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why did the chicken cross the playground... 12/27/2017
to get to the other slide....lololol
1 Comments, 18 Views,
10 Votes
,1.39 Score
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mike 12/27/2017
Little mike was sitting on a park bench munching away from a big box of chocolates. <br><br>
<br><br>
An older man, sitting on the bench across the way, says "Y'know,
, if you keep eating those chocolates that way you're
going to get fat, and acne, and bad teeth". <br><br>
<br><br>
Little mike says "Y'know, sir, my ...
2 Comments, 58 Views,
7 Votes
,3.04 Score
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Stop Masturbating 12/25/2017
A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked. "You need to stop masturbating so much, " the
optometrist says. "Why?" asks the man. "Is it going to make
me go blind?" The optometrist looks around and says "no, but it's
making the other patients very uncomfortable."
1 Comments, 45 Views,
20 Votes
,5.55 Score
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Little Sally 12/25/2017
Little Sally came home from school with a proud smile on
her face. She told her mom, "Frankie Brown showed me his willy
today." Before mom could raise a concern sally said, "It reminded
me of a peanut..." With a secret smile mom asked, "Was it really small?"
Sally replied, "No... really salty!
2 Comments, 49 Views,
19 Votes
,6.03 Score
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pregnancy success 12/25/2017
Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many
times you got fucked to achieve it!!
1 Comments, 29 Views,
13 Votes
,5.16 Score
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Ice Cream Challenge 12/24/2017
There was this new ice cream parlor in my neighborhood,
and they put up this sign, "We have ANY flavor of ice
cream!" Well, I couldn't walk by that store too
many times before taking up a challenge like that. <br><br>
So I go in and ask, "You got any pussy flavored ice cream?"
And the guy smiles and hands over a sample scoop of pussy-flavored
ice cream. ...
0 Comments, 68 Views,
12 Votes
,4.74 Score
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magic dildo 12/19/2017
One day a sexually unsatisfied wife went into a porn store.
She told that man behind the counter that her husband just
couldn't get her to orgasm and wans't very pleasing
at all. The man suggested toys, dildos, and viberators. Apparently
she had already tried all those things and they still didn't
work. The man went to the back of the store and came back holding
an old wooden box. ...
1 Comments, 90 Views,
17 Votes
,4.40 Score
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Payback 12/18/2017
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said
to his wife, “Perhaps we should start washing your clothes
in ‘Slim Fast’. Maybe it would take a few inches off
of your butt!” <br><br>
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simple could
not let such a comment go unrewarded. <br><br>
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out
of his ...
0 Comments, 79 Views,
14 Votes
,3.62 Score
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SNOW!! 12/15/2017
What do you a snowman in the Sahara ...
1 Comments, 52 Views,
8 Votes
,2.78 Score
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Medieval Times 12/13/2017
In days of old When knight were bold And rubbers weren't invented. They stuck a sock Around their cock And babies were prevented.!
4 Comments, 46 Views,
14 Votes
,2.66 Score
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Old lady in a pawn shop 12/11/2017
So there's this old lady visiting a pawn shop looking
for antiques. As she is walking around there's a parrot
at the front desk that keeps mouthing off at her, calling
her a cunt and an old bitch, etc. After 4 or 5 times walking
by and being offended, she asks the clerk how much for the
parrot. Shocked, the clerk warns her that the previous
owner had taught the bird pretty much only ...
1 Comments, 84 Views,
12 Votes
,3.68 Score
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Old lady in a pawn shop 12/11/2017
So there's this old lady visiting a pawn shop looking
for antiques. As she is walking around there's a parrot
at the front desk that keeps mouthing off at her, calling
her a cunt and an old bitch, etc. After 4 or 5 times walking
by and being offended, she asks the clerk how much for the
parrot. Shocked, the clerk warns her that the previous
owner had taught the bird pretty much only ...
0 Comments, 13 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
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Old lady in a pawn shop 12/11/2017
So there's this old lady visiting a pawn shop looking
for antiques. As she is walking around there's a parrot
at the front desk that keeps mouthing off at her, calling
her a cunt and an old bitch, etc. After 4 or 5 times walking
by and being offended, she asks the clerk how much for the
parrot. Shocked, the clerk warns her that the previous
owner had taught the bird pretty much only ...
0 Comments, 14 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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Mickey/Minnie divorce 12/10/2017
Mickey and Minnie are sitting in divorce court. The judge
is flipping through the paperwork and says: "Mickey,
I don't usually ask questions like this but you guys
are such a high profile couple, I have to know; it says here
that you're divorcing Minnie because she's weird.
Can you explain?" Mickey looks up at the judge and says: I didn't say she
was weird, I said ...
0 Comments, 60 Views,
12 Votes
,4.92 Score
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What's the difference.... 12/10/2017
Q:What's the difference between three cocks and a
joke? A:Your mom can't take a joke!
0 Comments, 5 Views,
5 Votes
,1.19 Score
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What's the difference.... 12/10/2017
Q:What's the difference between three cocks and a
joke? A:Your mom can't take a joke!
1 Comments, 11 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Good Jokes or bad 12/10/2017
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball <br><br>
What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Beat it. We’re closed. <br><br>
Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor. <br><br>
Why does ...
1 Comments, 23 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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Good Jokes or bad 12/10/2017
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball <br><br>
What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Beat it. We’re closed. <br><br>
Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor. <br><br>
Why does ...
1 Comments, 9 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
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Please Be Considerate 12/8/2017
Can I just ask every for a big favor? Those of you who are
planning to place Christmas lights in their yards, can
you please avoid anything that is red or blue and flashing?
Every time I drive, I think it's the police and get panic
attacks. I have to take my foot off the accelerator, toss
my wine, fasten my seat belt, throw my ph on the floor,
and push the gun under the seat. It's a big ...
0 Comments, 34 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score
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The Board Meeting 12/7/2017
All the members of the company's Board of Directors
were ed into the Chairman's office, after
another, until only Ted, the junior member, was left sitting
outside.Finally it was his turn to be summd. Ted entered
the office to find the Chairman and the other Directors
seated at the far end of the boardroom table.Ted was instructed
to stand at the other end of the table, which he did. ...
1 Comments, 81 Views,
12 Votes
,4.04 Score
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pen 12/1/2017
As a nurse working in a busy hospital I am always losing my
pens. I got into the habit of sticking pens behind my ear
so I didn't lose them as quickly. day I reached up
for my pen and lo and behold I had a rectal thermometer behind
my ear! I nearly had a nervous breakdown when I stated, "Some
asshole has my pen!"
2 Comments, 39 Views,
11 Votes
,3.54 Score
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Postive Attitude 11/30/2017
A Navy fighter pilot during an aerial skirmish over North
Vietnam got tagged by a surface to air missile. The panel
lights up with a myriad of warning signals and s for
an immediate ejection. The pilot fighting for coniousness
manages to arm the ejection system and exits the aircraft.
Upon regaining coniousness he finds himself in a hospital’s
ICU with tubes stuck in most of his body orifices, ...
3 Comments, 109 Views,
20 Votes
,4.53 Score
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Senior Logic 11/30/2017
I went to the liquor store this afternoon on my bicycle and
bought a bottle of Irish whisky. I put it in the bicycle basket.
As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell
off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank the bottle
before I cycled home. It turned out to be a very good decision
because I fell off my bicycle times on the way home!
0 Comments, 34 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score
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pay attention 11/30/2017
Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever
listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have
to say. Doctor: Next please!
0 Comments, 22 Views,
9 Votes
,2.36 Score
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broken finger 11/30/2017
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever
I touch, it hurts." The doctor asks, "What do you mean?" The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really
hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead,
it really, really hurts." The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you
- you've broken your finger!"
0 Comments, 22 Views,
10 Votes
,2.79 Score
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funny 11/29/2017
what did the hen say to the postidude my cock bigger lol
0 Comments, 8 Views,
4 Votes
,1.30 Score
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The Number Two Pencil 11/28/2017
Carol was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually
she slept through class. One day her teacher, a Nun, called
on her while she was sleeping in class. 'Tell me Carol,
who created the universe?' When Carol didn't
stir, but little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind
her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear. 'God
Almighty!' shouted Carol. The Nun said, ...
0 Comments, 61 Views,
13 Votes
,5.49 Score
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funny 11/27/2017
knock knock who there dr who how did u guess lol
0 Comments, 8 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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adult jokes 11/24/2017
Adults jokes create a gud humur and if you are telling these
dirty jokes to a girl some times they feel very shy or sometime
very bold what they think internaly or they also want to listen these type of jokes ?
1 Comments, 18 Views,
8 Votes
,2.55 Score
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funny 11/20/2017
what did the banana say to the vibatior why are you shaking
shrs going to eat me
1 Comments, 15 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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