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Good loving, southern style... 1/19/2005 Down here in the South, we look upon family reunions as pick-up bars. Usually our rule of thumb is anything more than a first cousin is fair game. First cousins are fair game if you haven't seen th 0 Comments, 269 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Define first dates... 1/19/2005 I've been stalking this woman for about three months. I've watched her dress, bath and fuck secretly almost everyday (except Christmas and Arbor Day). But now that her boyfriend had that unfortunat 0 Comments, 500 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Love is for the weak of heart.... 1/19/2005 I know that it is cynical. I know that it is cold. I know that I can't keep saying 'I know'. Love is so undefinable. Love is like trying to describe colors to a blind man, or compassion to a Republ 0 Comments, 47 Views, 0 Votes | |
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I'm thinking with the right head.... 1/19/2005 Too many of our dives into relationships are navigated by the wrong heads. One night of uncontrolled passion and spanking, might convince you that this is the woman of your dreams (at least, your w 0 Comments, 80 Views, 0 Votes | |
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the best way...the Army Way...The Amway... 1/19/2005 Is there a fool-proof way to get some of these damn women to notice you? I'm thinking that for some of these women, they would be more impressed with a picture of your wallet or portfolio, rather t 0 Comments, 367 Views, 0 Votes | |
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The Mammaries of You.... 1/19/2005 I see you now in my dreams... Floppy Loose... I see you running away from me.. Screaming... Scared... Your breast, once so beautiful Saggy.. Soft.. Flap in the wind like memories.. 0 Comments, 29 Views, 0 Votes | |
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The day my pump exploded.... 1/18/2005 The single most embarrassing moment of my life, other than that arrest at the junior high school playground, was the day my penis pump exploded. Through the magic of science I had finally gained th 0 Comments, 196 Views, 0 Votes | |
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there's no room for fun here... 1/18/2005 What is that sound? Is it laughter? Joy? What the fuck are you thinking? We are in a relationshiop. Do you understand that? A relationship!!! There is no room for humor or joy or laughter here. Thi 0 Comments, 119 Views, 0 Votes | |
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American Idol... 1/18/2005 God Bless American Idol. It shows me that I am not the single most pitiful human being on the planet after all. There are a ton of losers out there...more desperate and more delusional than me. Yea 0 Comments, 37 Views, 0 Votes | |
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SAT II of Love.... 1/18/2005 Answer the following questions: <br> 1)Pussy is to Cock, as George W. Bush is to...... 2)Jacking Off is to World Peace, as George W. Bush is to..... 3)Chronic, painful Hemmorhoids are t 0 Comments, 218 Views, 0 Votes | |
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don't sweat the small stuff.... 1/18/2005 "Don't sweat the small stuff, " she said. "Leave my cock out of this, " I screamed. "I wish that I could leave your cock out of this, " she shouted, pointing at her pussy. "O my god, " I in 0 Comments, 35 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Things I Love....... 1/18/2005 These are the things I love... 1) Yugoslavian Love Beads.. 2) Little Puppies that can't tell.... 3) Dancing in the dark, okay..sex! 4) Dancing with myself..okay...masturbation!! 5) Dancing w 0 Comments, 23 Views, 0 Votes | |
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marketing... 1/18/2005 It's hard to take a poem seriously, when there is a picture of a woman's ass right next to it. Something terribly, terribly wrong about that. Whitman would not have approved. 0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes | |
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don't know why???? 1/18/2005 I don't know why this topic draws me more than the others. Maybe I've had more experience. Or maybe I'm just attracted to the primal smell of melodrama that precedes every break-up. There is someth 0 Comments, 61 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Out by a mile.... 1/18/2005 I once slid feet first into a pussy. A perfect hook slide, I thought. Just missing that tag. Oh yeah, I was crowing. Safe at Sex. But then that blind motherfucking umpire called me out. I jumped up 0 Comments, 310 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Jesus and Mary.... 1/18/2005 So Jesus looked down at the writhing form of Mary Magdalene and He felt his Holy Cock shiver and grow. "Myself", He said, as He watched Mary service herself with her fingers. Jesus had seen a pussy 0 Comments, 498 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Why German women are so sexy..... 1/18/2005 When you've come close to conquering the world, or at least a goodly part of Europe, twice it adds a little spring to your step and a little sexiness to your complexion. World domination, or at lea 0 Comments, 41 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Stop the madness..... 1/18/2005 This disturbing news item just in....Republicans are actually having sex and are...gasp, puke...reproducing. This cannot be allowed to happen. These toady little sons of bitches cannot be allowed t 0 Comments, 347 Views, 0 Votes | |
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the sweet smell of cordite.... 1/18/2005 So she's asked you over and over again: "leave me the fuck alone, you slime sucking pig." You laughed at the way her eyes crinkled up when she screamed at you from the moving car. So fucking cute. 0 Comments, 151 Views, 0 Votes | |
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The first time... 1/18/2005 I wonder how the first anal intercourse (butt fucking for you in Mississippi) came about. What guy, sitting around in the cave, thought to himself, "You know, Drog's pussy is sure enough fine..but 0 Comments, 249 Views, 0 Votes | |
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who the.... 1/18/2005 Who gives a fuck what your fucking workout schedule is? Nobody cares that you can bench press your own ego 20 times. You are not impressing anyone, at least anyone of substance. The only we care ab 0 Comments, 142 Views, 0 Votes | |
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SAT of Love..... 1/18/2005 Please answer the following questions: <br> (True or False) 1) Restraining Orders are only suggestions? 2) "You goddamn motherfucking of a bitch" can be a term of endearment? 3) Fa 0 Comments, 111 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Joining a group.... 1/18/2005 There is no better way to meet the neighbors than group sex. (Of course Southern women can't really do group sex. Too many thank you notes!). But there are some ground rules about groups that I thi 0 Comments, 115 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Wail and scream when cornered.... 1/18/2005 So your girl caught you in the big one. You told her that you were at church, while you were really at the strip club for LapDancing for Tsunami Relief night. She finally realized that that stain o 0 Comments, 84 Views, 0 Votes | |
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a humbling experience.... 1/18/2005 So I dated this girl I met on-line. Well imagine her disappointment when I showed up, instead of the guy in my profile. No rippling muscles, no flowing hair (except on my back)and no monster 15 inc 0 Comments, 298 Views, 0 Votes | |
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What makes a man.... 1/18/2005 There comes time in the life of every man (usually with the third tequila)when he has to ask the tough questions and look for the elusive answers. Questions like: Can God create a rock that is too 0 Comments, 55 Views, 0 Votes | |
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Let me pump you up..... 1/17/2005 No it's not about that. You perv....it's about the ancient Swedish tradition of putting a bicycle pump in your ass and inflating yourself. This started soon after WWI, when a great blanket of bored 0 Comments, 107 Views, 0 Votes | |
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advice for the lovelorn... 1/17/2005 What exactly is a lovelorn? Is it the opposite of a hatelorn? (I think that I was married to one of those hatelorns one time). And if you are lorn, is there a cure? I mean is there lorn lotion, or 0 Comments, 48 Views, 0 Votes | |
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I just can't understand.. 1/17/2005 I'm a very intelligent professional man. Okay that's out of the way. But with all of my intelligence and all of my professionalism I still can't understand how some people can put their whole freak 0 Comments, 43 Views, 0 Votes | |
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don't try this at home... 1/17/2005 The other night this filthy crack and I were getting down, when I thought that I ought to use some protection. (I think that it was the smell that gave it away). But I didn't have a condom and she 0 Comments, 689 Views, 0 Votes |
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