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Red Indian Boy 1/29/2018
One morning a little red indian boy asks his dad 'Where
Do I get my name from Dad?' His Father replies 'Well
, look at Little River over there. When he was born his
father stepped out of his teepee and the first thing he saw
was a little river running passed his teepee, so he named
his Little River'. 'Silver Cloud over their
was named so because when he was born his father ...
0 Comments, 55 Views,
6 Votes
,2.80 Score
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Girlfiends parents 1/29/2018
A young lad sees an ad in the paper for bike. He goes and has
a look. Its about 10 old but is in perfect condition.
The boy asks the seller how do you keep the crome so clean.
The seller says 'Always put vasoline on it before it
rains'. The boy buys the bike and is as pleased as punch.
That night he goes over to see his new girlfriend and meets
her parents for the first time. His ...
0 Comments, 95 Views,
17 Votes
,5.95 Score
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Drunk Oral 1/29/2018
Coming home from the pub drunk a guy fancies giving his wife
oral sex before going to sleep, so he slowly and quietly
walks in to the bedroom. slips under the duvet from the bottom
of the bed and starts to lick the pussy. After a while she
starts moaning and wriggling like never before, eventually
she climaxes and he thinks to himself 'God I was good
tonight' Wanting to brush his teeth ...
1 Comments, 81 Views,
10 Votes
,4.38 Score
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At the Cinema 1/29/2018
I was at the cinema the other night with my girlfriend when she nudged me and said the man next to here was having
a wank. I told her to ignore him and watch the film. But she
said 'I can't he's using my hand!!'
0 Comments, 40 Views,
6 Votes
,4.50 Score
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Naughty Girls 1/29/2018
A group of girls were killed in a bus accident and find themselves
outside the pearly gates with St Peter. St Peter says 'Lisa
do you know what a penis is'? 'Yes' says lisa
'I touch one once on its head'. 'ok' says
Peter 'put the finger you touched it with in the font
of holy water and you may enter'. Lisa obliged and went
through the gates. Next was Sally. ...
0 Comments, 52 Views,
6 Votes
,3.93 Score
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Condoms 1/26/2018
The other day while shopping for flavored condoms I came
across some condoms with ribs. What a rip off! When I gave
the blow job, those ribs tasted NOTHING like BBQ ribs! Crazy!
0 Comments, 20 Views,
10 Votes
,1.79 Score
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Do You Golf? 1/26/2018
A Minister, a Bishop and a Rabbi were playing golf, when
one of the caddys asked a question that got them thinking and how to respond.
"How do you decide what to give and what to keep....
? <br><br>
They answered this way it is the 10 / 10 / 100 percent rule...
This caused a big debate on how to apply it.... The Bishop
said I draw a circle inside a circle and stand outside this ...
1 Comments, 59 Views,
6 Votes
,2.51 Score
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I have a joke 1/25/2018
What do you call a joke you wear around your neck? <br><br>
A pundant!
2 Comments, 22 Views,
12 Votes
,1.21 Score
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The Barber 1/24/2018
A guy sticks his head into a barbershop and asked: "How
long before I can get a haircut?" <br><br>
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and
said: "About 2 hours." <br><br>
The guy left. <br><br>
A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and
asked: "How long before I can get a haircut?" ...
1 Comments, 48 Views,
10 Votes
,4.58 Score
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Email 1/23/2018
Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 33, looking
for some action!" I've sent her my ironing, that'll
keep her busy.
0 Comments, 13 Views,
9 Votes
,2.78 Score
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. 1/23/2018
Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 33, looking
for some action!" I've sent her my ironing, that'll
keep her busy.
0 Comments, 5 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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I farted in a lift once 1/23/2018
It was wrong on so many levels 
0 Comments, 17 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
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Mormon Cowboy 1/22/2018
One day, a cowboy and his wife, from Texas, recently relocated
to Utah. This cowboy finds his local watering hole, has
a seat and orders three beers. After several visits, and
ordering three beers, he gets to know some of the regulars.
One day, the bartender asks, "Why do you always order
three beer?" The cowboy responds, "You see, I have a brother in
the Army stationed in Iraq ...
0 Comments, 67 Views,
8 Votes
,4.64 Score
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A Barbie from Santa 1/20/2018
A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn,
she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, 'What
would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas'? <br><br>
The little girl replies, 'I want a Barbie and G.I. Joe'.
<br><br>
Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, 'I
thought Barbie comes with Ken'. <br><br> ...
0 Comments, 60 Views,
11 Votes
,3.54 Score
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Athlete of the Year 1/20/2018
Not really a joke.. but it really is.. <br><br>
Did you hear about this athlete? <br><br>
He was so fast he won first and third place in a jack off contest!!! <br><br>
Lol. [ had to be a young man ]...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
10 Votes
,3.19 Score
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YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A PILOT TO FLY IN THE ROYAL AIR FORCE 1/12/2018
.... said their recruitment banner. <br><br>
So you can imagine my utter shock and indignation of being
forcibly frogmarched (at gunpoint no less!) from the cockpit
of one of their Euro-fighter Typhoons before I could work
out how to start the engine....
0 Comments, 36 Views,
6 Votes
,1.37 Score
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Failing to stop for the police 1/11/2018
Driving home a man sees a police car behind him put on his
blue lights and he floors it, hoping to get away. His car
is fast but after a few miles realises he just isn't
going to shake his pursuer and finally yields. <br><br>
The police officer wearily walks over to the stopped vehicle
and tells the driver. "I've had a long day, there's
a mere 5 minutes before my ...
1 Comments, 89 Views,
17 Votes
,6.10 Score
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Pretty funny 1/9/2018
A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket
and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket.
Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" <br><br>
The woman looked puzzled. "Why do you want to talk
to me?" she asked. <br><br>
"Because every time I talk to a woman with beautiful
tits like yours, my wife appears out of ...
4 Comments, 60 Views,
15 Votes
,4.36 Score
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A funny one 1/9/2018
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E and F are the letters
used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't
figure out what the letters stood for... It is about time
you became informed: <br><br>
A ... Almost Boobs B ... Barely there. C ... Can't Complain! D ... Damn! DD... Double damn! E ... Enormous! F ... Fake
2 Comments, 26 Views,
11 Votes
,3.17 Score
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Humor for the day 1/9/2018
This morning I was beaten up by a big breasted woman in an
elevator. <br><br>
I was staring at her boobs when she said, "Would you
please press 1, please?" <br><br>
So I did. <br><br>
I don't remember much after that.
0 Comments, 25 Views,
11 Votes
,5.04 Score
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Boob time 1/9/2018
I was telling a girl I met in a bar last night about my uncanny
ability to guess the day a woman was born on just by feeling
her boobs. <br><br>
"Really?" she said. "Go on then... Try."
<br><br>
After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.
<br><br>
"Come on, " she demanded, "What day was
I born on?" ...
1 Comments, 50 Views,
9 Votes
,4.49 Score
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Size matters 1/5/2018
As I dropped my trousers and slid my boxers down she exclaimed
"Ere, ain't you got a small organ" <br><br>
I looked up at her, spread-eagled and without breaking
my stride replied "I didn't realise I was expected
to play in a Cathedral" <br><br>
-------- <br><br>
She asked "and who do you think you're going to
please with ...
2 Comments, 88 Views,
13 Votes
,3.14 Score
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How Adam Got Eve 1/4/2018
Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling very
lly. <br><br>
So, God asked him, “What's wrong with you?” <br><br>
Adam said he didn't have any to talk to. <br><br>
God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that
it would be a woman. <br><br>
He said, “This pretty lady will gather food for you, she
will cook for ...
3 Comments, 66 Views,
13 Votes
,4.49 Score
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funny 1/3/2018
what did the postitude say to the rooster any cock will do
lol
6 Comments, 30 Views,
16 Votes
,0.04 Score
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Why doesn’t Santa Claus have ? 1/3/2018
He only comes once a year.
1 Comments, 17 Views,
11 Votes
,2.05 Score
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Doctor Who 1/1/2018
There was a soldier in Nam that was famous for his socializing.
After about a year, he noticed a problem with his friend
and went in for a checkup. They had never seen anything quite
like the problem he had, but treated him with the usual meds
for social diseases. After the usual amount of time, they
noticed that the problem had not g away, but had gotten
worse. They decided to send him to a ...
0 Comments, 69 Views,
11 Votes
,3.17 Score
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Looney Tunes 12/30/2017
Q: What do you call a rabbit with a crooked dick? <br><br>
A: Fucks Funny
0 Comments, 12 Views,
9 Votes
,1.07 Score
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Frank and Wally 12/29/2017
Two hobos, Frank and Wally were walking through the rail
yard one morning when Frank said "Yesterday was a
lucky day for me. I found a $20 bill laying on the ground by
the tracks." Then Wally said "That is lucky but not near as lucky
as I was last week. I was walking down the tracks and saw a
woman tied to the tracks. So of course, I untied her and then
we proceeded to make love ...
4 Comments, 93 Views,
20 Votes
,3.64 Score
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Sex at 79 12/28/2017
I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that
I can have sex at 79. I'm so happy, because I live at number
71. So it's not too far to walk home afterwards. And it's even on the same side of the street. I don't
even have to cross the road!
0 Comments, 31 Views,
13 Votes
,2.98 Score
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Senior Dating 12/27/2017
Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are
talking: <br><br>
Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for
a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted
to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."
<br><br>
Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment
punctually at 7 pm, dressed like such a gentleman ...
1 Comments, 75 Views,
13 Votes
,2.98 Score
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