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I love blonde jokes 12/17/2016
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her
ears burnt. The doctor ask's her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit
the phone rang and I mistakanly picked up the iron instead
of the phone. "Well that explains one ear, but what
about the other." "The bastard called again"
2 Comments, 40 Views,
6 Votes
,5.36 Score
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Indian on horseback 12/15/2016
A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of
Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback
came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed
up behind him on the and they rode off. The ride was
uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would
let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a' so loud that it echoed
from the surrounding hills and canyon ...
2 Comments, 138 Views,
9 Votes
,4.71 Score
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Ornaments 12/11/2016
Do you know why ornaments are addicted to christmas?
They are hooked on trees
1 Comments, 14 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
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It's a Joke 2 12/8/2016
Its important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks, cleans
and has a job. Its important to have a woman who can make you laugh. Its important to have a woman you can trust and who would
never lie. Its important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes
being with you. Its absolutely important that these four women never meet.
3 Comments, 46 Views,
6 Votes
,4.79 Score
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It's a Joke 12/8/2016
A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door.
It is opened by a little ten year-old boy who has a lighted
cigar in one hand, a glass of whiskey in the other and a Penthouse magazine
tucked under his arm.
Salesman: "Hello . Is your mom or dad home ?"
Little boy: "What the fuck do you think?"
1 Comments, 63 Views,
10 Votes
,5.38 Score
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A Love Story 12/3/2016
A man was lying in bed with his new girl friend. After having
great sex she spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles.
This was something he loved having done.
As he was enjoying it he turned to her and asked, “Why do
you like doing this so much?”
She replied, “Because I miss mine so much!”
I TOLD YOU IT WAS A LOVE STORY!!!!
2 Comments, 59 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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Advice for an old guy.... 12/3/2016
He was working out at the gym when he spotted a sweet young
thing walking in....
He asked the trainer standing next to him, "What machine
should I use to impress that lady over there?"
The trainer looked him over and said; "I would recommend
the ATM in the lobby."
2 Comments, 52 Views,
8 Votes
,4.64 Score
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a little humor 11/30/2016
A man is working a a dildo store, when a brunette walks in.
She asks him how much for the black dildo? He replies $50
for the black one, $50 for the white one. She leaves without
purchasing anything. A red head walks in and asks him how
much for the white dildo? He replies $50 for the white one,
$50 for the black one. she doesn't buy anything. A blonde
enters the store and asks him how much for a ...
1 Comments, 129 Views,
8 Votes
,5.10 Score
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Oldie but a goodie.... 11/23/2016
A man and a woman were sitting beside each other
in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed,
took out a tissue, wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered
for ten to fifteen seconds.
The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the
woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, and
then shuddered violently once more.
Assuming that the woman ...
9 Comments, 277 Views,
34 Votes
,6.74 Score
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Tree or a bush...???? 11/18/2016
What's the difference between a genealogist and a
gynecologist? A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist
looks up the family bush.....
2 Comments, 40 Views,
9 Votes
,3.00 Score
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Glazed donuts...???... 11/18/2016
Q: Who's the most popular male at a nudist colony?
A: The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen
doughnuts.....
2 Comments, 30 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score
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Ah....Oh....!!!... 11/17/2016
The doc told a guy that masturbating before sex often helped
men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What
the hell, I'll try it, " He spent the rest of the
day thinking about where to do it before he got home to his
wife. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about
the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley,
but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he realized ...
3 Comments, 157 Views,
16 Votes
,5.04 Score
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Buzzzzzz..... 11/17/2016
SEX JOKESSUBMIT A JOKE!
Category
A guy takes his girlfriend to his bedroom, drops his pants,
and says, "Meet my little brother." The girlfriend
picks up her purse on the way out and says, "Call me
when he grows up."
dkfg
285 64
Q: Why is Cinderella still a virgin? A: Because she runs away from all the balls.
cool boi
281 97 ...
2 Comments, 62 Views,
10 Votes
,5.97 Score
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The Test 11/14/2016
I went to my nearby CVS Pharmacy, straight to the back, where
the Pharmacists’ high counter is located. I took out my little brown bottle, along with a teaspoon,
and set them up on the counter.
The Pharmacist came over, smiled, and asked if he could
help me. I said, "Yes! Could you please taste this
for me?"
Seeing a senior citizen, the Pharmacist went along. He
took the ...
2 Comments, 166 Views,
11 Votes
,3.54 Score
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laugh 11/13/2016
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex!
Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!"
Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629.
2 Comments, 69 Views,
12 Votes
,2.80 Score
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Nantucket 11/9/2016
There once was a man from Nantucket who's dick was so
long he could suck it. He smiled with a grin ad he looks down
his chin. If his ear was a cunt he would fuck it.
2 Comments, 26 Views,
6 Votes
,2.80 Score
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Funny haha 11/9/2016
I'm not racist but joke is lol. A black guy walks down
the beach where he comes across a magic lamp. So he rubs.
Sure enough a genie popped out. But since the genie is racist
he tells the man u can have two instead of 3 wishes. The man
thought fora second and snapped his fingers I got it. I wish
I was white an surrounded by pussy an the genie went bam an
turned him into a tampon lol. Not racist ...
1 Comments, 43 Views,
6 Votes
,3.93 Score
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Funny haha 11/9/2016
I'm not racist but joke is lol. A black guy walks down
the beach where he comes across a magic lamp. So he rubs.
Sure enough a genie popped out. But since the genie is racist
he tells the man u can have two instead of 3 wishes. The man
thought fora second and snapped his fingers I got it. I wish
I was white an surrounded by pussy an the genie went bam an
turned him into a tampon lol. Not racist ...
2 Comments, 25 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
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A Penis Study 11/8/2016
In 1991, Duke University funded a study to see why the head
of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one
year and $180, 000.00, they concluded that the reason
the head was larger than the shaft was to give the Man more
pleasure during sex. After Duke published the study, Stanford
decided to do their own study. After three years of research
and $250, 000.00, they concluded that the reason ...
0 Comments, 114 Views,
9 Votes
,4.28 Score
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the gr8 rulers 10/24/2016
The 3 kings that still rule this world since eternity:
1. Suc KING (sucking)
2. Lic KING (licking)
3. Fuc KING (fucking) no one can dethrone them....lol
1 Comments, 24 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
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Nuns and the bus 10/23/2016
A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive
at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says
to them "Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I
will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may
do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please
form a single-file line." And they do so. St. Peter
turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her ...
2 Comments, 151 Views,
10 Votes
,4.98 Score
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smart !! 10/21/2016
mother: "... who is the 40th president of America?"
: " I dont know mom."
Mother: " its Sir Ronald Regan ....(after consfiscating
the new game console)you have to put away the games and concentrate
on your studies"
30 minutes later ,
: " mom, i have a question for you?"
Mom: " what is it ?"
: " who is Ms. Betty Winkler?"
Mom: " i dont ...
2 Comments, 163 Views,
14 Votes
,4.10 Score
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Another vote for the Don 10/14/2016
Monica Lowinski is voting for Trump. She said the last Clinton
in office left a bad taste in her mouth.
3 Comments, 49 Views,
8 Votes
,3.94 Score
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Spanish Magician 10/14/2016
A Spanish magician was ending his show and said, "On
the count of three I will disappear. Uno, dos -" then
*poof!* he disappeared without a tres.
3 Comments, 84 Views,
15 Votes
,3.44 Score
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Presidentsn Penis 10/12/2016
The wives of four presidents and prime minister are talking
together about how a penis is called in their language.
The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman,
because it stands up when women are entering.
The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a patriot,
because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on
the back side.
The ...
1 Comments, 132 Views,
10 Votes
,5.38 Score
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kings n happiness 10/12/2016
Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great
kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's
lives?"
Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.
1 Comments, 45 Views,
6 Votes
,4.79 Score
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speech problem 10/12/2016
Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at
the local bar, when one said to the other: "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer
me honestly?" "Yeah, sure thing, " replied his friend, "fire
away." "Well, " said the first guy, "why do you
think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?"
"It's probably because of her speech impediment,
" replied the second guy. ...
3 Comments, 132 Views,
8 Votes
,4.64 Score
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permanent erection 10/12/2016
A man walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was
the pharmacist and as she and her also single sister owned
the store, there were no males employed there. The woman pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional
and whatever it was that he needed to discuss. The man agreed
and began by saying, "This is tough for me ...
2 Comments, 131 Views,
9 Votes
,5.14 Score
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Japanese Pussy Hair 10/12/2016
Q: Did you hear that Japanese girls only have hair on one
side of their pussy? A: Yeah, on the outSIDE 
2 Comments, 27 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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a few good oneliners 10/11/2016
Why did God create orgasms? So women can moan even when they're happy.
Do you know why women fake orgasms? Because men fake foreplay.
What do girls and noodles have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
Why do women fake orgasms ? Because they think men care.
Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms.
1 Comments, 36 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score
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