and
a dirty old man?
There is none
2 Comments, 27 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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Circus 3/21/2017
Did you hear about the circus orgy? It was fucking in tents!
1 Comments, 6 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
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Golf 3/21/2017
Two doctors were putting on the ninth green when one collapsed from a heart attack. "Help me, " he groaned to his companion. "Sorry, my malpractice insurance won't cover
it, " his partner replied, walking off the green,
"but I'll get help." A few minutes later, he returned, picked up his club and began lining up hit putt. The man on the ground raised his head and screamed in Disbelief, "I'm dying ...
4 Comments, 129 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score
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Who's the thief?? 3/21/2017
A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give
me your money."
The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You
cannot do this, I'm a United States Congressman!"
The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"
3 Comments, 66 Views,
17 Votes
,5.39 Score
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Blonde 3/21/2017
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.
1 Comments, 8 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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Blonde 3/21/2017
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their
bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500.
The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market
and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I
will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and
finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes
to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs ...
1 Comments, 55 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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and another Blondie joke 3/20/2017
Two blonds standing naked in front of a mirror checking
each other out...the one suddenly says - Hey - you ve got
black hair down there...the other responds with a smile
- You think I am stupid everywhere?....
0 Comments, 47 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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men 3/19/2017
After the marriage the bride put a box next to her bed and
told her husband never to open and check, what’s inside
of it. 40 years passed and the husband impatiently opened
the box and found there 3 empty bottles of beer and 14000$.
In the evening during the dinner he tells his wife: - Darling, I have to admit, I opened the box. Would you explain
why there are 3 bottles? - You see, whenever I ...
1 Comments, 92 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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permanent erection 3/17/2017
A man walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was
the pharmacist and as she and her also single sister owned
the store, there were no males employed there. The woman pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional
and whatever it was that he needed to discuss. The man agreed
and began by saying, "This is tough for me ...
2 Comments, 82 Views,
8 Votes
,3.71 Score
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A Blonde and Snow 3/17/2017
One winter morning in Syracuse a husband and his blonde
wife were listening to the radio during breakfast. They
heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to
10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered
side of the street, so the snowplows can get through...
So the good wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, ...
2 Comments, 111 Views,
13 Votes
,6.16 Score
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A DEA Officer... 3/17/2017
..stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher.
He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch
for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher says, "Okay, but do not go in that field
over there, " as he points out the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister,
I have the authority of the Federal Government with me."
Reaching into his rear pants ...
2 Comments, 100 Views,
9 Votes
,5.14 Score
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on the edge 3/17/2017
A guy is hiking up a mountain when he sees a girl standing
at the edge of a cliff, crying. "Hey, " he says,
"if you're going to jump, how about giving me
a blow job before you do it?" "My life's
been nothing but crap, " says the girl. "So
I might as well." After the girl's done, the guy
says, "Wow, that was great! Why are you so depressed,
anyway?" The girl replies, "My family disowned
me for ...
4 Comments, 81 Views,
9 Votes
,4.71 Score
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Dogs and Puppies 3/17/2017
A little boy and his mother are at the airport going to see
his grandmother. The little boy is looking out the window
and turns to his mom and says " mommy is cows have calves
and dogs have puppies how come planes dont that little planes"
His mother says " I dont know, you will have to ask the
stewardess when we get to our seats".
They board the plane and get to their seats and the ...
3 Comments, 164 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score
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Just Like Frank 3/17/2017
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going
by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect
timing. You're just like Frank."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything
right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed
a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every
single time."
Passenger: "There are ...
3 Comments, 115 Views,
13 Votes
,4.65 Score
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Little Johnny....again 3/17/2017
A teacher asks the class to name things that end with 'tor'
that eat things.
The first little boy says, "Alligator."
"Very good, that's a big word."
The second boy says, "Predator."
"Yes, that's another big word. Well done.”
Little Johnny says, "Vibrator"
After nearly falling off her chair, she says, "That
is a big word, but it doesn't eat ...
4 Comments, 131 Views,
14 Votes
,4.74 Score
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Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? 3/17/2017
Because his pecker is on his head
2 Comments, 7 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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CHICAGO 3/12/2017
I was in Macon Ga. the other day. I saw a bumper sticker on
a parked car that read:
"I miss Chicago ."
So I broke the window, stole the radio, shot out two of the
tires, added an Obama bumper sticker and left a note that
read, "I hope this helps.”
1 Comments, 63 Views,
18 Votes
,5.58 Score
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Orgasm Problem 3/11/2017
Woman goes to her doctor...And says “Doctor, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm!” .
Doctor says...“Are you doing anything for it?” “
Yea Snorting pepper.”
1 Comments, 54 Views,
12 Votes
,3.86 Score
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Be careful with this one 3/10/2017
Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband:
"ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that
mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute,
delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife:
"Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband:
... "I'm just kidding!"
1 Comments, 59 Views,
17 Votes
,5.81 Score
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