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imsohorny19822 33 F
31  Articles
The Dwarf Incident   10/8/2007

I ran up the back of a car this morning...

I tell you, I just knew it was going to be a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said, "I am NOT Happy!"

So I said, "Well, which fucking one ARE you then?"

And that's when the fight started.


2 Comments, 146 Views, 13 Votes ,2.30 Score
imsohorny19822 33 F
31  Articles
A Fairy Tale   10/8/2007

One day, long, long ago, there was this woman who surprisingly,

did not whine, nag, and bitch........







But this was a long time ago.....







and it was just ONE day.



The End


1 Comments, 93 Views, 8 Votes ,1.62 Score
imsohorny19822 33 F
31  Articles
Pavarotti   10/8/2007

Pavarotti knocks on the pearly gates

St Peter opens them and says ' Oh it's you Luciano, come on in. Squeeze through'.

Pavarotti says ' Hold on, I've got an envelope for you, from the Pope.'

St Peter opens it up and reads it.

'HERE'S THAT TENOR I OWE YOU'


1 Comments, 93 Views, 10 Votes ,1.79 Score
imsohorny19822 33 F
31  Articles
An old man, a boy & a donkey   10/8/2007

An old man, a boy & a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey & the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding.

The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Then, later, they passed some people who remarked, "What a shame, he makes that ...


1 Comments, 109 Views, 9 Votes ,3.00 Score
imsohorny19822 33 F
31  Articles
No arms or legs.   10/8/2007

A man was lying on a blanket at the beach He had no arms or legs. Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The first woman said "Have you ever had a hug"

The man said "No", So she gave him a hug and walked on.

The second woman said "Have you ever had a kiss".

The man said "No", So she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The third ...


1 Comments, 108 Views, 10 Votes ,3.39 Score
imsohorny19822 33 F
31  Articles
Lawyers lol   10/8/2007

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts of America, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters, that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.



ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. --------------------------------------------- ...


2 Comments, 91 Views, 8 Votes ,3.25 Score
imsohorny19822 33 F
31  Articles
Health Questions and Answers lol   10/8/2007

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.



Q: Should I cut ...


1 Comments, 42 Views, 4 Votes ,2.47 Score
imsohorny19822 33 F
31  Articles
Globalization   10/8/2007

INTERNATIONAL THINKING AT ITS BEST !

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization? Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come? Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine. The car is driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the ...


1 Comments, 48 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
imsohorny19822 33 F
31  Articles
Smart Woman   10/8/2007

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real misery when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she ...


1 Comments, 112 Views, 6 Votes ,4.79 Score
justnumbers 51 M
15  Articles
Aliens have landed   10/8/2007

Two aliens landed in the New Mexico desert near a gas station that had been closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger of the two aliens addressed it.



"Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." The gas pump (of course) didn't respond. The younger alien started to get cross and the older one said, "I wouldn't get mad if I ...


2 Comments, 103 Views, 8 Votes ,3.25 Score
rm_xilix31 51 M
1  Article
SEX AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT   10/7/2007

The Joy of Sexual Physics With Dr. Larry "Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics"

..> SEX AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT ________________________________________

Q Dr. Larry, My boyfriend, Rod, is an adventurous physics student always looking for new ways to improve our sex life. ...


1 Comments, 76 Views, 5 Votes ,1.84 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
When   10/7/2007

Judge asked , "So when did you realize you were ?"

replied, wiping her tears, "When the check bounced."


3 Comments, 132 Views, 6 Votes ,2.80 Score
my credit card does not exist, so....   10/6/2007

how many points do I get for this?


3 Comments, 68 Views, 7 Votes
bamaguy37 57 M
9  Articles
the whole finger ??   10/6/2007

A guy calls his wife.Honey Im at the hospital! I cut off my finger. She asked the whole finger?? He says no but it was the one next to it.


2 Comments, 146 Views, 5 Votes ,2.16 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Upset Golfer   10/6/2007

A rather upset gentleman is in a competitive golf match with a friend who is ahead by a couple of strokes. "Boy! I'd give anything to sink this putt, " the golfer mumbles to himself.

Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "Would you be willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?"

Thinking that the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer ...


1 Comments, 66 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
letsplay2day86 37 M
1  Article
camping trip   10/6/2007

Three couples go on a camping trip together . wen it comes time for bed the men sleep in one tent and the women sleep in another.

in the middle of the night one man wakes up with a hard-on and looks at the man next to him who is also awake , he says to the man " i gotta go fuck my wife "

the man reply's " why is that "

the first man says " i got this hard on that wont ...


1 Comments, 236 Views, 7 Votes ,4.06 Score
female prayer   10/4/2007

As he lays me down 2 hit, i pray his dick aint small as shit &if his dick aint long & thick, ipray he's good atlickin clit. Amen?


1 Comments, 126 Views, 6 Votes ,3.08 Score
SirDashing 34 M
12  Articles
Old age & treachery will overcome youth & skill...   10/3/2007

To the Officers who work hard every day, This story was intended in Good Humor, It was not intended to offend any of the Officers out there who may read this...

As An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: 'Is there a problem, Officer?' Officer: 'Ma'am, you were speeding.'

Older Woman: 'Oh, I see.' Officer: 'Can I see your license, please?'

...


0 Comments, 84 Views, 9 Votes ,2.36 Score
SirDashing 34 M
12  Articles
Math thru the years...   10/3/2007

Fifty Years of Math 1957 - 2007

Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she ...


1 Comments, 84 Views, 11 Votes ,2.23 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Five bucks a hole   10/3/2007

A fellow was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second

golfer approached and asked if he could join him.

The first golfer said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the

two-some. They were even after the first two holes.

The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing

for five bucks a hole?"

The first ...


1 Comments, 76 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
size does matter   10/1/2007

A young woman walks into the drugstore and ask the pharmacist if he sells extra large condoms.....he replies, " yes we do would you like to buy some?" she says " no but do you mind if I wait around here untill someone does '


2 Comments, 98 Views, 7 Votes ,3.04 Score
what we do for love !!!   10/1/2007

One eveing a husband comes home to his apartment very roughed up. " when his wife sees him she ask, "what happen to you" 'I got into a fight with the apartment manager" " what ever for?" " he said he had slept with every woman in the complex....except one " the wife replies " I bet it's that stuck up mrs franklin on the 3rd flr "


0 Comments, 68 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
rm_kaza254 45 F
0  Articles
Nun and Skinhead   10/1/2007

A nun gets on a train, skinhead in front of her eating a bag of prawns, he starts spitting the heads at her and she throws them out the window and then pulls the emergency cord. Skinhead says "you'll get fined $50 for that you stupid s**t". Nun replies " when I cry and they smell ur fingers you'll get 10yrs u c**t!.


2 Comments, 109 Views, 5 Votes ,3.80 Score
justnumbers 51 M
15  Articles
Iris dad   10/1/2007

The Irish had not been to the house for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cussed her; " Where have you been all this time, you ingrate! Why didn't you write us, not even a line to let us know how you were doing? Why didn't you call? You little ! Don't you know what you put your Mum through??!!"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a ..."

"WHAT !!? ...


0 Comments, 230 Views, 6 Votes ,3.65 Score
justnumbers 51 M
15  Articles
Teddy Bear   10/1/2007

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his apartment and she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.

...


0 Comments, 71 Views, 7 Votes ,3.04 Score
West Virginia Department of Highways   10/1/2007

A West Virginia Department of Highways employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road."





The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field." The Highways employee said, "I have the authority of the State of West Virginia to go where I want. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I ...


0 Comments, 78 Views, 5 Votes ,3.80 Score
sticksey1964 52 M
18  Articles
The Scotsman .   10/1/2007

A Scotsman phones a dentist to enquire about the cost for a tooth extraction.

"£85 for an extraction, sir"

"£85? the man replies. Huv ye no'got anythin' cheaper?"

"That's the normal charge, " replies the dentist.

"Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anaesthetic?"

"That's unusual, sir, but I could do it and knock £15 off."

"Whit aboot if ye used ...


0 Comments, 53 Views, 3 Votes ,1.96 Score
JustmABwhatUneed 50 M
1  Article
Cinderella   9/30/2007

What did Cinderella say when she finally reached the Ball??? ANSWER----- ( make a sound as if gagging on a cock)


1 Comments, 65 Views, 4 Votes ,2.86 Score
pinmsa2 51 C
98  Articles
Legs Behind Your Head   9/30/2007

Two women were talking about their lives since they had become Nursing home residents.

They both agreed that life was good but one woman, Ethel, said she was rather upset because her sex life had really died out since she and her Husband had come to the nursing home.

The other woman said that her sex life was great!

"The secret to great sex is this, " the woman told ...


2 Comments, 133 Views, 8 Votes ,3.01 Score
pinmsa2 51 C
98  Articles
Ship to Europe   9/30/2007

A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said, "Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." ...


1 Comments, 81 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
pinmsa2 51 C
98  Articles
Confession   9/30/2007

In a small cathedral, a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the priest.

The priest asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on and on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done, just give ...


2 Comments, 105 Views, 4 Votes ,3.63 Score
pinmsa2 51 C
98  Articles
Sleep & Sex!!!!!   9/30/2007

Top 10 Reasons Why SLEEP Is Better Than SEX!

10. You don't feel guilty about doing it alone.

9. No one ever starts rumors about how much you sleep.

8. You don't feel like a total loser if you didn't get any.

7. You don't have to pay for sleep.

6. You don't need to sleep after sleeping.

5. You can sleep for eight hours straight.

4. You ...


2 Comments, 67 Views, 4 Votes ,3.63 Score
pinmsa2 51 C
98  Articles
Sex Contest At Local Gas Station   9/30/2007

Two guys drove to a gas station for a fill-up because they heard about a contest being offered by the station to patrons who purchase a full tank of gas. When they went inside to pay, the men asked the attendant about the contest.

"If you win, you're entitled to free sex, " said the attendant.

"How do we enter?" asked the men.

"Well, I'm thinking of a number between ...


1 Comments, 98 Views, 4 Votes ,4.41 Score
pinmsa2 51 C
98  Articles
Best    9/30/2007

Four men got together to play golf one sunny morning. As they were heading out to the course, one of them was detained by a phone call.

The other three were discussing their while walking to the first tee.

"My , " said one proudly, "has made quite a name for himself in the home building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's ...


1 Comments, 155 Views, 8 Votes ,4.87 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Custody   9/30/2007

GETTING CUSTODY WIFE, and Pepsi Cola

A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the custody of their posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the into this world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody of his , so the judge asked for his side of the story.

After a long ...


1 Comments, 74 Views, 4 Votes ,4.80 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Waiting   9/30/2007

>A foursome of guys is waiting at the men's tee while another foursome of >women are hitting from the ladies' tees. The ladies are taking their >time. > >When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it ten feet. She >goes over and whiffs it completely. Then she hacks it another ten feet, >and finally hacks it another five feet. > >? She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says ...


1 Comments, 70 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
bigschlong1964 59 M
2  Articles
soul singer   9/29/2007

how do you turn a duck into a soul singer. put him into the microwave till his bill withers


1 Comments, 58 Views, 5 Votes ,1.84 Score
bigschlong1964 59 M
2  Articles
blondes again   9/29/2007

two blonde's walk into a building you'd think one of them would see it


2 Comments, 105 Views, 7 Votes ,3.80 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Info Overload   9/29/2007

The History of the Middle Finger

Well, now......here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to ...


1 Comments, 47 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
HANDSUM_PLAYBOY 37 M
18  Articles
Cunt Or.......   9/28/2007

What’s hairy on the outside and moist inside, begins with a 'C' ends with a 'T' and has U' and 'N' in the middle? Answer: 'COCUNUT'...


1 Comments, 86 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
Problem with name   9/27/2007

Girl 1: I can't believe a sweater could cause problems in my relationship with John. Girl 2: Why? Did you loose his sweaater? Was it expensive? Girl 1: No. Two days ago I went to his apartment but he wasn't there. The weather was very cold. So I grabbed a sweater from his bedroom to wear. I returned it the next day but found there was a name on it. Girl 2: Oh, I see. The sweater wasn't his ...


1 Comments, 74 Views, 4 Votes ,2.47 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
Before and after marriage   9/27/2007

Before marriage Man: Yes! It's finally the time. I can't wait. Woman: Are you going to break up with me? Man: Absolutely not! Don't even think about it. Woman: Do you still love me? Man: Of course. Woman: Will you take advantage of me? Man: No. Why would you ask that? Woman: Will you kiss me? Man: Yes. Woman: Will you hurt me? Man: No way. I'm not that kind of man. Woman: Can I trust you? ...


2 Comments, 71 Views, 6 Votes ,2.80 Score
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Articles
I'll be your huckleberry!   9/27/2007

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong.

Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night in Kayenta, Arizona he recognized an elderly man seated at the bar who had the ...


10 Comments, 172 Views, 41 Votes ,3.94 Score
DEFINITIONS   9/27/2007

ATTRACTION:the act of associating horniness with a particular person. LOVE AT 1st SIGHT:what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet. DATING:the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future. BIRTH ...


1 Comments, 35 Views, 4 Votes ,3.63 Score
Comparisons   9/27/2007

A dick and a foot were complaining about their lives. The foot said, "He puts a smelly sock on me, puts me in a shoe, and makes me run around until I get all sweaty".

The dick said, "That's nothing, he makes me put on a leather overcoat, climb into a dark cave, and do push-ups until I puke."


1 Comments, 44 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
Canoe   9/27/2007

Two women are hiking in the woods. After an hour or so, they come to a stream. Unable to cross, they decide to walk along the stream and look for a narrower place. Fortunately they come to an old bridge spanning the stream.

Deciding the bridge safe, the two women proceed to cross. Halfway across, one woman stops and says to the other, "I`ve always wanted to be like the guys, and urinate ...


1 Comments, 75 Views, 6 Votes ,4.50 Score
rm_BigSexxxy693 46 M
2  Articles
What does a kiss taste like?   9/27/2007

One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, "Do you know what it is?"

No, I don't, said the little boy. Okay, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work.

Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled, ...


2 Comments, 84 Views, 5 Votes ,4.77 Score
Wonders   9/27/2007

What are the three wonders of women?

1.They can produce milk without grazing...

2.They can bleed for 7 days without dying...

3.And they can bury a bone, deeper than a dog, without getting their nose dirty.


1 Comments, 30 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
rm_BigSexxxy693 46 M
2  Articles
Piano Player Wanted   9/27/2007

This is a funny joke I had to share.....bear with me, the ending is worth it.

A piano bar is looking for a new piano player. A guy walks in holding the sign inquiring about the job, and the manager has him play a tune for him. He sits down and plays, what to the manager is, the best damned song he's ever heard. He stops him and says, wow...that is wonderful!! I have never heard that song ...


2 Comments, 73 Views, 7 Votes ,2.02 Score
rm_BigSexxxy693 46 M
2  Articles
Old Love!   9/27/2007

A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind Catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few more times with no success. All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.

She opens the window and yells to her husband, ...


5 Comments, 83 Views, 6 Votes ,4.79 Score
Silent Farts   9/27/2007

A guy walks into his doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, I'm suffering from silent gas emissions. All day at work, I have these silent gas emissions. Last night during a movie, I had 10 silent gas emissions. This morning in the car on the way to your office, I had five silent gas emissions. And, while waiting in your waiting room I had three silent gas emissions. Right now, as a matter of ...


1 Comments, 53 Views, 5 Votes ,4.12 Score
JUST A LITTLE   9/27/2007

There's this couple and they've been dating for quite some time. He wants her really bad, but she won't sleep with him because she's saving herself for marriage. As they were kissing, and doing their thing, he's very hot and bothered, and he said, Oh come on, just a feel She said, "no, I'm saving myself for marriage." They went back and forth. He said, "Just one feel, I promise, that's all, ...


1 Comments, 57 Views, 5 Votes ,4.12 Score
Blow......   9/27/2007

Two woman were talking about the new hunk in the neighborhood. But he acts so stupid, said one to the other. "I think he must have his brains between his legs."

Yeah, her friend sighed, "but I'd sure love to blow his mind."


1 Comments, 59 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Articles
The drunk and the confessional box!   9/26/2007

A drunken woman staggers in to a Catholic church and wanders over to the confessional box.She opens the door, sits down and says nothing.

The bewildered old priest waits for a few minutes, allowing the drunken woman some time to collect her thoughts.

Growing impatient, the old priest coughs to attract her attention, but still the womman says nothing.

The priest then ...


7 Comments, 150 Views, 39 Votes ,2.50 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Car Accident   9/26/2007

I had a terrible car accident i ran over three scousers on a zebra crossing, the first went through the windscreen, the second dented my bonnet and the third got hit up the road 200 yards, the police have been great!!! The first is being done for breaking and entering the second for criminal damage and the third for leaving the scene of a accident.


2 Comments, 79 Views, 9 Votes ,3.43 Score
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Articles
Licked clean! ! !   9/26/2007

One day this old man was driving for hours through the country side and needed to go to the bathroom urgently. He sees an old store off the side of the road, proceeds to the washroom an barely gets his pants down before squirting out a couple quarts of flu diarrhea.

When he was finally finished shitting some 15 minutes later, he looked around and noticed to his horror there was no ...


15 Comments, 219 Views, 42 Votes ,2.93 Score
Cock_Thruster 62 M
60  Articles
Caught in the Act!   9/26/2007

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her Husband is at work.



Her 9 year old comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the Bedroom cupboard to watch.



Just after getting into bed the woman's husband also comes home.



She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising that the little boy is in there ...



2 Comments, 139 Views, 8 Votes ,4.17 Score
rm_Jenna_56 38 C
3  Articles
Well technically....   9/25/2007

One day, a little boy asks his father what the difference is between 'technically' and 'reality.' ", I won't tell you the dictionary definition in fear that it will confuse you. But to help you out, I'll give you something to do. Go ask your mother if she will sleep with a bum for $500, 000 and ask your sister is she'll sleep with the garbageman for the same amount." So, the little boy goes up ...


2 Comments, 149 Views, 12 Votes ,5.27 Score
rm_Jenna_56 38 C
3  Articles
Blind Man....   9/25/2007

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude.

In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who is it?", calls one ...


1 Comments, 76 Views, 5 Votes ,2.82 Score
rm_Jenna_56 38 C
3  Articles
Too Much Tequila...   9/25/2007

A man and his wife enter a bar. They sit down at the bar and order a couple drinks. The wife notices another man staring at her. Her husband then stands up and excuses himself to the bathroom. The man who had been staring at the woman walks over and whispers in her ear. "I want to lick your nipples, and then I want to squeeze your ass, and finally, I want to fill your pussy up with tequila and ...


1 Comments, 115 Views, 8 Votes ,5.33 Score
rm_Jenna_56 38 C
3  Articles
The Prayer   9/25/2007

FEMALE PRAYER --------------- Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, whos not a creep, One whos handsome, smart and strong One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray hes gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, wont be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh! Send me a man ...


1 Comments, 62 Views, 4 Votes ,2.86 Score
BEST LAWYER JOKE OF THE MONTH...   9/25/2007

Two lawyers had been stranded on a desert island for several months.The only thing on the island was a tall coconut tree that provided them their only food. Each day one of the lawyers would climb to the top to see if he could spot a rescue boat coming.

One day the lawyer yelled down from the tree, "WOW, I just can't believe my eyes. There is a woman out there floating in our direction." ...


4 Comments, 168 Views, 8 Votes ,5.33 Score
Ingredients in Viagra.......   9/24/2007

They finally released the ingredients in Viagra

3% Vitamin E 2% Aspirin 2% Ibuprofen 1% Vitamin C 5% Spray Starch 87% Fix-A-Flat


3 Comments, 105 Views, 7 Votes ,3.80 Score
Why it's important to understand English!   9/24/2007

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank.



Short line. Just one lady in front of me. . .an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated . . .



She asked the teller, "Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? ...


1 Comments, 83 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Articles
Mob boss, Mob bookkeeper, Mob lawyer!   9/23/2007

A mob boss finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him out of ten million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit, and the reason he got the job in the first place, since it was the mob bosses ass! He was glad that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything that he'd ever have to testify about in court.

When the mob boss goes to shakedown the ...


10 Comments, 189 Views, 40 Votes ,3.80 Score
wishes2fantasies 52 C
1  Article
old men   9/22/2007

Do you know why they give the men in convalescent homes viagra... to keep them from rolling out of bed.


4 Comments, 160 Views, 6 Votes ,2.51 Score
legswideopen24 37 F
16  Articles
Say Another Joke   9/22/2007

Husband says to wife "Tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time"

wife replies "your cock is bigger that your brothers"...


1 Comments, 176 Views, 8 Votes ,5.33 Score
its dark in here   9/22/2007

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old in the closet.

One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well.

Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

"Yes it is, " the man replies.

"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.

"No ...


1 Comments, 106 Views, 6 Votes ,2.51 Score
somethings you cant explain now   9/22/2007

A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting stewed. A man comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?" Farmer: "Some things you just can't explain." Man: "So what happened that is so horrible?" Farmer: "Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I go the bucket about full, she took her left ...


1 Comments, 82 Views, 6 Votes ,0.80 Score
the guy with an alligator   9/22/2007

A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons and says, "I'll make you a deal. I will open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He will then open his mouth and I will remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you ...


1 Comments, 58 Views, 4 Votes ,3.63 Score
bigmel1963 55 M
17  Articles
why not a female firefighter   9/21/2007

why should you not date a female fire fighter?





after a days work there is nothing you can whip out thats going to impress her


1 Comments, 71 Views, 4 Votes ,2.47 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
The Nun at Hooters   9/21/2007

A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation, and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights woul d go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use ...


1 Comments, 87 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
funplay4couple 60 C
2  Articles
Calling in sick to work   9/21/2007

I called in sick once... The boss asked what was wrong and I told her I had rectal-keratotomy... Because I couldn't see my ass getting into work today. LOL


2 Comments, 172 Views, 5 Votes ,2.82 Score
What is butt dust?   9/21/2007

What, you ask, is "Butt dust?" Read on and you'll discover the joy in it!

These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she ...


1 Comments, 111 Views, 4 Votes ,5.57 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Women??????   9/20/2007

Ralph returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live.

Given this prognosis, Ralph asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love.

About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?" Of course, the wife agrees ...


1 Comments, 118 Views, 4 Votes ,5.19 Score
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Articles
It's them good ole boys!   9/19/2007

Two good ole boys were sitting around talking one afternoon while fishing in the river over a cold Falls City beer, one was in Kentucky and the other was on the north side of the Ohio river in Indiana.

The 1st guy says, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife while you was off huntin', and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?" ...


7 Comments, 166 Views, 39 Votes ,3.32 Score
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Articles
Grandpa, tell me bout the good ole days!   9/19/2007

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall.

He approached a uniformed policeman and said,

"I've lost my grandpa, help me!"

The cop asked,

"What's he like?"

The little boy replied,

"Crown Royal On-the-Rocks and women with big hooters."


11 Comments, 186 Views, 37 Votes ,1.63 Score
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Articles
A tall chick !   9/19/2007

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke, " and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same, " says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order.

"That will be $9.40 please." The man reaches into his ...


5 Comments, 139 Views, 39 Votes ,1.04 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
One Day   9/19/2007

One day a Jewish man said, "Last week, my wife and I had great sex. I rubbed her body all over with schmaltz (chicken fat), we made passionate love and she screamed for a full 5 minutes at the end!

A Frenchman boasted, "Last week when my wife and I had sex, I rubbed her body all over with butter. We then made passionate love and she screamed for a full 15 minutes at the end!

An ...


1 Comments, 95 Views, 5 Votes ,4.45 Score
wetcoco4u 59 F
16  Articles
Bedroom Antics   9/18/2007

One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner. He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side ...


1 Comments, 167 Views, 11 Votes ,4.29 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Short Fairy Tale   9/18/2007

Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy, "Will you marry me?" The guy said, "No, " and the girl lived happily ever after...and went shopping, drank martinis with friends, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had a closet full of shoes and handbags, stayed skinny, and was never farted on.

The End


1 Comments, 58 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
plain_ole_me1971 49 F
4  Articles
Two Skunks   9/18/2007

What do you call two skunks in the 69 position ?



A-- Odor Eaters


2 Comments, 79 Views, 6 Votes ,4.50 Score
plain_ole_me1971 49 F
4  Articles
Lightest thing   9/18/2007

What is the lightest thing in the world ?

A-- A PENIS even a thought can lift it


2 Comments, 67 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
plain_ole_me1971 49 F
4  Articles
Importian Guys In A Womens Life   9/18/2007

The most importian guys in a womens life are

:A Doctor : Because he says " Take off all your cloths "

A Dentist : Because he says " Lay down and open wide "

A Hair Dresser : Because he asks if you want it blown or teased ?

A Milkman : Because he asks if you want it in the front or back ?

and .......

A Banker : ...


1 Comments, 74 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Reminder   9/17/2007

Thought for the day

Handle every situation like a dog.





If you can't Eat it or Screw it.

Piss on it and Walk Away


2 Comments, 43 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Prostate   9/17/2007

There are over 11, 000 male urologists in the US .

But now a few women have entered the field.

A man goes to a female urologist who has excellent Medical credentials, but is also drop dead gorgeous, for an exam. The female doctor says, "I am going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on ...


1 Comments, 93 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
computer wins   9/17/2007

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs $10.00. Pete figured he had ...


1 Comments, 92 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Biker Women   9/16/2007

Biker Lady

A little old lady had always wanted to join a local biker club. One day she goes to the club and knocks on the door. A big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers. She proclaims, "I want to join your club."

The guy was amused and says she needs ! To meet certain biker requirements in order to join. The biker asks, "Do you have a motorcycle? ...


2 Comments, 111 Views, 7 Votes ,4.82 Score
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Articles
USRSF   9/15/2007

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF). These Southern boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists : 1. The season opened today. 2. There is no limit. 3. They taste just like chicken. 4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus. 5. ...


6 Comments, 154 Views, 39 Votes ,1.20 Score
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Articles
Cheeseburger in Paradise !   9/15/2007

A crusty old biker, on a summer ride in the country, walks into a tavern and sees a sign hanging over the bar which readsHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH : $2.50 HANDJOB: $10.00

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive women serving drinks to a group of farmers."Yes?" she inquires with a knowing ...


6 Comments, 170 Views, 44 Votes ,2.27 Score
Recall Notice   9/15/2007

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units, code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Subsequential ...


1 Comments, 51 Views, 3 Votes ,1.47 Score
Black Testicles   9/15/2007

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical procedure. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your ...


1 Comments, 67 Views, 6 Votes ,3.65 Score
A Cowboy Named Fred   9/15/2007

A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo Theater. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient: "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Once again, the cowboy just groaned. The ...


1 Comments, 67 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
123 Ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse or Generally Scare Lord Voldemort   9/15/2007

1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?' 2. Laugh at him. 3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...' 4. Knit him things. Really hideous things. 5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month. 6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows. 7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only ...


1 Comments, 24 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
Why Parent's Drink   9/15/2007

A father passing by his 's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad." With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I ...


1 Comments, 79 Views, 5 Votes ,4.45 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
Toilet seat   9/15/2007

The wife was fed up with the laziness of her husband because he didn't lift the toilet seat up when he pissed. The toilet seat became a big wet mess every morning. So she yelled at him, "Look you lazy bum, if you make a mess on the toilet seat one more time you will clean it up with your tongue!"

Next morning, the wife went to the bathroom and found the toilet seat squeaky clean. So ...


2 Comments, 122 Views, 4 Votes ,4.41 Score
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Articles
Be strong honey !   9/14/2007

A young strapping young man and his beautiful young blonde headed wife in their early 20's were broken into their home one night by an escaped convict as they slept one night naked.

The burly old convict in his 40's quickly tied the young man up over a bedroom chair face forward with his ass in the air and his hands tied to the bottom of the chair. Then he tied the wife to the bed spread ...


9 Comments, 149 Views, 36 Votes ,1.08 Score
bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?   9/13/2007

two minorities are sitting in a car. who's driving? the police officer!


1 Comments, 68 Views, 3 Votes ,1.47 Score
mouse & giraffe   9/13/2007

one day a mouse and a lion were sittin in a bar gettin shitfaced. a female giraffe walks in and sits at the other end of the bar. after awhile, the lion leans to the mouse and says "hey, that giraffe's checkin you out"! the mouse then walks over, whispers something in the giraffe's ear and then they get up and leave. about an hour later the mouse walks back in and he sweating and he's exhausted. ...


1 Comments, 85 Views, 7 Votes ,4.31 Score
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Flex-Wings...Period!!!   9/12/2007

Dear Mr. Thatcher,





I have been a loyal user of your "Always" maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts.





But my ...


2 Comments, 86 Views, 4 Votes ,2.47 Score
Say again????   9/12/2007

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time.

Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman ...


1 Comments, 71 Views, 7 Votes ,5.33 Score
rm_hussla81 42 M
9  Articles
funny   9/12/2007

The word of the day is dictate.

Buckwheat please use it in a sentence.

O-Tay, Betty how's my dictate!


1 Comments, 33 Views, 3 Votes ,1.96 Score
Missing Rooster   9/11/2007

The priest in a small Irish village loved the cock and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church.

But one Saturday night the cock went missing!! The priest knew that cock fights happened in the village, so he started to question his parishioners in the church the next morning. During Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?" All the men stood up.

"No, ...


1 Comments, 60 Views, 6 Votes ,3.65 Score
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
West Virginia Letter - from mom   9/8/2007

Dear ,

I am writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when yo left. Your Dad read in the paper where most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address 'cause the last family that lived here took the numbers with them for their next house so they wouldn't have to change their address. ...


1 Comments, 140 Views, 7 Votes ,4.57 Score
UpForeU2Play 65 M
155  Articles
Peanut In His Ear!   9/8/2007

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts.

He'd toss them in the air, then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question, and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.

He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they ...


1 Comments, 127 Views, 9 Votes ,4.71 Score
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Curiosity explains it!   9/8/2007

A little boy and a little girl, both about eight years old, were playing in the sandbox. Unexpectedly, the little boy farts, causing a little sand between his legs to shift. The little girl notices, and squeals with laughter. 'How'd you do that?" she asks. "Easy, " he exclaimed, "I just farted." "Can I try it, " she ask. "Sure, " he says, "anybody can do it." She concentrates as she strains and ...


1 Comments, 161 Views, 10 Votes ,5.97 Score
rm_Mr_Chiseled 55 M
1  Article
Choke on this one.......   9/8/2007

.....you see, my girlfriend...well... she's belemic. It's really put a strain on our relationship. For example: She is a clothes finatic....which makes gift buying durring the Holiday season and birthdays nearly impossible. She never stays the same dress size long enough for me to get it right.....so finally I just gave up on the clothing thing. From now on I'm only getting her GAG gifts!


2 Comments, 75 Views, 8 Votes ,2.32 Score
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Articles
What's head?   9/7/2007

A Priest is downtown when a walks up, "Hey father, head, $10.00."

The Priest didn't understand and went back to the church.

He asks a nun, "What's head?"

The nun says, "$10.00, same as downtown!"


7 Comments, 212 Views, 42 Votes ,1.16 Score
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Articles
The longest dicks !   9/7/2007

Two men were standing on a bridge over a creek about 25ft. above the water and they decided to measure their dicks since there had been an argument between the two.

The first man pulls out his dick and flops it over the rail of the bridge and the head of his dick is barely touching the water. He says, " Dam that creek water is cold on the head of my dick. Beat that!"

The other ...


19 Comments, 299 Views, 45 Votes ,3.23 Score
rm_nibbles4play 50 M
1  Article
how to deal with officious cops   9/7/2007

A guy gets pulled by a traffic cop for speeding doing 53 in a 50 zone. a little annoyed but accepting that technically he is at fault he apologies to the officer and politely tries his best to talk his way out of a ticket and into a verbal warning but the cop isn't having any of it. eventually the guy realizes this cop isn't gonna be dissuaded from issuing the ticket especially as he is now ...


1 Comments, 126 Views, 5 Votes ,4.77 Score
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
The Knob   9/7/2007

A woman visited her plastic surgeon who told her about a new procedure called "The Knob, " where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the effect of a brand new face-lift. Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob."

Over the course of the years, the woman periodically tightened the knob and the effects were wonderful. She ...


3 Comments, 104 Views, 8 Votes ,4.41 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
PHONE CALL FROM HELL   9/7/2007

A man gets a phone call from the doctors "its about ur wife"

"What about my wife"

"Well shes be in for test and we have mixed up the results and we dont know whether she has altzeihmers or aids"

"What should i do?"

"Well if she finds her own way home, dont fuck her"


4 Comments, 197 Views, 9 Votes ,5.56 Score
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
HYPNOTIST   9/6/2007

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"

His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.' It ...


6 Comments, 160 Views, 8 Votes ,4.17 Score
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Grandma's Letter!   9/6/2007

She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:

Dear Grand-:

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker.

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it ...


3 Comments, 141 Views, 5 Votes ,4.77 Score
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Chinese Virgins!!!   9/6/2007

A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that. On their wedding night, she cowers shyly under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness.

He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring."My darring, " he whispers, "I know dis your firss time and you berry flighten.

I plomise you, I give you ...


2 Comments, 131 Views, 8 Votes ,4.41 Score
fireman41098 68 M
2  Articles
cuddle   9/6/2007

What the deal with sex these days? Nobody wants to cuddle. The whores just get out of the car and leave.


2 Comments, 62 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
fireman41098 68 M
2  Articles
sporting-good store   9/6/2007

A lady goes into a sporting-goods store & saysto the salesman, "i need a present for my 's birthday" The salesman say, "how about this skateboard?" She says, How much?'He say's "thirty- nineninety-five" She says "too much" He says "how about this baseball bat?" she says "how much." He says "Eight ninety-five." she says "All right, i take it."he says , "You wanna ball for the bat?" She says, No ...


3 Comments, 68 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
fireman41098 68 M
2  Articles
sporting-good store   9/6/2007

A lady goes into a sporting-goods store & saysto the salesman, "i need a present for my 's birthday" The salesman say, "how about this skateboard?" She says, How much?'He say's "thirty- nineninety-five" She says "too much" He says "how about this baseball bat?" she says "how much." He says "Eight ninety-five." she says "All right, i take it."he says , "You wanna ball for the bat?" She says, No ...


1 Comments, 31 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
Birthday present. From the heart.   9/6/2007

A guy want to buy a present for his girlfriend. They just start going out recently. After careful consideration, he bought her a pair of gloves. And write her a romantic personal message.

He went to the department store with the girlfriend's sister. He bought a pair of white gloves while the sister bought two panties for herself.

But the staff at the store made a mistake and ...


3 Comments, 78 Views, 6 Votes ,2.80 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
Very good dentist   9/6/2007

A man and a woman met at the bar. They seem to hit it off pretty well. An hour after they met, they decided to go to the woman's condo. After a few more drinks, the man took off his shirt and washed his hands. He then took off his socks and washed his hands again. "You must be a dentist", the woman said. "How can you tell?" "Easy, you always wash your hands".

One thing lead to ...


3 Comments, 145 Views, 5 Votes ,4.45 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
American, Canadian, and Scottish   9/5/2007

After a plane crash, three men, an American, a Sottish, and a Canadian, stood in front of gateway to afterlife facing the grim reaper. The grim reaper said, "I do not have space here to take you at this time. How about we make a deal? If you pay me $200 now I will send you back to the land of the living." The American said, "Done!". He paid the grim reaper $200 and "poof" He rematerialized ...


3 Comments, 152 Views, 5 Votes ,4.45 Score
wetcoco4u 59 F
16  Articles
Living Will   9/5/2007

Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living Room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, honey, just pull the plug!"

She got up and unplugged the TV and threw out my beer.

She's such a Bitch...


3 Comments, 138 Views, 12 Votes ,5.63 Score
Swankie57 65 M
50  Articles
Condom Buddies   9/5/2007

What did one condom say to the other when they went by the gay bar?

"Do you wanna get shit faced?"
...


1 Comments, 51 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
Rodeo Sex   9/5/2007

Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favourite sex positions. One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one", says the other cowboy, "what is it?"

"Well, it's where you get your girlfriend down on all fours, and you mount her from behind, and you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands, and then ...


2 Comments, 102 Views, 10 Votes ,3.58 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
Why is liquor better than wife?   9/3/2007

1. Liquor never go shopping. You don't have to give it money.

2. You can have international liquor without the problem of language barrier. May it be American beer, French wine, Japanese Sake. But international wife, you have to work at it for years.

3. You can always cool liquor in the fridge. But cooling down your wife requires lots of flowers, perfumes, tons of gifts. ...


2 Comments, 103 Views, 4 Votes ,4.41 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
The new CEO   9/3/2007

A corporation is in trouble because of its performance. The new CEO in charge faces with the task of get the corporation back on its feet. First policy he implements is to increase productivity and efficiency of the corporation. Anyone who doesn't put 100% effort will be let go immediately.

After the meeting with department managers, he walked with them to inspect the office. He saw ...


2 Comments, 74 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
Strong medicine   9/3/2007

A woman saw her doctor and discussed about her husband didn't make love to her as often any more. The doctor gave her some sexual stimulant. He cautioned her, "Now this drug is still experimental, just mix it with the meal when he isn't looking and see what happened."

A week later, the same woman came back to see the doctor again. "The drug really works. When I slipped it in my ...


2 Comments, 159 Views, 5 Votes ,4.45 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
Sex and nose picking   9/3/2007

One day a father and were talking.

: Dad, how does it feel to make love? Father: It feels like picking your nose. : So how come when making love, women moan like they are happier than the men? Father: When you pick your nose, does your finger or your nose feel better? : If the women feel better, why don't they like being ? Father: It's not the same. If you were walking along the ...


2 Comments, 113 Views, 8 Votes ,2.32 Score
SLIDESHOW1966 57 M
6  Articles
roses   9/2/2007

A man comes home with a dozen red roses for his wife. She snapped at him, saying "I suppose you want me on my back with my legs spread all week" The man answered, " why, don't we have a vase?"


1 Comments, 118 Views, 10 Votes ,3.58 Score
Blonde joke   9/2/2007

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him ...


1 Comments, 149 Views, 10 Votes ,2.59 Score
The World's Shortest Fairy Tale   9/2/2007

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said "No!" And the guy lived happliy ever after, and went fishing, hunting, and played golf a lot, and drank beer, and farted whenever he wanted.


1 Comments, 93 Views, 11 Votes ,1.48 Score
Amish Sex   9/2/2007

An Amish woman and her were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold." The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up." The did, and her hands warmed up. The next day the was riding with her boy friend who said, "My hands are freezing cold." The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth ...


1 Comments, 178 Views, 13 Votes ,4.32 Score
CREATION   9/2/2007

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"


1 Comments, 88 Views, 7 Votes ,2.79 Score
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN-A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE   9/2/2007

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.


2 Comments, 82 Views, 8 Votes ,0.70 Score
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST   9/2/2007

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton


1 Comments, 102 Views, 9 Votes ,1.29 Score
MAKING A BABY   9/2/2007

The Smiths were unable to conceive and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife good-bye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.' Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've ...


1 Comments, 126 Views, 8 Votes ,3.01 Score
Scottish Joke   9/2/2007

A Scotsman moves to the US and attends his first baseball game. The first batter approaches the batters' box, takes a few swings and then hits a double.

Everyone is on their feet screaming 'Run!!!' The next batter hits a single. The Scotsman listens as the crowd again cheers 'RUN!! RUN!!' The Scotsman is enjoying the game and begins screaming with the fans. The fifth batter comes ...


3 Comments, 107 Views, 10 Votes ,2.99 Score
Polish Divorce   9/2/2007

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

L: Have you any grounds? ...


1 Comments, 94 Views, 4 Votes ,0.53 Score
Who's got the biggest balls of them all?   9/2/2007

The game of choice for unemployed people or maintenance level workers is basketball.

The game of choice for frontline workers is football.

The game of choice for middle management is tennis.

The game of choice for CEOs and executives is golf.

Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you are, the smaller your balls are.


1 Comments, 53 Views, 5 Votes ,0.86 Score
SLIDESHOW1966 57 M
6  Articles
Car accident   9/1/2007

My friend was in a car sccident on the way to work the other day. The guy he hit got out of his car, and he was a dwarf. He very angrily came over to my friend, and said I am not happy. My friend replied, then wich one are you?


2 Comments, 128 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
tigerfrog06 48 C
6  Articles
a load of a different shot   9/1/2007

Taking a Tinkle

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy .

All was fine for 16 years, and then one walked into ...


4 Comments, 133 Views, 5 Votes ,5.43 Score
tigerfrog06 48 C
6  Articles
The difference between guts and balls.   9/1/2007

Guts And Balls

We've all heard about people having guts or balls.

But do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...



GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are ...


4 Comments, 114 Views, 7 Votes ,5.33 Score
sticksey1964 52 M
18  Articles
The Funeral   9/1/2007

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A big black hearse was followed by a second big black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking ...


4 Comments, 147 Views, 7 Votes ,6.10 Score
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Eve's side of the story!   9/1/2007

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going?' inquired God. 'It is all so beautiful, God, ' she replied.

'The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, I have just one problem.

It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking ...


0 Comments, 18 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
The 11th Husband   9/1/2007

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin".

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times.?"

"Well, husband#1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

"Husband # 2 was in ...


3 Comments, 118 Views, 6 Votes ,4.22 Score
rm_hammerman15 62 M
20  Articles
the name game.   8/31/2007

We get Bill out of William We get Peggy out of Margaret Get get Bob out of Robert How do we get Dick out of Richard?

Pour a pail of cold water over them.


1 Comments, 58 Views, 5 Votes ,2.16 Score
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Wrong Test Results   8/31/2007

MEDICARE COVERAGE IN A NUTSHELL

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.'

'Mrs. Ward, please.'

'Speaking.'

'Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory.When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your ...


3 Comments, 127 Views, 6 Votes ,3.08 Score
ILLYADEE 58 F
15  Articles
FATHER   8/31/2007

>A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. >The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards. >The man who was a priest said, I am a Father. >The little boy replied. My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that. >The priest looked up from his book and answered. I am the Father of many. >The boy said, My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls ...


2 Comments, 86 Views, 6 Votes ,3.93 Score
fireman41098 68 M
2  Articles
man talking big   8/30/2007

Three guys are hanging out in a bar. two of them are talking about how they control their wives, but the third guy is quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, " well, what about you? What sort of control do you have over you wife?" THe third guy says, " just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees" The first ...


1 Comments, 119 Views, 7 Votes ,4.06 Score
Lifesavers   8/29/2007

A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first graders, using a bowl of lifesavers. He gave all the the same kind of lifesavers, one at a time, and asked them to identify them by color and flavor. The were easily able to identify:

"Red............cherry, "

"Yellow.........lemon, "

"Green.........lime, "

"Orange..........orange."

...


1 Comments, 96 Views, 7 Votes ,4.57 Score
Why, Why, Why   8/29/2007

Why, Why, Why

Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they ...


2 Comments, 53 Views, 6 Votes ,3.65 Score
bluangel858 39 F
8  Articles
A lesson learned   8/28/2007

This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window...

He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.

"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?

"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.

He tells her to ...


4 Comments, 163 Views, 9 Votes ,3.43 Score
bluangel858 39 F
8  Articles
Consequinces   8/28/2007

The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.

He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."

The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."

He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!"

The ...


3 Comments, 96 Views, 6 Votes ,3.93 Score
bluangel858 39 F
8  Articles
Ha! Very crude and hilarious sex jokes   8/28/2007

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are ...


3 Comments, 117 Views, 7 Votes ,3.80 Score
bluangel858 39 F
8  Articles
Crude Jokes   8/28/2007

Q. What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes? A. Goes-in-tight!

Q. How do you know when you are getting old? A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself.

Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.

Q. Why do women ...


2 Comments, 85 Views, 5 Votes ,4.12 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Book of manners   8/27/2007

REDNECK BOOK OF MANNERS > 1. Never take a beer to a job interview. > 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. > 3. It's considered poor taste to take a cooler to church. > 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. > 5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is > still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to ...


1 Comments, 49 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
Swankie57 65 M
50  Articles
It's Starting to Rain!   8/27/2007

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. First Blonde: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked! Second Blonde: Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!...


1 Comments, 112 Views, 4 Votes ,4.80 Score
Swankie57 65 M
50  Articles
The Ride   8/27/2007

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the unassisted and the immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the 's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms ...



1 Comments, 100 Views, 6 Votes ,3.93 Score
Swankie57 65 M
50  Articles
Fix the Dents   8/27/2007

A blonde was driving home after work, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to just go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and ...


1 Comments, 87 Views, 6 Votes ,3.65 Score
Swankie57 65 M
50  Articles
Milk Bath   8/27/2007

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons so he knocked on her door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you ...


1 Comments, 84 Views, 4 Votes ,4.80 Score
XxyoungandhungxX 35 M
9  Articles
A little toilet hummor lol   8/27/2007

Crabs and critters beneith this lid A friendly word to tee i bid With just a secon a mighty blast Will great u with a noxous gas


1 Comments, 50 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
rm_big8by4 41 M
1  Article
cut it off   8/26/2007

a beautiful woman walked up to me and said, give me 9 inches and make it hurt. i looked at her and said, you are really hot, but i aint cutting 6 inches off for nobody.


3 Comments, 90 Views, 7 Votes ,2.28 Score
stealth_fighter1 112 M
20  Articles
The Kitchen Bitch   8/25/2007

>The Kitchen Bitch > >A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her >5-year-old playing with his new electric train in the >living room. She heard the train stop and her saying, >"All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell >off now... cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons >of bitches who are getting on, get your asses on the >train...cause we're going down the ...


1 Comments, 103 Views, 9 Votes ,5.35 Score
Chili Cookoff   8/25/2007

Judge No. 3 was visiting from up North...

Chuck: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Southerners) that the chili wouldn't ...


2 Comments, 59 Views, 6 Votes ,5.07 Score
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Articles
The teacher   8/25/2007

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow ...


7 Comments, 161 Views, 38 Votes ,3.49 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Overhear on Air Traffic Control   8/24/2007

eastbound on runway 9R."

Saudi Air: "Thank you Atlanta ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised.

Atlanta ATC: "Tower to Iran Air 711 --You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R."

Iran Air: "Thank you Atlanta ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. - Allah is Great.



Pause:

Static..

...


3 Comments, 114 Views, 9 Votes ,3.00 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Geography   8/24/2007

WONDERS OF AGING Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

> >Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well > >developed and open to trade, especially for someone > >with cash. > > > >Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, > >relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. > > > >Between 36 and 40, a woman is like ...


1 Comments, 62 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Articles
Piggly Wiggly stock boy !   8/24/2007

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the Piggly Wiggly store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.



She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."


10 Comments, 227 Views, 47 Votes ,3.94 Score
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Articles
Hooters Airline   8/24/2007

It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.

A blonde busty flight attendant asked a male passenger, "Would you like dinner?" "What are my choices?" The passenger asked. "Yes or no, " she replied.


10 Comments, 204 Views, 40 Votes ,1.80 Score
_JKH_ 69 M
858  Articles
Sweet Thang   8/24/2007

A young girl of 13 was hearing a lot of new words pertaining to sex at school that she didn't understand at all. She decided to ask her divorced, single beautiful 30 year old blonde headed mom about it bluntly.

The told her mom the at school were saying things about going down on one another and that she didn't understand it at all. She asked her mom, "Will you tell me what they ...


31 Comments, 514 Views, 71 Votes ,3.78 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Sign Language   8/24/2007

A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he can't find the rake. He yells up to his wife, "Where is the rake?"

She can't hear him and shouts back, "What?" The man first points to his eye, then points to his knee and finally makes a raking motion. The wife is not sure and says, "What?" The man repeats his gestures, mouthing "EYE KNEE - THE ...


2 Comments, 137 Views, 14 Votes ,4.10 Score
stealth_fighter1 112 M
20  Articles
THE BOX UNDER BILL & HILLARY'S BED   8/23/2007

THE BOX UNDER BILL & HILLARY'S BED

When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, "I am putting a

box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it."





In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. On the

afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her

and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. ...


2 Comments, 108 Views, 7 Votes ,5.33 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
CAR-CROSSED LOVERS   8/23/2007

A woman and a man driver are involved in a horrific collision, but amazingly both escape completely unhurt - though their cars are written off. As they crawl out of the wreckage, the man sees the woman is blonde and strikingly beautiful. Then the woman turns to the man and gushes breathily: 'That's incredible - both our cars are demolished but we're fine. It must be a sign from God that we are ...


2 Comments, 147 Views, 18 Votes ,4.22 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
A Man At The Beach   8/23/2007

One day there was this man that went to a beach completely naked even though the beach was a non-nude beach.

But the man thought and thought looking around. Nobody is here so he doesn't care. He takes off his towel and lays down with a newspaper to cover his privates just in case.

Soon comes a little girl that asks "Sir, what's under the newspaper?"

The man replies with ...


1 Comments, 108 Views, 12 Votes ,3.51 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
The Confused Shopper   8/23/2007

Billy was on holiday in America and didn't speak very good English. It was his last day and he was heading to the airport to fly home, but first he needed to buy a few things.

He ends up going to the store and asking the clerk for some "BUM". She sits there and thinks for awhile and then says, "Oh you must mean gum."

Then he goes to the fish store and askes if he could get some ...


1 Comments, 85 Views, 11 Votes ,2.42 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
The Price You Pay For Being Good   8/23/2007

3 Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, "However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven".

The first guy comes up to the gate and says, "I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her". So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce.

The next man comes up and says, "I cheated on my wife a little but I stilll love her." He gets ...


1 Comments, 109 Views, 10 Votes ,3.58 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
2 men waiting to see Doctor   8/23/2007

Two men shitting themselves in a doctors surgery of the local health clinic, one turns round to the other and asks whats wrong? the other says that hes got a red ring round the end of his dick. the other one says oh god! ive got a green ring round mine. the guy with the green ring round his todger gets called in and five minutes later he comes out cryin his eyes out to the horror of the first ...


1 Comments, 114 Views, 9 Votes ,3.85 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Golf with the wife   8/23/2007

A man staggers into hospital with multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Doctor asked

"what happened to you"?

"Well", the man replied, "i was playing golf with my wife when she sliced her golf ball into a field of cows. I found the ball stuck in a cows fanny so i yelled to my wife, this looks like yours, i don't remember much after ...


1 Comments, 95 Views, 11 Votes ,3.73 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Wedding Reception   8/23/2007

A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened...but then they danced for the second song too. And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs. A riot broke out, and all the invited guests were hauled off to jail. In court the next week, the ...


1 Comments, 102 Views, 12 Votes ,3.33 Score
rm_liz3120072 48 F
6  Articles
He shares a room   8/23/2007

Okay, so a guy is nearing the end of his senior year in high school. Unfortunately, he still has to share a room with his younger brother who is only 9 years old.

One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun. They have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is already asleep on the lower bunk, so he and his girlfriend climb up to the top bunk. ...


1 Comments, 306 Views, 13 Votes ,3.81 Score
ILLYADEE 58 F
15  Articles
MATING BULLS   8/22/2007

> A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they > stopped at was the breeding bulls. > > They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that > said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife playfully nudged > her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year." > > They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, > "This ...


2 Comments, 108 Views, 6 Votes ,3.08 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
21 Reasons Why Cucumbers Are Better   8/22/2007

A cucumber won't tell you that size doesn't matter... A cucumber won't need to be sucked off... A cucumber won't care what time of the month it is... A cucumber won't lie to you about having a vasectomy... A cucumber won't want to come on your face... A cucumber won't fall asleep too soon... A cucumber won't fall asleep on your chest or drool on the pillow... A cucumber won't make you sleep on ...


1 Comments, 97 Views, 15 Votes ,4.05 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Wasting Your Time   8/22/2007

A little boy walks into his parents room and sees his mom bouncing up and down on top of his dad.

Mom sees her and quickly dismounts, worrying about what her has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.

The sees his Mom and asks, "What were you and dad doing?"

The mother replies "Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it ...


0 Comments, 26 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Spiders In The Garden   8/22/2007

A father watched his playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating, " her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" ...


0 Comments, 188 Views, 19 Votes ,5.10 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Certainly A Halloween Party To Remember   8/22/2007

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Hallowe'en Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for one ...


0 Comments, 109 Views, 15 Votes ,4.82 Score
spoldrtn812 58 F
17  Articles
Pre Booty-Call Agreement   8/21/2007

This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2006, by_______________________, between ____________and______________.

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES: 1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning. 2. No meeting in public ...



0 Comments, 93 Views, 4 Votes ,1.30 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
10 REJECTION LINES GIVEN BY WOMEN   8/21/2007

10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")

9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You are one Jurassic geezer.)

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)

7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may ...


1 Comments, 102 Views, 15 Votes ,4.66 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Strict Sex Schedule   8/21/2007

A young couple were married and they were having sex all the time during their honeymoon, but when the honeymoon was over they had to adjust their sex schedule to their work schedule.

So every day the husband would get home at 5 o'clock, and every day they would go to bed at 5:15. In the door at 5, in the sack at 5:15. This went on for months, never missing a day until the wife came down ...


0 Comments, 114 Views, 16 Votes ,4.01 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Chores On The Farm   8/21/2007

A young boy comes down to breakfast one morning. His mother asks, "Have you done your chores yet?" "No, " replies the boy, "but could I have breakfast first?"

"You know the rules, go outside and clean the chicken coop, milk the cow and feed the pigs."

The boy goes down to the chicken coop and lazily cleans it. When he is finished he he kicks a chicken. Next, we walks to the barn ...


0 Comments, 138 Views, 14 Votes ,3.30 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Family Honor   8/21/2007

A girl was going on her first date and her grandmother gave her some advice: The boy may try to kiss you -- it will feel good, but don't do it. He may try to go up your skirt -- but don't let him. He may try to try to take your clothes off -- but don't do it. He may try to get on top of you -- but don't do it. If you do any of these things, you'll disgrace your family.

The girl said she ...


1 Comments, 128 Views, 15 Votes ,4.05 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Heroic Act   8/21/2007

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the hospital director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered that Edna be ...


0 Comments, 60 Views, 12 Votes ,3.68 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Scottish Ticket Dodgers   8/21/2007

Three scots and three englishmen are traveling by train to a football match. At the station, the three englishmen each buy tickets and watch as the three scots buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the three Englanders.

"Watch and you'll see, " answers one of the Scotsmen.

They all board the train. The ...


0 Comments, 71 Views, 13 Votes ,3.98 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Answering Service At Mental Institute   8/21/2007

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, ...


0 Comments, 61 Views, 14 Votes ,3.46 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Wrong Email   8/21/2007

An Illinois lady left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. Her husband was on a business trip and was planning to meet her there the next day.

When she reached her hotel, she decided to send her husband a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which she had written his email address, she did her best to type it in from memory.

Unfortunately, ...


0 Comments, 66 Views, 11 Votes ,4.48 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Tricking a Nun   8/21/2007

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of ...


2 Comments, 164 Views, 19 Votes ,5.89 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Condom Slogans   8/21/2007

1. Cover your stump before you hump 2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker 3. Don't be silly, protect your willy 4. When in doubt, shroud your spout 5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner 6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong 7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it 8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey 9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize ...


1 Comments, 47 Views, 12 Votes ,4.57 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?   8/21/2007

1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.

2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.

3. You can do it with no hands, but it's best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.

4. It's easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.

5. You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not ...


0 Comments, 48 Views, 11 Votes ,4.10 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
The Check Up   8/21/2007

An elderly couple scheduled their annual medical examination the same day so they could travel together.

After the examination, the doctor then said to the elderly man "You appear to be in good health, do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"

"In fact I do, " said the man, "After I have sex with my wife for the first time, I am usually hot and ...


1 Comments, 99 Views, 13 Votes ,5.16 Score
ILLYADEE 58 F
15  Articles
REMEDY FOR GOING BALD   8/20/2007

During his monthly visit to the corner barbershop, this fellow asked his barber for any suggestions on how to treat his increasing baldness.





After a brief pause, the barber leaned over and confided that the best thing he'd come across was, er, female juices.





"But you're balder than I am, " protested the customer.





...


3 Comments, 112 Views, 9 Votes ,5.35 Score
hornylilwench68 47 F
6  Articles
WAYS TO SAY NO   8/19/2007

WAYS TO SAY NO

* I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.

* I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.

* I have to floss my pets.

* I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.

* I want to spend more time with my blender.

* I'm attending the opening of my garage door.

* I'm ...



1 Comments, 84 Views, 4 Votes ,1.30 Score
hornylilwench68 47 F
6  Articles
Definition Of..   8/19/2007

Q: How do you define “making love”?

A: It’s what a woman does while a guy is screwing her.
...


2 Comments, 73 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
hornylilwench68 47 F
6  Articles
Heavy Breathing..   8/19/2007

Q: How is sex a lot like air?

A: Because it’s not a big deal unless you’re not getting any.
...


2 Comments, 43 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
hornylilwench68 47 F
6  Articles
A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class on a plane…   8/19/2007

A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class on a plane. The woman sneezes, then takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs. The man isn’t sure he saw what she did, and decides he is probably hallucinating.

A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs. The man is about to go nuts. ...



1 Comments, 130 Views, 4 Votes ,4.41 Score
hornylilwench68 47 F
6  Articles
A hug leads to .....   8/19/2007

[B]A hug leads to a kiss...a kiss leads 2 a finger...a finger leads to a a hand...a hand leads to a lick...a lick leads to a suck...a suck leads 2 a fuck. So tell me how many people are you gonna hug after you heard this because sex is like math...u add the bed...subtract the clothes...divide the legs...leave your solution...and pray you don't multiply!...


1 Comments, 76 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
WHY I'M KNACKERED   8/18/2007

I'm knackered because I'm overworked. The population of this country is 61 million. 31 million are retired. That leaves 30 million to do the work. There are 19 million at school. That leaves 11 million to do the work. 2 million are unemployed and 4 million are employed by the Government to look after us. That leaves 5 million to do the work. One million are in the armed forces, which leaves 4 ...


1 Comments, 55 Views, 12 Votes ,5.10 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
LETTER AND RESPONSE   8/18/2007

Brad, It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all or anything that happened, so I won't even try ...


1 Comments, 62 Views, 13 Votes ,4.32 Score
tigerfrog06 48 C
6  Articles
drinking warnings   8/18/2007

Newly issued alcohol warnings The Toronto Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage.

1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.

...


2 Comments, 65 Views, 4 Votes ,2.08 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Female goes to Dr`s for a check up   8/17/2007

This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window...

He tells her to take her skirt off, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.

"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?

"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.

He tells her ...


1 Comments, 152 Views, 15 Votes ,5.27 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
The Newlyweds   8/17/2007

The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.

He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."

The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."

He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!"

The ...


1 Comments, 100 Views, 12 Votes ,4.92 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
25th Anniversary   8/17/2007

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she ...


1 Comments, 100 Views, 11 Votes ,5.97 Score
tigerfrog06 48 C
6  Articles
office game   8/16/2007

ok here is a game that anyone can play especially fun if you work in an office. make sure you come back here to record your scores.

Play the Office Game

Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards points as follows:

ONE POINT

Run one lap around the office at top speed. Walk sideways to ...


2 Comments, 116 Views, 3 Votes ,1.96 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
Dogs Dogs Dogs   8/16/2007

Why are dogs better than men?

misses you when you are not home. feels guilty when it does something wrong. doesn't critisize your friends. doesn't feel pressured by your intellegence. You can teach dog. You don't feel suspicious when the mumbling something strange. understands what "no" means. understands that its friends cannot come into the house. Middle aged doesn't leave you for ...


2 Comments, 112 Views, 4 Votes ,2.47 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
From Technical Support   8/16/2007

Attn: Technical Support; Subject: A bug in the program.

Dear Technical support;

Last year I upgraded program Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, I found there are strange things happening. Program Wife 1.0 started taking up space and valuable resource, which was not mentioned in the manual.

Wife 1.0 installs itself and run by itself. It constantly monitor other programs such ...


1 Comments, 45 Views, 3 Votes ,1.47 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
10 reasons why sex is better than school   8/16/2007

1. You can finish faster. 2. You can finish together with your partner. 3. You can do it when feel like it. 4. Lots of "How to" videos. 5. You can be as loud as you like in the room. 6. You don't have to worry about the dress code. 7. You don't need a lot of lighting. 8. Theory is not important, focus on action. 9. You don't need to use your brain, just feeling. 10. Whoever you are, the ...


1 Comments, 47 Views, 4 Votes ,1.30 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
10 reasons why studying is better than sex   8/16/2007

1. You can always find someone to join you. 2. You can stop when you are tired and won't upset your partner. 3. You can finish as quickly as you like, and don't have to feel guilty. 4. When you open a book, you don't have to worry if someone opened it before you. 5. A cup of coffee and you can go on all night. 6. If you need to go somewhere, you can bookmark it, then pickup where you left ...


1 Comments, 29 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
tigerfrog06 48 C
6  Articles
new diet plan   8/15/2007

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dogs and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog ...Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with ...


1 Comments, 187 Views, 9 Votes ,5.99 Score
ILLYADEE 58 F
15  Articles
HONORABLE    8/15/2007

Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their are.

The first one tells her friends, "My is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father."

The second Catholic woman chirps, "Well, my is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not to put you ...


1 Comments, 88 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Life   8/14/2007

Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches, it's more like a jar of Jalapenos - - -













What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
...


0 Comments, 22 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
splinter672007 57 M
6  Articles
God bless Australian women...   8/13/2007

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had told his wife she needed to do all the dishes and housework. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

Jimmie had married a woman from ...


1 Comments, 137 Views, 5 Votes ,2.82 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
Family of three   8/13/2007

At dinner, a wife asked her husband, "How do you feel about us being family of three?" The husband has always wanted a , so he is very exited. "That would be great! When?". "Next week, my mother is coming to live with us!"


1 Comments, 160 Views, 3 Votes ,1.47 Score
Love is in the Air   8/12/2007

> One night , after the couple had retired for > > > > The night, the women became aware that her husband > > > > Was touching her in a most unusual manner. He > > > > Started by running his hand across her shoulders and > > > > The small of her back. He ran his hand over her > > > > Breasts, touching them very lightly. Then, he > > > > Proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, > > > > ...


3 Comments, 180 Views, 7 Votes ,2.79 Score
Why Men Are Happier   8/12/2007

Why Men are just happier people. What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your ...


1 Comments, 161 Views, 9 Votes ,3.85 Score
sexmachine1450 38 M
4  Articles
barber   8/12/2007

a little girl goes 2 a barbers with her dad & stands next 2 the chair eating a cake while her dad gets his haircut, the barber smiles at her & says "you're going to get hair on your muffin" "i know" she says, "im going to get tits too you dirty old bastard".


1 Comments, 110 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
Learing to swear   8/11/2007

A 5 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.

"You know what?" says the 5 year old, "I think it's about time we start swearing." The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

"When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna say 'hell', and you say 'ass', ok?" "Ok." The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 5 year old ...


1 Comments, 77 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
$200   8/10/2007

One day the husband was out working and wife stayed home. In the after noon, a friend of family named John stopped by. He asked the wife, "Is your husband home?" She said, "He won't be back until six. You can wait for him here". A few minutes later, John said, "I found you very attractive. Can I have sex with you? I will give you $200 for it." The wife was startled at first but thought ...


0 Comments, 115 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
Premature ejaculation   8/10/2007

A man has problems of prematur ejaculation. He went to see a doctor about it. The doctor gave him advise, "When you feel you are about to cum, do something that startle you. It should help."

He went home and found his wife lying in bed naked, so he proceed to have sex with her. When they were in 69 position, he felt the urge to ejaculate. So he grabed a pistol from the drawer and ...


0 Comments, 84 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
Look at my face   8/10/2007

The husband was watching football on TV, the wife came asked him, "Dear, could you fix the light in the hallway? It has been out for weeks". The husband answered, "What, am I an electrician? Look at my face, do I have a GE sign on it?" The wife then said, "Please fix the washing machine". The husband replyed, "Do I have a whirlpool logo on my forhead? I am not a repairman". The wife" At least ...


0 Comments, 75 Views, 3 Votes ,1.47 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
Big family   8/10/2007

A sheikh has a large harem with 30 wives and 150 . One day he was riding his Rolls-Royce in town an saw an attractive young woman. He told the driver to stop over and talked to the young woman "Hey baby, do you want to go to my harem?" The woman answered, "I don't think I should, Daddy."


1 Comments, 114 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
gashapon2 55 M
38  Articles
The truth you may not know   8/10/2007

1. Boss always come to work late when you are early and always early when you are late. 2. Criminals are someone like you and me, only got caught. 3. Diplomats can talk you into going to hell, and you can't wait to get there. 4. Doctors can cure you with medication, then kill you with the bill. 5. Lawyers use law to help those who broke the law. 6. Advertisers always speak the truth about ...


1 Comments, 78 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
£5000   8/8/2007

A bloke see's an advert in the pet shop, talkin centipede 5000 pounds. he buys it takes it home in a small box and after 30 mins he opens the box and asks if it would like to go for a pint, the centipede doesen't answer, raising his voice he repeats the question, still no reply, gettin angry thinkin he's been done he shouts the question at which the centipede sticks his head out and says "I HEARD ...


0 Comments, 138 Views, 18 Votes ,5.99 Score
splinter672007 57 M
6  Articles
Nice one, Murph...   8/8/2007

Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg.

Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?"

"No bother, " he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sitting on their beds.

"Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both."

"Fook off you liar!" said the ...


2 Comments, 123 Views, 8 Votes ,3.71 Score
69er vs Family Reunion   8/7/2007

What is the difference between a 69er and a Family Reunion.



With a 69er you only have to kiss one cunt/dickhead


1 Comments, 90 Views, 6 Votes ,3.37 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
tony blairs autobiograghy out soon   8/7/2007

It`s called " politics is like oral sex..............one slip of the tounge and your in the shit"


1 Comments, 133 Views, 20 Votes ,4.78 Score
splinter672007 57 M
6  Articles
For all the managers out there...   8/7/2007

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north ...


3 Comments, 164 Views, 8 Votes ,3.94 Score
splinter672007 57 M
6  Articles
Sounds like common sense to me...   8/6/2007

Bono, the lead singer of the band, U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous. At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds.

Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, "Every time I ...


1 Comments, 92 Views, 7 Votes ,4.31 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
The Love Poem   8/5/2007

Tyrone asked his work buddy, Robert, one morning, "Man, why you always so damn happy when you come to work every day?" Robert replied, "That's because I make love to my wife every morning before work."

Amazed, Tyrone asked him how he gets his wife to make love to him every morning. "That's easy, " Robert said. "I just tell her this little poem that I made up. She loves it! It goes like ...


1 Comments, 79 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
A LETTER FROM AN IRISH WOMAN TO HER    8/5/2007

I am writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read very fast. We are all very well here. You won't recognise the house when you get home because we've moved. It is quite nice and has got a washing machine. I put shirts in it last week, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since. Your father's got a really good job now. He's got 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the ...


1 Comments, 148 Views, 22 Votes ,5.89 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Jews In Mexico   8/5/2007

Two Jewish men, Sid and Al, were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. Sid asked Al, "Are there any people of our faith born and raised in Mexico ?"

Al replied, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter."

When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Mexican Jews?" and the waiter said, "I don't know Senor, I'll ask the cooks."

He returned from the kitchen in a few minutes ...


1 Comments, 79 Views, 7 Votes ,4.31 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
WHY CONDOMS COME IN BOXES OF 3, 6, AND 12   8/5/2007

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old . They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad? To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called Condoms, . Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh I see, " replied the boy pensively. Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why ...


1 Comments, 134 Views, 23 Votes ,6.86 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
THE PERFECT HUSBAND   8/5/2007

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and began to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes" WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only 31, 000. Is it OK if I buy ...


1 Comments, 125 Views, 19 Votes ,6.03 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
THERE'S ALWAYS FUCKIN ONE AINT THERE?   8/5/2007

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for ...


1 Comments, 139 Views, 20 Votes ,6.57 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
HAVE A NICE DAY   8/5/2007

A middle aged man bought a brand new Holden Monaro. He took off down the road, pushed it up to 130 kmph, and was enjoying the wind blowing through his (thinning) hair. "This is great, " he thought and accelerated to an even higher speed. But then he looked in his rear-view mirror, and there was a Police Car behind him, blue lights flashing. "I can get away from him with no problem" thought the ...


1 Comments, 109 Views, 17 Votes ,6.52 Score
splinter672007 57 M
6  Articles
Workplace negotiations...   8/4/2007

The Penis

The Penis Wants a Raise

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:





1. I do physical labor

2. I work at great depths.

3. I plunge head first into everything I do.

4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

5. I work in a damp environment.

6. I work in a dark ...


5 Comments, 69 Views, 7 Votes ,1.51 Score
splinter672007 57 M
6  Articles
Customer Service Warning:   8/4/2007

BUNNINGS HARDWARE STORE SCAM ~ BEWARE

A "heads-up" for you and any of your friends who may be regular Bunnings customers. Over the last month I became the victim of a clever scam whilst out shopping. Simply going out to get hardware supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naïve enough to think it couldn't happen to you. Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good ...


3 Comments, 87 Views, 8 Votes ,4.41 Score
rockin88 54 M
10  Articles
Senior Sex !   8/4/2007

After his exam the doctor said to the elderly man, "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?" "In fact, I do, " said the old man. "After I have sex I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have it with her the second time, I am usually cold and chilly." After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said, "Everything appears to be ...


1 Comments, 176 Views, 11 Votes ,5.41 Score
sheep   8/3/2007

A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a veterinarian for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are ...


1 Comments, 112 Views, 8 Votes ,5.56 Score
screwed   8/3/2007

A traveler knocked on the door of the house where a cabdriver had told him he could be sexually accommodated. An eye-level panel slid open and a female voice asked what he wanted.

"I want to get screwed, " said the man.

"OK, mister, but this is a private club, so slip twenty bucks as an initiation fee through the mail slot, " answered the voice.

The man slid his $20 ...


1 Comments, 79 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
wishes   8/3/2007

A man was digging in his garden, when his shovel hit a hard object buried in the earth, which revealed itself to be an old bottle sealed with a cork. The man wrenched the cork free and, to his astonishment, there was a cloud of smoke and a clap of thunder. Standing before him was a genie.

"As a reward for freeing me, I shall grant you three wishes, " said the genie, "But understand, ...


1 Comments, 72 Views, 4 Votes ,1.30 Score
manners in bed   8/3/2007

The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband's lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely.

"I demand proper manners in bed, " she declared, "just as I do at the dinner table!"

Amused by his wife's formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and climbed quietly between the sheets. "Is that better?" he asked, with a hint of a smile.

...


1 Comments, 71 Views, 4 Votes ,2.08 Score
pms   8/3/2007

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs ...


1 Comments, 28 Views, 4 Votes ,3.63 Score
mens room   8/3/2007

EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.

SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.

CROSSEYED: Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.

TIMID: Can't piss if someone's watching, flushes urinal, comes back later.

INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in sink.

CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, ...


1 Comments, 58 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
History Lesson   8/3/2007

istory Lesson > > > > This is accurate beyond dispute!! > > > > Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic > > hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer > > and > > would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter. > > > > The two most important events in all of history were the invention of >beer > > and the invention of the ...


1 Comments, 40 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
A good answer   8/3/2007

As reported earlier this week, some dirtbag who got pulled over in a routine traffic stop in Florida ended up "executing" the deputy who stopped him. The deputy was shot eight times, including once behind his right ear at close range.

Another deputy was wounded and a police killed. A statewide manhunt ensued. The low-life was found hiding in a wooded area with his gun. SWAT team officers ...


1 Comments, 38 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
stealth_fighter1 112 M
20  Articles
NYMPHOMANIAC CONVENTION   8/3/2007

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, ...


1 Comments, 62 Views, 4 Votes ,2.47 Score
The Farmer and the Cow   8/3/2007

A farmer named Clyde had a car accident., In court, the trucking company's fancy hot shot lawyer, was questioning Clyde,

"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine, '?" asked the lawyer.

Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite cow, Bessie, into the..."

I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just ...


1 Comments, 69 Views, 5 Votes ,4.12 Score
ILLYADEE 58 F
15  Articles
Subject: DICTIONARY   8/2/2007

> >DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS: >>40-ish...................................49. >>Adventurous........................Slept with everyone. >>Athletic.................................No breasts. >>Average looking.....................Moooo. >>Beautiful.............................Pathological liar. >>Emotionally Secure................On medication. ...


3 Comments, 69 Views, 5 Votes ,3.47 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Soft and Hard   8/2/2007

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your ...


1 Comments, 132 Views, 21 Votes ,6.96 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Pray hard   8/2/2007

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you are embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know, I may have a ...


1 Comments, 106 Views, 16 Votes ,5.92 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
A new way to loose weight   8/2/2007

A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. Guaranteed like heck, he thinks to himself. But lets see what they think they can do. He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 LB weight loss program. The next day there comes a knock at ...


1 Comments, 84 Views, 16 Votes ,6.21 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
The Big Race   8/2/2007

Horses in the race are:

1. Passionate Lady 2. Bare Belly 3. Silk Panties 4. Conscience 5. Jockey Shorts 6. Clean Sheets 7. Thighs 8. Big Johnson 9. Heavy Bosum 10. Merry Cherry

At the Post:

They're off! Conscience is left behind at the post. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosum is being pressured. Passionate lady is caught between Thighs and ...


1 Comments, 102 Views, 14 Votes ,5.70 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Tattoo on yer dick   8/2/2007

ELTON JOHN GOES TO A TATOOiST & SAY`S I WANT A ROLLS ROYCE TATTOED ON HIS DICK, TATOOiST SAYS "YOU'D BE BETTER OFF WITH A LANDROVER SO IT DON'T GET STUCK IN THE SHIT"


1 Comments, 112 Views, 18 Votes ,6.67 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Another joke   8/2/2007

Two women who are on their way back from a night out stop on a graveyard for a wee (as you do ladies).. one wipes herself with her knickers and throws them away, while the other uses a wreath..

Their husbands are in the pub the next evening....

Husband 1 says: i think my wife is having and affair, she came home last night with no knickers on?

Husband 2 replies: Well you ...


1 Comments, 102 Views, 22 Votes ,5.77 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
Council complaint letters   8/2/2007

Council complaint letters These are supposedly genuine clips from council complaint letters:

1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

2. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

3. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

4. I want some repairs done to my ...


1 Comments, 104 Views, 17 Votes ,6.80 Score
lovetoeatpuss656 63 M
6  Articles
redneck girlfriend   8/1/2007

How can u tell if ur girlfriend is a redneck? A: If she can chew tobacco and suck dick at the sametime and knows which one to spit, shes a redneck


1 Comments, 68 Views, 5 Votes ,3.47 Score
rm_daddywarfx 54 M
1  Article
A Ring   7/31/2007

An older gentleman walks into a jewelry store with a beautiful young lady on his arm. He asks the clerk to show him something "special". The clerk shows the man a ring, and tells him it is on sale for $5, 000. The older man says " I don't think you understand. I'm looking for something far more special than that". After this goes on for a while, the clerk finally pulls out the most gorgeous ring ...


1 Comments, 77 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
Old lady and the vibrator   7/31/2007

One day a little old lady walked into a sex shop. The young clerk couldn't help but notice her, first because she reminded him of his grandmother, and second because she was twitching violently and trembling even more than his grandmother did. "Young m-m-man' she stammered to the clerk, Do you sell v-vibrators here"? "Yes ma'am we do" he replied , a little embarrassed. "b-b-big fl-flourescent ...


3 Comments, 169 Views, 7 Votes ,2.79 Score
rm_SandMAN5980 56 C
5  Articles
Races   7/29/2007

1-----Passion-------20-1 2-----Bare Belly----5-1 3-----Conscience----99-1 4-----Heavy Bosom---8-1 5-----Cute Pussy----4-1 6-----Jockey Shorts-6-1 7-----Clean Sheets--11-1 8-----Silk Panties--10-1 9-----Thighs--------15-1 10-----Big Dick------7-1

At the post; CONSCIECE lags, HEAVY BOSOM rises, BIG DICK is acting up, and CUTE PUSSY is smiling at ...


1 Comments, 75 Views, 5 Votes ,4.12 Score
The difference   7/28/2007

Question: What is the difference between a slut and a bitch?

Answer: A slut does everyone, a bitch does everyone except for you!


1 Comments, 68 Views, 4 Votes ,2.08 Score
Wise Old Indian Chief   7/27/2007

Indian Chief, "Two Eagles, " was asked by a white government official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years.





You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."

The Chief nodded in agreement. The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?" ...


1 Comments, 141 Views, 7 Votes ,4.57 Score
Another blonde joke   7/27/2007

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups. The doctor asked the redhead "In what position was the baby conceived?" "I was on the bottom!" she replied. "You will have a boy" the doctor said. The brunette was asked the same question. "I was on top" was the reply. "You will have a girl" said the doctor. With this the blonde broke out in tears. "Whats the ...


1 Comments, 128 Views, 6 Votes ,3.65 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
It keeps happening   7/26/2007

>> >> YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID These people prove it is a terminal condition. As >> always, competition this year has been keen. The candidates this year >> are... >> >> >> Eighth Place In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in >> two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide >> sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. >> >> Seventh Place A 49-year-old San ...


1 Comments, 99 Views, 2 Votes ,1.73 Score
Swankie57 65 M
50  Articles
Flat Belly   7/26/2007

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her and quickly dismounts, worried about what her has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"

The mother replies, "Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on ...



2 Comments, 166 Views, 10 Votes ,4.58 Score
rm_SandMAN5980 56 C
5  Articles
The Trainee Priest   7/26/2007

Father Frank, the trainee priest, has been left in charge of the daily confessioal by Father Ernest who gave him a list of sins and their appropriate absolutions. "Forgive me Father, " says the first sinner. "For I have stolen." Father Frank consults his list. For stealing you must say 7 Hail Mary's." The second sinner confesses to lying and after looking it up on his list Father Frank deals out ...


2 Comments, 161 Views, 15 Votes ,3.74 Score
funplay4couple 60 C
2  Articles
Why do Basketball players make crummy lovers?   7/25/2007

LOL.. I love this one because my husband plays in a couple of basketball leagues during the winter...

So... Why do Basketball players make crummy lovers???



Because they dribble before they shoot!!!


2 Comments, 178 Views, 8 Votes ,3.01 Score
bigmel1963 55 M
17  Articles
a new couple   7/24/2007

a guy and gal date for a year, but they both agree not to have sex til they are married, well the year goes by and soon they are to wed. the few minutes before the wedding she confesses that the breasts he has not seen are just padding, she was flat as a board. he tells her that's ok hun breasts are not the important thing, I love you. then he says I have a confession to make also, I am hung like ...


1 Comments, 118 Views, 7 Votes ,2.79 Score
Cock_Thruster 62 M
60  Articles
Honeymooners   7/24/2007

The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.

He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."

The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."

He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in the ...



1 Comments, 146 Views, 14 Votes ,4.74 Score
Cock_Thruster 62 M
60  Articles
Kentucky fried chicken   7/24/2007

Q. Why are women like Kentucky Fried Chicken? A. After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in....


1 Comments, 39 Views, 12 Votes ,4.04 Score
Cock_Thruster 62 M
60  Articles
Oral sex & Anal sex   7/24/2007

Q. What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak....


1 Comments, 68 Views, 12 Votes ,4.74 Score
Cock_Thruster 62 M
60  Articles
Bungee Jumping & Hookers   7/24/2007

Q. What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common? A. They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed....


1 Comments, 24 Views, 10 Votes ,4.38 Score
Cock_Thruster 62 M
60  Articles
Wonder Bra   7/24/2007

Q. Why is it called a Wonder Bra? A. When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went....


1 Comments, 28 Views, 10 Votes ,4.58 Score
Cock_Thruster 62 M
60  Articles
Yankee   7/24/2007

Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself....


1 Comments, 21 Views, 11 Votes ,4.48 Score
Cock_Thruster 62 M
60  Articles
Why men die first.   7/24/2007

Q. Why do men die before their wives? A. They want to....


1 Comments, 40 Views, 10 Votes ,4.78 Score
Cock_Thruster 62 M
60  Articles
How to make your wife scream!   7/24/2007

Q. How do you make your wife scream while having sex? A. Call her and tell her....


1 Comments, 87 Views, 12 Votes ,4.04 Score
Cock_Thruster 62 M
60  Articles
Thanksgiving   7/24/2007

Q. What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys? A. We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving....


1 Comments, 20 Views, 11 Votes ,4.48 Score
Cock_Thruster 62 M
60  Articles
Lesbian Frogs   7/24/2007

Q. What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other? A. WE DO TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!...


1 Comments, 16 Views, 9 Votes ,4.71 Score
Cock_Thruster 62 M
60  Articles
Whats the difference   7/24/2007

Q. What's the difference between a wife and a wheelie bin? A. You only have to take out a wheelie bin once a week....


1 Comments, 16 Views, 10 Votes ,4.58 Score
Cock_Thruster 62 M
60  Articles
Which is Worse?   7/24/2007

Q. What's worse than getting by Jack the Ripper? A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook....


1 Comments, 20 Views, 10 Votes ,4.58 Score
Cock_Thruster 62 M
60  Articles
Odd one out   7/24/2007

Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob? A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob....


1 Comments, 16 Views, 11 Votes ,4.10 Score
Cock_Thruster 62 M
60  Articles
Washing Machine   7/24/2007

Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine? A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later....


1 Comments, 21 Views, 8 Votes ,5.10 Score
Cock_Thruster 62 M
60  Articles
Rubics Cube   7/24/2007

Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common? A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get....


1 Comments, 17 Views, 7 Votes ,5.59 Score
Cock_Thruster 62 M
60  Articles
Penis & Bonus   7/24/2007

Whats the difference between a penis and a bonus? your wife will always blow your bonus!...


1 Comments, 24 Views, 8 Votes ,5.80 Score
ed_rush2004 49 M
47  Articles
topic of the day:letter to an ex husband (funny as fuck)   7/23/2007

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today & that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home & didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your ...


4 Comments, 207 Views, 24 Votes ,6.65 Score
rm_ne_charlie4 52 M
1  Article
THIEVES AT WORK   7/23/2007

Two men are robbing a hotel. "I hear sirens. Jump!" says the first one. "But we're on the 13th floor!" his fellow thief replies. "This is no time to be superstitious!"


1 Comments, 71 Views, 7 Votes ,1.77 Score
stuttering   7/22/2007

A man with a stuttering problem tries everything he can to stop stuttering, but he can't. Finally, he goes to a world renowned doctor for help. The doctor examines him and says "I've found your problem. Your penis is 12 inches long. It weighs so much it is pulling on your lungs, causing you to stutter." So the man asks, "What's he cure, doctor?". To which the doctor replies, "We have to cut off 6 ...


1 Comments, 63 Views, 4 Votes ,2.86 Score
sex ed   7/22/2007

Little Johnny was sitting in Beginning Sex Ed class one day when the teacher drew a picture of a penis on the board. "Does anyone know what this is?" She asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sure, my daddy has two of them!" "Two of them?!" the teacher asked. "Yeah. He has a little one that he uses to pee with and a big one that he uses to brush mommy's teeth!"


1 Comments, 117 Views, 7 Votes ,3.30 Score
plane crash   7/22/2007

Five people are on a plane, four guys and one girl. Suddenly the engine stalls and they crash. Miraculously all five of them survive the crash but are stranded on a small deserted island. Since these four guys will need to have their natural urges satisfied, they decided to make up a schedule. Each guy would get a week to dick the woman as much as possible, the next week another guy and so on. ...


1 Comments, 89 Views, 6 Votes ,1.94 Score
teacher   7/22/2007

The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words. She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the examples of words with more than one syllable. "Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words?" After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. "Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon......day. Does anyone know another word?" Johnny from the back of the room ...


1 Comments, 70 Views, 7 Votes ,3.55 Score
rockin88 54 M
10  Articles
Ghost Sex   7/21/2007

A professor at the University of Alabama was giving a lecture of the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"

About 90 students raise their hands "Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?"

About 40 students raise their hands. "That's really good. I'm ...


7 Comments, 204 Views, 11 Votes ,4.85 Score
Cock_Thruster 62 M
60  Articles
The ages of a woman.   7/21/2007

1. Between the ages of 16 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored.

2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic.

3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources.

4. Between the ages of 46 and 56, she is like Europe, exhausted but still has ...



1 Comments, 92 Views, 11 Votes ,4.48 Score
Cock_Thruster 62 M
60  Articles
Make me feel like a WOMAN!!!   7/21/2007

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of ...


1 Comments, 95 Views, 14 Votes ,4.74 Score