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...always these questions... 1/16/2017
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when
her walks in. “Mother, where do babies come
from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well
dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night
they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.”
The looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That
means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s ...
3 Comments, 124 Views,
9 Votes
,4.07 Score |
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Little Johnny....again 1/15/2017
A teacher asks the class to name things that end with 'tor'
that eat things.
The first little boy says, "Alligator."
"Very good, that's a big word."
The second boy says, "Predator."
"Yes, that's another big word. Well done.”
Little Johnny says, "Vibrator"
After nearly falling off her chair, she says, "That
is a big word, but it doesn't eat ...
4 Comments, 131 Views,
14 Votes
,4.74 Score |
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Just Like Frank 1/14/2017
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going
by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect
timing. You're just like Frank."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything
right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed
a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every
single time."
Passenger: "There are ...
3 Comments, 115 Views,
13 Votes
,4.65 Score |
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Circus 1/14/2017
Did you hear about the circus orgy? It was fucking in tents!
1 Comments, 6 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score |
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A joke 1/13/2017
Why do lesbians only shop at Sports Authority?
....... They don't like Dicks
1 Comments, 10 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score |
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...insurance... 1/10/2017
The Queen visits a new hospital... She is shown around first by a nurse so she can inspect the
facilities.
On her way, she hears orgasmic groans coming from a nearby
room.
She goes to the room to investigate and, upon arriving,
finds that a man is masturbating on the bed.
She asks the nurse "Why is that man doing that?"
The nurse replies "Oh, he's got to ...
4 Comments, 96 Views,
9 Votes
,3.85 Score |
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Even more funny ones 1/9/2017
Q: Why is being in the military like a blow-job? A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Q: What do you call a guy who cries while he masturbates?
A: A tearjerker.
Q: How can you tell which is the head nurse? A: She's the one with the dirty knees.
Q: Which of the following words does not belong: meat, eggs,
wife, blowjob. A: Blowjob. You can beat your ...
2 Comments, 32 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score |
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Hair 1/8/2017
Their is no justice in this world as you have lee hair to comb
you have more face to wash
1 Comments, 12 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score |
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old men 1/8/2017
what is the difference between a sexy senior citizen and
a dirty old man?
There is none
2 Comments, 27 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score |
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Dogs and Puppies 1/7/2017
A little boy and his mother are at the airport going to see
his grandmother. The little boy is looking out the window
and turns to his mom and says " mommy is cows have calves
and dogs have puppies how come planes dont that little planes"
His mother says " I dont know, you will have to ask the
stewardess when we get to our seats".
They board the plane and get to their seats and the ...
3 Comments, 164 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score |
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Funny 1/6/2017
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re
nuts.
2 Comments, 12 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score |
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redneck vacation 1/6/2017
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy
Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout
ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it
a little different. The last few years, I took your advice
about where to go. THREE YEARS AGO, YOU SAID TO GO TO HAWAII. I WENT TO HAWAII
AND EARLENE GOT PREGNANT. THEN TWO YEARS AGO, YOU TOLD ME TO GO TO THE BAHAMAS, AND EARLENE
GOT ...
5 Comments, 102 Views,
11 Votes
,5.04 Score |
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on the edge 1/5/2017
A guy is hiking up a mountain when he sees a girl standing
at the edge of a cliff, crying. "Hey, " he says,
"if you're going to jump, how about giving me
a blow job before you do it?" "My life's
been nothing but crap, " says the girl. "So
I might as well." After the girl's done, the guy
says, "Wow, that was great! Why are you so depressed,
anyway?" The girl replies, "My family disowned
me for ...
4 Comments, 81 Views,
9 Votes
,4.71 Score |
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Three Golfers 1/2/2017
Three golfing partners died in a car wreck and went to heaven.
Upon arrival they discover the most beautiful golf course
they have ever seen. St. Peter tells them that they are all
welcome to play the course, but he cautions them that there
is only one rule:
"Don't hit the ducks during your first three
months here."
The men all have blank expressions, and finally one of them ...
7 Comments, 142 Views,
20 Votes
,5.81 Score |
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Hurricanes 1/2/2017
Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go
they take your house and car with them
5 Comments, 30 Views,
10 Votes
,4.38 Score |
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G-spot and a golf ball 1/1/2017
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
1 Comments, 11 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score |
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A DEA Officer... 1/1/2017
..stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher.
He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch
for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher says, "Okay, but do not go in that field
over there, " as he points out the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister,
I have the authority of the Federal Government with me."
Reaching into his rear pants ...
2 Comments, 100 Views,
9 Votes
,5.14 Score |
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A Blonde and Snow 1/1/2017
One winter morning in Syracuse a husband and his blonde
wife were listening to the radio during breakfast. They
heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to
10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered
side of the street, so the snowplows can get through...
So the good wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, ...
2 Comments, 111 Views,
13 Votes
,6.16 Score |
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3 to think about 1/1/2017
Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways
and put our useless junk in the garage?
Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery?’
2 Comments, 35 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score |
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Think About It 1/1/2017
Why do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy
people can buy cigarettes at the front?
2 Comments, 32 Views,
6 Votes
,3.93 Score |
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The Priest's Question 12/31/2016
The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and
ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday
morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered
that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the
village, so he questioned his parishioners in church.
During mass, he asked the congregation, 'Has anybody
got a cock?
All the men stood up. ...
1 Comments, 56 Views,
6 Votes
,3.93 Score |
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...a stroll through the woods... 12/27/2016
Three friends stroll through the woods - suddenly a man
appears between the trees looking exactly like Jesus...
the first one approaches the man and asks - "are you
Jesus"? And the man responds YES - can I help you my
?
Yes the First one says - I have terrible pain in my elbow.
So Jesus lays his hand on the elbow and the man is healed!!!
The Second one encouraged limps ...
0 Comments, 72 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score |
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and another Blondie joke 12/22/2016
Two blonds standing naked in front of a mirror checking
each other out...the one suddenly says - Hey - you ve got
black hair down there...the other responds with a smile
- You think I am stupid everywhere?....
0 Comments, 47 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score |
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permanent erection 12/21/2016
A man walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was
the pharmacist and as she and her also single sister owned
the store, there were no males employed there. The woman pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional
and whatever it was that he needed to discuss. The man agreed
and began by saying, "This is tough for me ...
2 Comments, 82 Views,
8 Votes
,3.71 Score |
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presidential wives 12/21/2016
The wives of four presidents and prime minister are talking
together about how a penis is called in their language.
The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman,
because it stands up when women are entering.
The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a patriot,
because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on
the back side.
The ...
1 Comments, 79 Views,
9 Votes
,5.14 Score |
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robot 12/21/2016
A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they
lie. He decides to test it at dinner. ", where were
you today?" The says "at school dad."
Robot slaps the ! "Ok, I watched a dvd at my friends
house!" "What dvd?" "Toy story."
Robot slaps the again! "Ok, it was a porno"
cries the . "What! When I was your age I didn't
know what porn was" says the dad. Robot slaps the dad!
Mom laughs ...
2 Comments, 71 Views,
8 Votes
,5.10 Score |
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other hand 12/21/2016
Clever Teacher
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for
you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear
attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death
in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever."
A smart ass guy in the ...
1 Comments, 81 Views,
6 Votes
,4.50 Score |
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7 kinds of sex 12/21/2016
SEVEN KINDS OF SEX The 1st kind of sex is called ... Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet Someone and you both have sex until you are Blue in the face. The 2nd kind of sex is called ... Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so needy you will have Sex anywhere, even in the kitchen. The 3rd kind of sex is called ... Bedroom Sex. ...
0 Comments, 39 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score |
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Jokes 12/21/2016
do you guys have any good jokes
1 Comments, 8 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score |
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I love blonde jokes 2 12/17/2016
Blonde walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor,
what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch!
It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I
touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch!
it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your
finger is broken."
2 Comments, 46 Views,
7 Votes
,4.82 Score |