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Blowjob 9/24/2017
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today
we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does
anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!"
Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your
multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, ...
3 Comments, 50 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
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Ice cream 9/22/2017
A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't
paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three
ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are
left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher
asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the
shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No,
two, but I like how you're thinking." ...
1 Comments, 41 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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Mountain dew 9/22/2017
Girl: "Can you use 'Mountain Dew' in a sentence?"
Guy: "Yes, can I 'mount-ain dew' you?"
1 Comments, 11 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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The Aussie 9/21/2017
An Aussie drover walks into a bar with his pet crocodile
by his side. <br><br>
He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished
patrons. 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's
mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close
his mouth for one minute. 'Then he'll open his
mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In ...
1 Comments, 46 Views,
10 Votes
,4.38 Score
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A Vampire’s Nightcap 9/20/2017
What did one thirsty vampire say to the other as they were
passing the morgue? A: Let’s stop in for a cool one!
1 Comments, 18 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Customer Complaints 9/18/2017
A well dressed gentleman is walking through the airport
with 12 . As he is standing at the gate to board, the airline
representative asks "Sir, are these all your ?"
<br><br>
The man say "No. None of these are mine." <br><br>
The airline rep asks "Well then why are they with you?"
<br><br>
The man replies "I work for the ...
1 Comments, 42 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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joke 9/17/2017
guess who I saw today ? everyone I looked at
1 Comments, 5 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
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none 9/16/2017
nothing4
1 Comments, 4 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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The Accident 9/14/2017
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've
regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember,
but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're
going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything,
however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't
find it" <br><br> ...
1 Comments, 60 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score
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Lucky 5 9/9/2017
A 55-year-old man who was born on May 5, has been married
5 years, has 5 , makes $55, 555.55 a year, and who’s
lucky number is 5, receives a phone call from a friend. <br><br>
The friend informs the man that a named Lucky 5 will
be running in the fifth race at the local track that evening.
<br><br>
Excitedly, the man withdraws $5, 555.00 cash from his
bank account, goes ...
2 Comments, 76 Views,
9 Votes
,5.56 Score
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weddings!! 9/6/2017
why do brides wear white at a wedding? <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
nah, ,, ,, thats not it!!!! <br><br>
hmmmm, try again!!! <br><br>
because it matches the appliances!!!!! 
1 Comments, 24 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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Senior Citizen Sex 8/27/2017
Roger is 85 and lives in a Senior Citizens Home. <br><br>
Every night after dinner he goes to a secluded garden behind
the home to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long
life. <br><br>
One evening, Mildred, age 82, wanders into the garden.
They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours
have passed. After a short lull in their conversation,
Roger turns to ...
2 Comments, 102 Views,
18 Votes
,6.13 Score
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Cowboy Sex 8/24/2017
Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite
sex positions: One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo
position the best." <br><br>
"I don't think I have ever heard of that one",
says the other cowboy, "what is it?" <br><br>
"Well, it's where you get your girlfriend down
on all fours, and you mount her from behind, and ...
0 Comments, 80 Views,
11 Votes
,5.41 Score
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interest 8/16/2017
a man went to the Lady at the bank counter and asked, how do
you get more interest, when you put in or when you withdraw;
prompt was her reply, the longer you keep inside the more
of interest you get
3 Comments, 52 Views,
14 Votes
,3.30 Score
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bike riding 8/13/2017
do you know what they say about girls who ride a bike?
They pedal their ass all over town
1 Comments, 28 Views,
7 Votes
,2.28 Score
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going duck hunting 8/13/2017
husband asked his wife to go duck hunting , she always says
shell go, but when its time to go she says no, this time
he says if you welch you have to give me anal sex or a blowjob, sure
enough she dosent want to go , so she starts giving him a
blow job when she says , this taste like shit, he says , the
fucking didnt want to go either
1 Comments, 13 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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going duck hunting 8/13/2017
husband asked his wife to go duck hunting , she always says
shell go, but when its time to go she says no, this time
he says if you welch you have to give me anal sex or a blowjob, sure
enough she dosent want to go , so she starts giving him a
blow job when she says , this taste like shit, he says , the
fucking didnt want to go either
1 Comments, 13 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
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SEX AND THE ELDERLY..... 8/4/2017
The eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical
examination, the Doctor said, "You are in fine shape
for your age, Mrs. Green, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?"
"Just a minute, I'll have to ask my husband, “she
said.
She stepped out into the crowded reception room and yelled
out loud:
"Bob, do we still have intercourse?" There
was a complete ...
4 Comments, 131 Views,
11 Votes
,5.60 Score
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Light Beer 7/28/2017
You know why they say light beer is like sex on the beach?
They're both fuckin close to water!
1 Comments, 5 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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O'brian. 7/28/2017
A traveler walks into a bar in Dublin after a long day to finally
have his first Irish beer. The bartender kindly asks, "What'll
ya have boyo?" to which the traveler responds, "A
pint of guiness, sir." The bartender pulls him a perfect
pint and the traveler stares at it in amazement as it settles.
"Ah, that's a mighty fine pull isn't it boyo?"
The bartender asks. "It's beautiful."
Says ...
1 Comments, 78 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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the bar 7/27/2017
This man sits next to this lady in a bar and says "I sure
would like a little pussy" The lady reply's "me too mines as big as a hat"
3 Comments, 49 Views,
13 Votes
,4.65 Score
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weight problem 7/24/2017
i dated a girl with weight problem in high school. in the
dark of the backseat she would cry out....WAIT WAIT WAIT
1 Comments, 56 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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The Funeral 7/17/2017
At a funeral a priest was giving the last rights to a woman
who had 17 . Her first husband Edward, fathered
6, her second husband Tom fathered 5 and her present husband
George standing at her grave, fathered an additional 6.
As the Priest was wrapping up his solemn and inspirational
comments about her sacrifice and complete love for all
her …He closed with…"She has now been
called by the ...
1 Comments, 123 Views,
11 Votes
,4.66 Score
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Leroy! 7/14/2017
A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed
by 15 .
'WOW, ' the social worker exclaims, 'are
they all yours?"
'Yep, they are all mine, ' the flustered momma
sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.
She says, 'Sit down Leroy'. All the rush
to find seats.
'Well, ' says the social worker, 'then you
must be here to sign up. I'll need ...
4 Comments, 120 Views,
12 Votes
,4.92 Score
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jokes are good 7/11/2017
A joke is a display of humour in which words are used within
a specific and well-defined narrative structure to make
people laugh. It takes the form of a story, usually with
dialogue, and ends in a punch line. It is in the punch line
that the audience becomes aware that the story contains
a second, conflicting meaning. This can be done using a
pun or other word play such as irony, a logical ...
1 Comments, 23 Views,
6 Votes
,2.51 Score
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A LIMERICK 7/10/2017
There was a young man from Kent,
Whose tool was decidedly bent,
To save himself trouble,
He put it in double,
And instead of coming he went!
1 Comments, 29 Views,
5 Votes
,2.16 Score
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Which of my friend 7/6/2017
The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only
to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined
to track down the father to extract revenge.
"Was it my friend Sam", he demanded.
"No !" his weeping wife replied.
"Was it my friend Jim then?" he asked.
"NO !!!" she said even more upset.
"Well which one of my no good friends did ...
2 Comments, 115 Views,
13 Votes
,3.98 Score
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The Reunion 7/2/2017
Husband takes the wife to her high school reunion.
After meeting several of her friends and former schoolmates,
they are sitting at a table where he is yawning and overly
bored. The band cranks up and people are beginning to dance.
There's a guy on the dance floor living it large, break
dancing, moon walking, back flips, buying drinks for people,
the works.
Wife turns ...
1 Comments, 142 Views,
20 Votes
,4.78 Score
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fuck 7/2/2017
i hotel first fuck friend but not have comdom
1 Comments, 54 Views,
11 Votes
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Quick jokes 7/1/2017
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A. A carrot
What's brown and sticky?
A. A stick
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A. A fsh
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A. To get to the other slide.
1 Comments, 36 Views,
10 Votes
,2.99 Score
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