|
terrible joke . . . 10/8/2019
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity... It's impossible to put down!
1 Comments, 10 Views,
8 Votes
,1.86 Score
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a joke 10/8/2019
A woman was enjoying a good game of golf with her girlfriends.
"Oh, no!" she suddenly exclaimed. "Look
at the time! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband!
He'll be so pissed if it's not ready on time."
When she got home, she discovered all she had in the fridge
was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg - and a can of cat food. With no time to go to the ...
1 Comments, 47 Views,
8 Votes
,3.25 Score
|
|
Cheesy Joke... 10/7/2019
How do you make holy water? <br><br>
You boil the hell out of it.
0 Comments, 9 Views,
5 Votes
,1.51 Score
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Dad joke alert... 10/7/2019
Today, my asked "Can I have a mark?"
and I burst into tears. years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
1 Comments, 6 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
|
|
Hi how is everyone doing 10/7/2019
So there a nun and a blind man. The nun gose to her room and
gets in the shower then hears a knock at the door says who
is it the. Man replied the blind man she says okay if your
blind come in so he dose and says nice tits now we're
do you want your blinds
2 Comments, 16 Views,
7 Votes
,1.00 Score
|
|
Lets try this one 10/7/2019
A visits her for dinner... who just happens to
live with a girl roommate. <br><br>
During the course of the meal, his couldn't
but notice how pretty his roommate was. <br><br>
She had long been suspicious of a relationship between
the two of them, and this encounter had only made her more
curious. <br><br>
Over the course of the evening.... while ...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
5 Votes
,2.16 Score
|
|
What do you call two jalapeños getting it on? 10/7/2019
hot!
0 Comments, 3 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
|
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A Joke 10/7/2019
Bert and Ethel, a couple in Their 80s are celebrating are
getting close to Their 60th wedding anniversary. Bert
books a week at the hotel they had honeymooned in for the
occasion. On Their anniversary night they are in bed talking
and Bert says what do you think, should we try a bit of sex.
Ethel agrees to and so they get started. After 10mins Ethel
says " you don't have the fire in you ...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
|
|
Which Spice Girl can carry most gas 10/7/2019
Gerri Can
0 Comments, 4 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
|
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2 guys and their dogs 10/6/2019
2 guys are out walking their dogs thru the city. They get
and the first guy suggests they stop at a restaurant
to get a bite to eat. The second guy says, "We have our
dogs, they won't let us in". First guy says "no
problem, just follow my lead". They walk up to the
restaurant and ask for a table. Hostess says "Sorry,
we don't allow dogs". First guy ...
2 Comments, 41 Views,
7 Votes
,1.51 Score
|
|
Ladies and a flasher 10/6/2019
3 little old ladies were sitting on a park bench enjoying
the afternoon. Suddenly, a guy walks up and flashes them.
the first old lady has a stroke. the second old lady has a
stroke. Sadly, the third old lady can't reach...
0 Comments, 17 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
|
|
What are some good new ones 10/6/2019
Any new Jokes? Trump? Dark humor? Anyone?
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
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more humour 10/6/2019
First time with my new girlfriend in the back of my car Her “ This is my first time, I’m a virgin, so what do I
do ?” Me “ just grasp it the shaft and pretend you’re brushing
your teeth” After 10 minutes nothing is happening Me “ you’re not doing anything. Why is your hand not
moving ? Her “I’ve got an electric toothbrush !”
0 Comments, 11 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
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in a saloon 10/5/2019
limps into a saloon in the west. All eyes turn
at him. His back foot is all bandaged up. He says the
- "I'm looking for the man shot my paw..."
0 Comments, 5 Views,
2 Votes
,0.34 Score
|
|
in a saloon 10/5/2019
limps into a saloon in the west. All eyes turn
at him. His back foot is all bandaged up. He says the
- "I'm looking for the man shot my paw..."
0 Comments, 8 Views,
4 Votes
,1.30 Score
|
|
This isn't funny 10/5/2019
Nor is this
0 Comments, 7 Views,
6 Votes
,1.37 Score
|
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What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? 10/4/2019
Beat it. We're closed.
1 Comments, 7 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
|
|
What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? 10/4/2019
Beat it. We're closed.
0 Comments, 4 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
|
|
In at the deep end 10/4/2019
A disabled person comes to the swimming pool, and although
he is really badly affected, he limps as best he can to the
main pool, and goes to jump into the water. Just then the
lifeguard spots him, and runs like crazy to stop him ...
But he gets there too late, so he dives in to at least catch
him before he drowns ... To his surprise, the disabled guy
swims like a God, and the master-swimmer ...
0 Comments, 36 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
|
|
Politics 10/4/2019
A boy asks his father: - Dad, I have to give a presentation at school, can I ask you
some questions? - Yes of course, come on, what do you want to know? - What are politics? The father reflects for a moment and then starts: - Well then, let’s take our home as an example. I am an employee,
so I earn money, so let's call me "capitalism".
Your mother is the administrator of the ...
1 Comments, 28 Views,
5 Votes
,2.16 Score
|
|
More Humour 10/4/2019
The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked
if the priest would hear his confession. “Of course,
my , ” said the priest. “Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful
woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the
Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her.”
“That’s a wonderful thing, my , and nothing that
you need to confess, ...
0 Comments, 22 Views,
5 Votes
,1.51 Score
|
|
points 10/4/2019
points are a joke.....
0 Comments, 3 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
|
|
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? 10/4/2019
He only comes once a year.
0 Comments, 2 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
|
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Toilet humour 10/4/2019
Three ladies of a certain age are discussing problems associated
with ageing. “60 is far the worst age”, says the first.
“You feel like you’re always needing to , but in fact
there’s nothing there”. <br><br>
“That’s nothing”, says the second, “when you’re
70, your digestive system packs up. You take plenty of laxatives,
eat loads of fibre, and spend all day ...
1 Comments, 32 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
|
|
Dirty jokes ? 10/3/2019
Looking for the best dirty joke of the day? I love a good dirty
joke to light up the day! Let's hear what you got!
0 Comments, 7 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
|
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Points 10/3/2019
point points points
0 Comments, 5 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
|
|
The Lawyer 10/2/2019
A lawyer, had a wife and needed move because
his rental agreement was terminated by the owner, wanted
reoccupy the home. But he was having a lot of difficulty
finding a new house. When he said, he had , no
would rent a home him because they felt that the
would destroy the place. <br><br>
He couldn't say he had no , because he couldn't
lie (as we all know, lawyers ...
0 Comments, 27 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
|
|
points 10/2/2019
points points points points points points points.
0 Comments, 2 Views,
2 Votes
,0.34 Score
|
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More Humour 10/2/2019
A couple had decided to use calculator as a codeword
for intercourse. The man told his to ask Mummy for the
calculator. He comes back and tells him that she'd
said she'll get it soon. An hour later the man asks his
the same thing again and he returns with the same response.
An hour later the woman shouts; "I've found the
calculator". The man shouts back; "Fuck ...
0 Comments, 17 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
|
|
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? 10/1/2019
Beef strokin’ off. <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
... I'll see myself out.
2 Comments, 8 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
|
|
More Humour 10/1/2019
Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin
when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, ‘Top o’ the mornin’ To ye! Aren’t
ye Mrs. Donovan And didn’t I marry ye and yer Hoosband
two years ago?’ She replied, ‘Aye, that ye did, Father.’ The Father asked, ‘And be there Any wee little ones yet?’
She replied, ‘No, not yet, Father.’ The Father said, ...
1 Comments, 34 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
|
|
limrick 9/30/2019
there was a man from bombay who made a cunt out of clay he put
in his prick it hardened like a brick and tore his forskin
away
1 Comments, 15 Views,
7 Votes
,0.49 Score
|
|
another funny 9/30/2019
what do dyslexic zombies eat? <br><br>
<br><br>
BRAINS <br><br>
<br><br>
ha!!!
1 Comments, 10 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
|
|
monday funny 9/30/2019
my wife keeps using the word 'mansplaining' wrong
and I don't know how to tell her! <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
ha!
1 Comments, 7 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
|
|
post youre funniest one liners 9/30/2019
here for a good laugh post your funniest one liners here
0 Comments, 11 Views,
4 Votes
,0.92 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/29/2019
A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday.
She spends $, 000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to a newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t
mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”. ‘About 32, ’ is the reply.’ ‘Nope! I’m exactly 50, ’ the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into ...
1 Comments, 40 Views,
12 Votes
,4.21 Score
|
|
are you smuggling opiates... 9/29/2019
Him= Are you smuggling opiates in your bra? Her= No, why? Him- Because I see a "Perky Set" in there!
1 Comments, 8 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
|
|
Lets try this one 9/28/2019
A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks,
'Did you see me rob this bank?' <br><br>
The man replied, ' Yes sir, I did.' The robber then
shot him in the head, killing him instantly. He then turned
to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, '..
Did you see me rob this bank?' ...
0 Comments, 35 Views,
8 Votes
,4.17 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/28/2019
After two weeks on a desert island with only each other for
company, Bob and Geoff are getting horny. "Look, " says Bob, "Neither of us are
gay, but if you pretend to be a women for me, when I'm
done, I'll pretend to be a woman for you." Geoff reluctantly agrees and suffers minutes of painful
humiliation as Bob fucks him up the arse. When it's
over, Geoff asks Bob ...
1 Comments, 38 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score
|
|
Senior Briefing 9/27/2019
On the first day at the new seniors complex, the manager
addressed all the new seniors pointing out some of the rules:
<br><br>
"The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds
for all males, and the male dormitory to the females. Anybody
caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."
<br><br>
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this ...
3 Comments, 42 Views,
8 Votes
,2.55 Score
|
|
Strange Day 9/27/2019
I've had a weird day today First I found a hat full of coins Then I got chased down the road by a bloke with a guitar.....
1 Comments, 22 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score
|
|
Strange Day 9/27/2019
I've had a weird day today First I found a hat full of coins Then I got chased down the road by a bloke with a guitar.....
0 Comments, 6 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
|
|
Internet 9/27/2019
I was on the internet earlier. The Mrs asked me what I was searching for I replied "Cheap flights" All day she's been smiling and nice to me I didn't even realise she liked darts
0 Comments, 6 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
|
|
Bhahahaha 9/26/2019
What's the difference between a chickpea & a garbanzo
bean ????? <br><br>
<br><br>
Never had to pay to have a garbanzo bean on my face
0 Comments, 5 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
|
|
The points :) 9/26/2019
Just making this article for the points yall sry bout that
2 Comments, 8 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
|
|
Damsel in Distress 9/25/2019
A man brags about finding a woman strapped to some railroad
tracks and untying her, taking her home and having the best
sex of his life with her. His friend asked, was she cute?
He replies I don’t know I couldn’t find her head.
1 Comments, 8 Views,
6 Votes
,2.23 Score
|
|
points 9/24/2019
points points points points points points.
2 Comments, 11 Views,
7 Votes
,1.77 Score
|
|
sex 9/21/2019
hell yes very
4 Comments, 26 Views,
15 Votes
,0.53 Score
|
|
Clownin 9/21/2019
Knock knock......who is it... knock harder.... who is
it... sorry didnt know I was knocking... my dick was on hard
1 Comments, 26 Views,
14 Votes
,1.06 Score
|
|
Monday blues 9/20/2019
Blue blues
2 Comments, 25 Views,
19 Votes
,2.07 Score
|
|
Just published!! 9/20/2019
20 years in the saddle Major Bumsore Shorter Skirts Seymour Legg Baby's Revenge by Nora Tittsov Sex at Sea by Master Bates & Seaman Staines <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
...
0 Comments, 15 Views,
11 Votes
,1.48 Score
|
|
A Joke 9/20/2019
Justin Trudeau was reportedly very excited to be asked
to address a conference on racism. <br><br>
Apparently he's totally made up
2 Comments, 29 Views,
12 Votes
,1.56 Score
|
|
crossing the road 9/18/2019
why did the pervert cross the road.................cos
his dick was stuck in the chicken
0 Comments, 14 Views,
11 Votes
,0.92 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/18/2019
Porn star Jessica Jaymes has died, with her death classified
as natural. <br><br>
Unlike the rest of her....
0 Comments, 17 Views,
12 Votes
,1.21 Score
|
|
funny? 9/18/2019
why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? <br><br>
It got stuck a crack <br><br>
<br><br>
ha!!!
0 Comments, 1 Views,
1 Votes
|
|
Screwed 9/18/2019
That's what AdultFriendFinder does to u
0 Comments, 17 Views,
14 Votes
,1.22 Score
|
|
more Tuesday fun 9/17/2019
I find sign language to be very handy!!! <br><br>
HA!
0 Comments, 3 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
|
|
Tuesday fun 9/17/2019
I bet shower heads rethinking "every naked person
I see turns on" <br><br>
<br><br>
HA!
0 Comments, 5 Views,
4 Votes
,0.92 Score
|
|
Thomas Edison 9/16/2019
Thomas Edison was probably the first guy to fuck a girl with
the lights on.
2 Comments, 19 Views,
16 Votes
,1.95 Score
|
|
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? 9/16/2019
The blunt pencil had a difficult time making a point...
0 Comments, 4 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
|
|
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? 9/16/2019
It never had a point. 
0 Comments, 3 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
|
|
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? 9/16/2019
It never had a point.
0 Comments, 3 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
|
|
points 9/16/2019
points points points points points points.
2 Comments, 10 Views,
6 Votes
,1.37 Score
|
|
points 9/16/2019
points points points points points points.
0 Comments, 8 Views,
7 Votes
,1.26 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/16/2019
The wife was bent over looking at something and it was to
good an opportunity to miss. I pulled her knickers to one side and did what nature intended.
Apparently we are banned from Walmart now .
1 Comments, 19 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/15/2019
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine
. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When
the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife
and the nine are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while,
the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of
the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, ...
2 Comments, 58 Views,
15 Votes
,3.74 Score
|
|
Mom 3some 9/13/2019
A guy is in a bar talking to a beautiful 60yr old woman things
get heated up and she whispers in his ear "have you
ever had a mom and 3some" the guy is thinking
if she looks this good at 60 her must be amazing.
So he goes home with her and as they head upstairs the woman
yells " mom take off your depends and clean yourself
up I brought us home a live one"
1 Comments, 26 Views,
11 Votes
,1.86 Score
|
|
Hotel porn 9/10/2019
A family walks into a hotel and he father goes to the front
desk to get a room. He says "I hope the porn is disabled".
The guy at the desk says "We just show regular porn
you sick fuck".
2 Comments, 19 Views,
12 Votes
,2.62 Score
|
|
Is the Earth really round ????? 9/9/2019
NASA lied us !!
2 Comments, 19 Views,
10 Votes
|
|
More Humour 9/9/2019
A of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed
to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was
the teacher insisted on no baby talk. "You need to use 'big people' words, "
she'd always remind them. She asked Chris what he had
done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people
words!" She ...
0 Comments, 79 Views,
15 Votes
,2.21 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/8/2019
A drunken Irishman is driving through the city of Dublin and his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over. "So, " says the cop to the driver, "where
have you been?" "I've been to the pub, " slurs the drunk.
"Well, " says the cop, "it looks like
you've had quite a few." "I did all right, " the drunk says ...
4 Comments, 64 Views,
13 Votes
,2.98 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/8/2019
One day little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if
he could him a £200 bicycle for his birthday. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we have an £80, 000
mortgage on the house, and you want to you a bicycle? Wait until Christmas." Christmas came around, and Johnny asked again. The father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely
, sorry about . Ask again some other ...
0 Comments, 49 Views,
13 Votes
,2.64 Score
|
|
When its an appropriate time to Joke about... 9/8/2019
When have you been able to joke about things with your partner.
Some of the short-cummins or long cummings etc. with your
partner? Have you been able to hold your tongue until there
was open air where you could share and accept your partners
critiques? Have you been with other couples where you enjoyed
things but maybe said something a bit too much? Then had
to walk it back.
1 Comments, 19 Views,
8 Votes
,0.70 Score
|
|
The biggest Vagina 9/7/2019
Three women are sitting at a bar arguing over who has the
biggest vagina. <br><br>
“The first girl says, ‘My boyfriend can fit a whole
fist up there.’ The second girl says, ‘Ha, my boyfriend
can fit two fists and a foot.’ The third girl just smiles
as she slides down the bar stool.”
2 Comments, 36 Views,
14 Votes
,1.70 Score
|
|
Food humor 9/7/2019
What is the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?
<br><br>
No one ever $200.00 to have a garbanzo bean on their
face.. <br><br>
<br><br>
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
<br><br>
beer nuts are over a dollar, deer nuts are under a buck.
0 Comments, 12 Views,
8 Votes
,2.09 Score
|
|
Doctor Viisit 9/7/2019
A guy is sitting at the doctor’s office. The doctor walks
in and says, “I have some bad news. I’m afraid you’re
going to have to stop masturbating.” <br><br>
“I don’t understand, doc, ” the patient says. “Why?”
<br><br>
“Because, ” the doctor says. “I’m trying to examine
you.”
1 Comments, 8 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/7/2019
Just pissed off the yoga instructor when she told the
class to "holler out your favorite position!"...
I yelled, "ANAL!"...
0 Comments, 6 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/7/2019
I met a beautiful girl and we were getting on great until
I asked her out for a drink and she stormed off. I'm beginning to think that every woman you meet at
AA is a lesbian...
0 Comments, 2 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
|
|
mornin' sexxx 9/6/2019
the wife was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual
soft-boiled egg and toast breakfast; wearing nothing
but the t-shirt she normally sleeps in. me, not being nearly
awake gave a bit of side eye when I walked in. she turned to
me and softly said, “you’ve got to get your dick out,
fuck me right now." it sounded so sexy when she said
it, that my eyes woke like it xmas morning. i ...
0 Comments, 51 Views,
9 Votes
,3.85 Score
|
|
Orgasms and sneezing 9/6/2019
I’ve heard the louder someone sneezes the louder they
orgasm- think about it
0 Comments, 7 Views,
5 Votes
,0.21 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/6/2019
A fledgling journalist has been sent out to an interview
an elderly lady for the local rag, she has just turned 104
and still lives at home. The journo scribbles down the old
lady's life story in shorthand; schooldays, war ,
loves, marriage, widowhood. Then he arrived at the crucial
question. Journo: "Well then Edna, the $64, 000 dollar question!
All our readers will want to know the ...
1 Comments, 31 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
|
|
Threesome 9/5/2019
Having just passed my 50th birthday, I met an older woman
in a bar the other night. She was in her late 60s, but in very
good shape for her age. We got talking and flirting and she
asked if I'd like to go back to hers for a "sportsman's
double". "What's that ?" I said.
"It's a mother and threesome".
Imagining a gorgeous lady about my age, I ...
2 Comments, 36 Views,
7 Votes
,2.02 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/5/2019
I was sat in a bar with my wife last night. She looked at me and said, "Why are you staring at that
blonde woman with the big tits sitting over there?"
"You're crazy! !I didn't even notice her
big tits." I replied. "So why are you still staring at her??" "She's got no panties on."...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
|
|
Short Joke 9/4/2019
What did one condom say to the other condom as they walked
past a gay bar? <br><br>
<br><br>
Wanna get shit faced? 🤣🤣🤣
0 Comments, 3 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/4/2019
Last night my wife wore a police uniform in bed and said,
"you've been arrested for being good in bed!"
<br><br>
90 seconds later the charges were dropped due to lack of
evidence...
1 Comments, 7 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
|
|
Panda 9/4/2019
A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can
get a little action for the night. The bartender motions
to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back
to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves.
The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house.
"You owe me money, " she says. "For what?"
The woman rolls her eyes and explains, ...
0 Comments, 38 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
|
|
A boy 9/4/2019
A little boy and his friends are being called bastards and
bitches by bullies at school. The boy goes home and asks,
"Dad, what are bastards and bitches?" And his
dad replies, "Bitches are ladies and bastards are
gentlemen." Then the boy goes upstairs to see his
mom. As he enters the room, he accidentally drops a perfume
bottle, and his mom says, "Shit!" "Mom, ...
1 Comments, 34 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
|
|
Jokes 9/3/2019
What are your favorite dirty jokes
0 Comments, 3 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
|
|
More Humour 9/2/2019
Dave woke up after the annual office Christmas party with
a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable
to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs,
where his old lady put some coffee in front of him. “Louise, ” he moaned, “tell me what happened last
night. Was it as bad as I think?” “Even worse, ” she said, her ...
3 Comments, 53 Views,
10 Votes
,4.98 Score
|
|
What in the difference- 9/2/2019
Between a lollipop and a sucker?
2 Comments, 23 Views,
3 Votes
,0.49 Score
|
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Does size really matter 9/2/2019
Wonder if women really r into size or it just dont matter.
Help me with this one plz
0 Comments, 5 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
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To The Point 9/1/2019
A woman whose was hospitalised in a US tornado
told ITV News "God would make her better."
Presumably, 's a different God from the one
almost killed her with a tornado....
0 Comments, 13 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score
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Even More Humour 9/1/2019
There was a local family whose was frankly very
overweight and unattractive. I remember one day her mom came into school and spoke during
assembly explaining she could no longer stand the bullying and had hanged herself the night before.
<br><br>
The whole school was in shocked silence, then one lad shouted
out, " hell, it must have been a strong rope."
0 Comments, 17 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
|
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Why 8/31/2019
Why did the chicken cross the road because the pervert could
not get his knob of it .... what cum first the chicken
or the pervert ??
0 Comments, 9 Views,
7 Votes
,1.00 Score
|
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Why 8/31/2019
Why did the chicken cross the road because the pervert could
not get his knob of it .... what cum first the chicken
or the pervert ??
0 Comments, 6 Views,
5 Votes
,0.86 Score
|
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Pharmacist joke 8/31/2019
"Being a pharmacist is great because you're
kind of a doctor, but also a cashier." -Dave Attell
1 Comments, 8 Views,
7 Votes
,2.53 Score
|
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More Humour 8/31/2019
There was a knock on the door and on answering it discovered
a Policeman holding a photo of my wife . He asked "Is this your wife sir"? to which I replied
yes . He said "It looks like shes been in an accident"
And I replied "I know but shes got a lovely personality
"
0 Comments, 13 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
|
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More Humour 8/31/2019
Fuck I remember the days when I was a you could go into
a shop with £1 and come out with 2 tins of coke, a wham bar,
a bag of crisps and 2 magnums.... Now , Fuckin CCTV everywhere.
0 Comments, 10 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
|
|
funny guy 8/30/2019
I have been writing volumes of jokes my entire life, now
at the age of 61 I've been sifting through my writings,
im a funny guy.
2 Comments, 19 Views,
6 Votes
,1.37 Score
|
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points 8/28/2019
points points points points points points points
1 Comments, 8 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
|
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Wanna hear a joke. 8/27/2019
My sad sad need for points
1 Comments, 8 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
|
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More Humour 8/27/2019
A is in the kitchen making dinner for her family
when her walks in. “, where do babies
come from?” The thinks for a few seconds and says,
“Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married.
One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug,
and have sex.” The looks puzzled so the
continues, “ means the daddy puts his penis in the
mommy’s vagina. ’s how you get a ...
1 Comments, 23 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
|
|
more humour 8/26/2019
I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone
and a nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm looking for to unlock my phone....
0 Comments, 9 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
|
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More Humour 8/26/2019
One the first teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her . She came to the part of the story where the first was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...and
so the went up to the man with the wheel barrow full of straw and said, "Pardon sir, but may I have some of straw to build my house?" The teacher paused
then asked the ...
3 Comments, 52 Views,
11 Votes
,3.73 Score
|
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Jokes 8/25/2019
There has to be some joking involved
0 Comments, 4 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
|
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How do you—- 8/24/2019
make a snowman the beach?
0 Comments, 11 Views,
5 Votes
,1.19 Score
|
|
How do you—- 8/24/2019
Get an elf of a tree?
0 Comments, 7 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
|
|
What- 8/24/2019
What is the difference between cats and kittens?
0 Comments, 19 Views,
7 Votes
,0.49 Score
|
|
more humour 8/24/2019
In a recent survey 100 women were asked what shower soap
they preferred . 99 percent of the women replied "Get out of the shower
you pervert"
1 Comments, 14 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score
|
|
More Humour 8/24/2019
I came home from the pub last night and the wife said to
me "What time do you call this"? 56 years of age and still cant tell the time ....
1 Comments, 19 Views,
8 Votes
,2.78 Score
|
|
Just need a good FWB 8/23/2019
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have
a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
0 Comments, 4 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
|
|
More Humour 8/20/2019
One Monday morning a postman is walking the neighborhood
on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed
both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short
Bob, the homeowner, coming out the front door, stepping
around empty beer and liquor bottles. “Wow, Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last
night!” the postman says. Bob, in obvious pain, replies — ...
0 Comments, 40 Views,
10 Votes
,2.59 Score
|
|
Camping 8/18/2019
Have you ever had sex while camping? <br><br>
<br><br>
It's fucking intents!
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
|
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What is... 8/18/2019
The other side of summer compared the dead of winter?
0 Comments, 13 Views,
6 Votes
,2.23 Score
|
|
text me 502-389-1837 8/17/2019
what kind of bees produce milk? <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
boobies
0 Comments, 13 Views,
12 Votes
,1.92 Score
|
|
What 8/17/2019
Is the difference between a ...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
7 Votes
,1.51 Score
|
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More Humour 8/17/2019
An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, 'George, everything looks great.
How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?' George replies, 'God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when
I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof!
The light goes ...
1 Comments, 39 Views,
11 Votes
,2.61 Score
|
|
More Humour 8/17/2019
A Scottish couple took in an 18-year-old as a lodger.
She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house
told her they didn't have a bath, although if she wanted
to, she could use a tin bath in front of the fire. "Monday's the best night, when my husband goes
to darts, " she said. The agreed to have a bath the following Monday. After her husband had gone to the ...
0 Comments, 45 Views,
13 Votes
,2.64 Score
|
|
mmm 8/15/2019
iopp
0 Comments, 10 Views,
6 Votes
,1.09 Score
|
|
Humour 8/15/2019
“Doc, I think has VD, ” a patient told his urologist
on the phone, “The woman he’s screwed is our maid.”
“Okay, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a lad , ” the
medic soothed, “Get him in here right away and I’ll
take care of him.” “But I’ve been screwing the maid
too, and I’ve got the symptoms he has.” “Then you come in with him
and I’ll fix you both up, ...
0 Comments, 41 Views,
9 Votes
,1.72 Score
|
|
joke #1 8/14/2019
<br><br>
?
2 Comments, 14 Views,
6 Votes
,4.22 Score
|
|
Tuesday fun 8/13/2019
I imagine the day you OD on viagra is the hardest day of your
life!!!! ha!
1 Comments, 17 Views,
11 Votes
,2.23 Score
|
|
JOKE 8/12/2019
shootit2me2...
0 Comments, 15 Views,
7 Votes
,1.77 Score
|
|
just another joke 8/11/2019
ere ya go
0 Comments, 15 Views,
10 Votes
,1.59 Score
|
|
More Humour 8/10/2019
HOW DID THE 7 DWARVES GET THEIR NAMES? Miss Snow White was a randy cow, And desperate for a f**k, So off she went into the woods, To try and get some luck. She'd almost given up looking, When she saw some chimney smoke, Then she stumbled on the cottage, And went in for a poke. Her clothes came off in seconds. And she'd just removed her pants, When seven dwarves came marching in, With a ...
0 Comments, 42 Views,
8 Votes
,4.64 Score
|
|
Humour 8/10/2019
My german girlfriend likes to my sexual performances
on a scale of 1-. Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling
9. That's the best I've ever done....
2 Comments, 24 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
|
|
Police 8/10/2019
Police are now trialing portable on-the-spot DNA testing
machines for use crime scenes. <br><br>
A Police spokesman said "It's a great bit of kit,
we are now able to tamper with the evidence much quicker."
0 Comments, 7 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
|
|
Humour 8/10/2019
3 Irishmen in a bar. Murphy says "My local's better
than this. In my local, you 2 drinks and the 3rd's
free" Mick says, "Well in my local you 1 drink
you get the 2nd free" Paddy says, "That's nothin'.
In my local you the 1st drink, then the 2nd, 3rd, 4th,
5th, 6th & 7th are free. Then you go to the back and get a shag.
"WOW, " says the ...
3 Comments, 50 Views,
12 Votes
,4.57 Score
|
|
Chicken Licken 8/9/2019
Why did the chicken cross the playground...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... ...... To get to the other slide.
1 Comments, 10 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
|
|
Cheesy joke too 8/9/2019
Which is the best cheese for getting a bear of the woods?.....
...... ..... ..... ..... ..... <br><br>
Camembert.
0 Comments, 7 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
|
|
Impossible to Put a Worm into Its Hole 8/8/2019
After a good summer rain, young Johnny was playing in his
grandparent's yard and noticed the worms had come
out. He was trying to push the worm back into its wormhole.
His grandfather saw this effort and told him that putting
the worm back into the hle is impossible. <br><br>
Johnny bet his grandfather that he could do it for ten dollars.
His grandfather laughed and took the ...
1 Comments, 50 Views,
9 Votes
,1.50 Score
|
|
Why did the chicken cross the road.. 8/8/2019
Im sure he needed points!
2 Comments, 9 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
|
|
What's the difference between hungry and horny? 8/8/2019
Depends on where you stick the cucumber.
0 Comments, 11 Views,
9 Votes
,3.21 Score
|
|
The biggest joke 8/8/2019
The biggest joke is how so many people bitch and complain
about points, the IM, and this website. Most are non
members......but they stay here rather than move on. Maybe
they just love to complain about everything?
1 Comments, 10 Views,
7 Votes
,2.02 Score
|
|
What black women like? 8/7/2019
Do bigger black women enjoy the tall, white, and skinny
boys or do they just chase after anything that will give
them the sex which they seek?
1 Comments, 12 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
|
|
Cheesy joke 8/7/2019
Did you hear about the explosion in the French cheese factory?.....
<br><br>
There was DeBrie everywhere!
1 Comments, 5 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
|
|
Magical dog 8/7/2019
What type of has magical powers?..... <br><br>
A Labra-cadabra-dor!
0 Comments, 10 Views,
6 Votes
,2.51 Score
|
|
Water Zoo 8/6/2019
A "Water Zoo"?
0 Comments, 11 Views,
7 Votes
,2.02 Score
|
|
Safe Sex 8/6/2019
A "Water Zoo"?
0 Comments, 8 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score
|
|
Classic mistake 8/5/2019
A guy walks into his home with chicken under his arm. His
wife is standing there. <br><br>
Man says “Well this is the pig I’m fucking.” Wife says “Honey, that’s not a pig under your arm. It’s
a chicken.” Man says “I wasn’t talking to you.”
4 Comments, 22 Views,
12 Votes
,3.51 Score
|
|
Dentist issues 8/5/2019
An old woman walked into a dentist’s office, took off
all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said,
”I think you have the wrong room.” <br><br>
”You put in my husband’s teeth last week, ” she replied.
“Now you have to remove them.”
4 Comments, 27 Views,
11 Votes
,3.54 Score
|
|
IM 8/5/2019
AdultFriendFinder IM is a bit of a joke most of the time.....
1 Comments, 10 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
|
|
What do you call a gay drive by? 8/5/2019
A fruit roll up...
0 Comments, 7 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
|
|
Dick Picks 8/5/2019
Funny, but true... <br><br>
[image]...
1 Comments, 6 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
|
|
Red Dildo? 8/5/2019
Too funny... <br><br>
[image]...
1 Comments, 11 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
|
|
Sign seen last December 8/5/2019
Saw this road-side sign last December... <br><br>
[image]...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
|
|
Sign seen last December 8/5/2019
Saw this road-side sign last December... <br><br>
[image]...
1 Comments, 14 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score
|
|
points 8/4/2019
the im on here
0 Comments, 3 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
|
|
Why do women like big cock. 8/2/2019
So they can ride it all night LOL!
1 Comments, 12 Views,
7 Votes
,1.77 Score
|
|
Really? 7/30/2019
The shit people do for points...lol
4 Comments, 21 Views,
13 Votes
,2.81 Score
|
|
sometimes a joke is just a joke 7/30/2019
i ran across this joke on here which to me was very genius!
<br><br>
the joke is a member posted an article, and i paraphrase;
there is no article, i just needed the points. <br><br>
thanks for understanding! <br><br>
also, sometimes a joke is just a joke if first clarified.
i once joked on a bet where the wager was sex. i don't
thing she found the humor ...
1 Comments, 11 Views,
7 Votes
,1.77 Score
|
|
Funny Sex 7/29/2019
Studies show that about half of Americans have sex at work.
Coincidentally, that’s the half that say they are
happy with their jobs.
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Advice 7/29/2019
If it feels like more than 2 fingers. Its probably a dick.
You are welcome
1 Comments, 12 Views,
7 Votes
,3.04 Score
|
|
ponts 7/29/2019
points points points points points points points points
points points.
4 Comments, 18 Views,
7 Votes
,2.53 Score
|
|
snowmen 7/29/2019
Why wouldnt the snowwoman go with the snowman? Because he didnt have any snowballs...har har har, im off
drive a car...ooh this should be in the poetry section
as well! points points points
1 Comments, 12 Views,
9 Votes
,3.43 Score
|
|
I have a Great Joke for you all 7/29/2019
Ever try to Im a memeber here and hope for a responce .I try
alot of messages and no one replys . Maybe i might get one
reply so means the messanger is broke
0 Comments, 1 Views,
1 Votes
|
|
I have a Great Joke for you all 7/29/2019
Ever try to Im a memeber here and hope for a responce .I try
alot of messages and no one replys . Maybe i might get one
reply so means the messanger is broke
0 Comments, 3 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
|
|
muff diving 7/27/2019
whats going to court and muff diving got in common...1 slip
of the tongue and your in the shit
4 Comments, 28 Views,
18 Votes
,3.81 Score
|
|
What’s the.... 7/26/2019
What’s the difference between a
0 Comments, 25 Views,
10 Votes
,1.59 Score
|
|
Lol 7/25/2019
This site is a joke
2 Comments, 12 Views,
8 Votes
,3.25 Score
|
|
Just random stuff for points 7/25/2019
Just doing this for points. Not really into writing poems
0 Comments, 12 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
|
|
Guess what? 7/24/2019
The IM change is the site's worth joke.
4 Comments, 21 Views,
13 Votes
,5.16 Score
|
|
Joke 7/24/2019
Why did yrmthe
1 Comments, 15 Views,
11 Votes
,1.48 Score
|
|
points 7/23/2019
so little points so little time...
2 Comments, 14 Views,
10 Votes
,3.19 Score
|
|
OSU vs. UM 7/22/2019
You know what the call the Big House in Ohio?.........OUR
HOUSE!
0 Comments, 3 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
|
|
OSU vs. UM 7/22/2019
You know what the call the Big House in Ohio?.........OUR
HOUSE!
0 Comments, 6 Views,
6 Votes
,1.09 Score
|
|
One Liners 7/21/2019
Am interested in Any one liner type jokes anybody is willing
to share. I ask bartenders all the time and the they
get they do not seem to know even one. Most bartenders back
in the knew a few. Should be part of their interview process
to least know One joke or a One Liner. Here is a joke: You know what kind of man John Denver was?
A plane down to earth man!
0 Comments, 14 Views,
9 Votes
,2.36 Score
|
|
Pointy points? 7/21/2019
Pointy points! <br><br>
That's the joke cause I need em
2 Comments, 17 Views,
11 Votes
,1.48 Score
|
|
Man from Kent 7/20/2019
There was a young man from Kent, <br><br>
's tool was decidedly bent, <br><br>
To save himself trouble, <br><br>
He put it in double, <br><br>
Instead of coming he went!!...
1 Comments, 15 Views,
9 Votes
,1.93 Score
|
|
Points is the name 7/20/2019
Points are the game. Not funny just want the 20 lol
0 Comments, 6 Views,
6 Votes
,1.66 Score
|
|
A Funny 7/20/2019
Hope you enjoy this one. I think
it's good...
1 Comments, 23 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
|
|
whats the difference between red and purple ...... ??? 7/19/2019
................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
0 Comments, 10 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
|
|
points 7/18/2019
points points points points points points points.
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Work joke 7/18/2019
My boss said good morning and to have a great day today. So
after that, I went home.
0 Comments, 17 Views,
9 Votes
,2.14 Score
|
|
points 7/16/2019
points points points points points points
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
How to get the most points. 7/14/2019
Just curious if there is a better way get points when you
need them?
3 Comments, 17 Views,
12 Votes
,3.51 Score
|
|
Dad Jokes Pt. 2 7/12/2019
If a refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty
of resisting a rest?
1 Comments, 10 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score
|
|
Dad Jokes Anyone? 7/12/2019
Today, my asked "Can I have a book mark?"
and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't
know my name is Brian.
1 Comments, 15 Views,
9 Votes
,3.85 Score
|
|
hahaha 7/9/2019
hahaha jumble jumble no sense laugh nonsense is not so
funny
0 Comments, 11 Views,
10 Votes
,0.60 Score
|
|
Sunday Morning Sex 7/6/2019
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed
away, Katie went straight her grandparent’s house
visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother
replied, “He had a heart attack while we were making love
on Sunday morning.” <br><br>
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people
nearly 100 years ...
1 Comments, 57 Views,
13 Votes
,4.15 Score
|
|
A coincidence 7/6/2019
A chicken farmer went the local bar. He sat next a woman
and ordered champagne. <br><br>
The woman said: "How strange, I also just ordered a glass of champagne".
<br><br>
"What a coincidence ", said the farmer, who
added, "It is a special for . I am celebrating...."
<br><br>
"It is a special for , too, I am ...
1 Comments, 47 Views,
11 Votes
,3.73 Score
|
|
points 7/2/2019
need more points all of the points.
1 Comments, 10 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score
|
|
Lem 6/28/2019
One Lem and his Pa was mending fence off in the back forty
when all of a sudden Lem heard moaning and groaning and spotted
two people in the throws of passion, Pa! Whats them people
doing? Ah, Lem they is just fucking. Pa? Whats fucking?
How old are you Lem? Well near 18 year old Pa, you
know that. Yer all that old and you don't know what fucking
is? You best come to the house with me... ...
0 Comments, 49 Views,
8 Votes
,1.62 Score
|
|
hey... knock knock 6/28/2019
.. <br><br>
who? <br><br>
, i didn't know you were a cowgirl... <br><br>
giddy up !
0 Comments, 9 Views,
5 Votes
,1.19 Score
|
|
a joke for your considertion 6/28/2019
Jesus Christ walks into motel. He hands the guy behind the
counter 3 large nails and says, "Can ya put for the
night?" <br><br>
Hahahahaha gotta love that Jesus! What a character...
...
0 Comments, 15 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
|
|
oh ms Jamaica 6/28/2019
A ’s most important Organ supposedly as described
by some of the most beautiful women of the world at the Miss
Universe Contest. <br><br>
INDIA <br><br>
Question: Ms India, how do you describe a Organ in your
country? <br><br>
Ms India: Well, I can say that Organs in India are like
labourers. <br><br>
Question: How can you say so? ...
2 Comments, 42 Views,
10 Votes
,2.79 Score
|
|
friday 6/28/2019
Ok who has a good one to get the day going? lets have it!!!
0 Comments, 3 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
|
|
funny shit 6/28/2019
what's 12" long, hard, and makes a woman scream
in the morning?? <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
....S.I.D.S. <br><br>
<br><br>
LOL
0 Comments, 19 Views,
5 Votes
,1.19 Score
|
|
Funny 2.0 6/27/2019
When I was a baby I was so ugly my mother never breastfed me
she said she only like me as a friend
0 Comments, 8 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
|
|
A funny 6/27/2019
Did you know that if you kick the crap out of a Texan the only
thing that would be left is a pair of boots
0 Comments, 4 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
|
|
poin ts 6/27/2019
points points points points points points
1 Comments, 4 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
|
|
points 6/27/2019
points points points points points points
0 Comments, 2 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
|
|
Gross joke 6/23/2019
What's the difference between a faggot and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull your meat .
0 Comments, 2 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
|
|
Guess what? 6/23/2019
Chicken butt <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
help I need the points
0 Comments, 5 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
|
|
points 6/22/2019
points
0 Comments, 4 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
|
|
Points 6/22/2019
Just here for the points.
0 Comments, 6 Views,
4 Votes
,1.30 Score
|
|
Points 6/22/2019
Just here for the points.
1 Comments, 5 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
|
|
Friday 6/19/2019
White guy, Mexican , and Black guy walk into a bar
0 Comments, 27 Views,
4 Votes
,0.92 Score
|
|
Being Brave 6/19/2019
A man breaks into a house to for and guns. Inside,
he finds a in bed. He orders the guy of the bed and
ties him a chair. While tying the home owner’s wife
the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck;
then gets up & goes into the bathroom. <br><br>
While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his
wife: “Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. at ...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
|
|
funny! 6/19/2019
if a blind person says you have a big penis they're probably
pulling your leg!!!
1 Comments, 4 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
|
|
come chat with me 6/19/2019
I ggot all kinds of joke.. people love when im around. im
the laugh of the party
1 Comments, 7 Views,
3 Votes
|
|
Knock knock 6/17/2019
Who’s there Boo Boo who Stop crying
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Knock Knock 6/16/2019
Whos there
2 Comments, 13 Views,
6 Votes
,0.80 Score
|
|
Friday 6/16/2019
Dam smokey its Friday and you aint got no job
1 Comments, 12 Views,
6 Votes
,0.52 Score
|
|
What about that.. 6/16/2019
A buddy ask me the something day... He said if me and your wife had sex <br><br>
And I got her pregnant would that make us kin...haha <br><br>
I said nope... <br><br>
He said what would it make us??? <br><br>
I said Even !!
0 Comments, 18 Views,
6 Votes
,1.94 Score
|
|
sat fun 6/15/2019
my over weight parrot died today, it is sad but a huge weight
off of my shoulder.
1 Comments, 4 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
|
|
Dick touch your asshole 6/13/2019
A young boy was sitting on his gradfathers lap. His grandfather
was puffing on a cigar. The little boy asks, "Grandpa,
may i please try a puff of your cigar?" His grandfather
replied, "well , does your dick touch your asshole?"
The little boy replied with no. So his grandfather said,
"Well then, no you may not." A couple of weeks
later the boy was sitting on his ...
0 Comments, 47 Views,
10 Votes
,1.99 Score
|
|
This IM System 6/7/2019
That is it.
1 Comments, 12 Views,
7 Votes
,1.51 Score
|
|
What did the penis say to the vagina? 6/6/2019
Cover , going in!
2 Comments, 19 Views,
11 Votes
,1.67 Score
|
|
What happend to the jokes? 6/6/2019
Jokes used to be amazing but seems like in our day of tech
and social media it has died.
3 Comments, 21 Views,
12 Votes
,2.80 Score
|
|
Larger breasts please 6/5/2019
A woman asked her Dr. about breast enhancement. She claimed
that when she was younger men seemed to prefer women w/ smaller
breasts, but today's man prefers larger breasts.
Is there anything you can do? Why sure the Dr. replied. there
are implants for that purpose. A simple surgery and you're
now carrying larger breasts. NO! no surgery there must
be another way, something other than ...
2 Comments, 70 Views,
10 Votes
,2.79 Score
|
|
Sorry posting for points 6/5/2019
posting for points please ignore
0 Comments, 4 Views,
4 Votes
,0.92 Score
|
|
Johnny and the Principal 6/3/2019
Johnny got sent to the principal's office by his teacher.
<br><br>
<br><br>
"Johnny, " the principal asked, "what
did you do this time?" <br><br>
"All I did was tell Bobby that Mrs Johnson has a great
ass, " Johnny replied. <br><br>
The principal frowned. "Johnny, you can't say
things like that about a ...
1 Comments, 60 Views,
6 Votes
,2.51 Score
|
|
Morning Wood 6/2/2019
John woke up one morning immensely aroused so he turned
over to his wife’s side of the bed. His wife, Heather,
had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing
breakfast in the kitchen. <br><br>
Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, John called
his little into he room and asked him to take this note
to your beautiful mommy. The note read: ...
4 Comments, 58 Views,
8 Votes
,2.32 Score
|
|
What kinksters say and what vanillas hear 5/31/2019
What kinksters say: "Are you kinky?" What vanillas hear: "Do you like anal?" <br><br>
What kinksters say: "I polyamorous" What vanillas hear: "I just haven't met the right person yet."
<br><br>
What kinksters say: "I am bi-sexual" What vanillas hear: "I am gay, I just don't want to admit it" ...
3 Comments, 48 Views,
15 Votes
,1.91 Score
|
|
Flakes and Points 5/30/2019
Rule #87 watch out for flakes <br><br>
I swear this site keeps taking points away eliminating
chances to start conversations. This site is 100% built
to trick you into buying points...no thanks.
3 Comments, 16 Views,
11 Votes
,2.23 Score
|
|
Knock knock 5/27/2019
Who’s there?
4 Comments, 43 Views,
14 Votes
,0.58 Score
|
|
This Damn Sites IM 5/26/2019
can never messsage someone straight up
1 Comments, 14 Views,
11 Votes
,1.86 Score
|
|
:) 5/25/2019
He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever
since he was a . He loved to make the train go as fast
as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too
reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single
person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over
this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to
death by electrocution. When the day of the execution ...
0 Comments, 59 Views,
8 Votes
,2.32 Score
|
|
;) 5/25/2019
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and
holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank
vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I
don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm
samples. <br><br>
The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples ...
1 Comments, 59 Views,
15 Votes
,2.06 Score
|
|
Monday pic me up 5/20/2019
I met a guy with 5 dicks and I asked him how his pants fit, he
said like a glove!! <br><br>
<br><br>
best I got
1 Comments, 8 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
|
|
Monday pic me up 5/20/2019
I met a guy with 5 dicks and I asked him how his pants fit, he
said like a glove!! <br><br>
<br><br>
best I got
0 Comments, 2 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
|
|
I need more time 5/17/2019
How can I make time more?
How can I make time more?
How can I make time more?
How can I make time more?
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
joke 5/17/2019
whats white and red and black all over...whatever you want
it to be
1 Comments, 25 Views,
15 Votes
|
|
Two Irish Nuns 5/16/2019
Two Irish Nuns visit New York City for the first time. Walking
through Times Square, they see a street vendor with a sign
" DOGS". <br><br>
"Look , sister, " says one of the nuns.
"They eat here in America." <br><br>
"We must try it, " says the other nun, "to
experience what it's like to be here in America." ...
3 Comments, 89 Views,
25 Votes
,2.14 Score
|
|
joke 5/16/2019
this damn sites messenger
1 Comments, 9 Views,
7 Votes
,1.51 Score
|
|
Knock Knock 5/12/2019
What up, <br><br>
My cock. <br><br>
8========D~~ (. )( .)
2 Comments, 26 Views,
17 Votes
,0.44 Score
|
|
What are your favourite sex related jokes? 5/12/2019
Would love to hear them
0 Comments, 25 Views,
19 Votes
,0.62 Score
|
|
More Puns 5/11/2019
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons.
The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry,
sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.' <br><br>
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other
and says 'Dam!' <br><br>
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit
a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it ...
1 Comments, 51 Views,
21 Votes
,2.51 Score
|
|
Puns 5/11/2019
1.The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table
was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
<br><br>
2.I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but
it turned out to be an optical Aleutian . <br><br>
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. <br><br>
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, ...
2 Comments, 43 Views,
15 Votes
,3.13 Score
|
|
Knock Knock 5/10/2019
Whose there ?
0 Comments, 21 Views,
10 Votes
,1.00 Score
|
|
The IRS joke! 5/8/2019
Mr Johnson got a notice from the IRS he might be audited,
and he should show the local IRS office next Monday morning 10. So, he called his attorney, and the two of them showed the IRS office 10, right on time. <br><br>
"Mr Johnson, " the IRS agent said, we have some
questions about some of your financial activities. into my office so we can discuss them." ...
1 Comments, 63 Views,
12 Votes
,3.15 Score
|
|
Leverage 5/8/2019
Yep, it happened again. I woke up this morning with a piss
hard on. Walked into the bathroom, pushed down to piss,
and my feet came off of the ground.
0 Comments, 24 Views,
10 Votes
,1.99 Score
|
|
Who's got jokes? 5/4/2019
Lets here em
0 Comments, 3 Views,
2 Votes
|
|
Irishman 5/4/2019
A backpacker is traveling through Ireland when it starts
to rain. He decides to wait out the storm in a nearby pub.
The only other person at the bar is an older man staring at
his drink. After a few moments of silence the man turns to
the backpacker and says in a thick Irish accent: <br><br>
"You see this bar? I built this bar with my own bare
hands. I cut down every tree and ...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score
|
|
Sex Life After Marriage 5/3/2019
It’s true when they say your sex life changes after you
get married, because now you are sleeping with a relative!!!
0 Comments, 26 Views,
13 Votes
,1.80 Score
|
|
So there I was 5/3/2019
So, there I was..... Balls deep; and my sister stops, turns and says "Wow,
you know what? You are as big as Dad!" I was surprised, and replied "You know, that's
the same thing Mom said."
2 Comments, 29 Views,
13 Votes
,3.14 Score
|
|
Back from Iraq 5/3/2019
A buddy of mine got back from Iraq, third tour as a marine.
They really do use camels as the main means of transportation.
They have to take a camel driving test, they give on mon., wed.
and fri. They have sex education on tues, and thurs. <br><br>
<br><br>
I ask him why and he said they don't want to wear the camel
out!!!
3 Comments, 43 Views,
14 Votes
,2.98 Score
|
|
A Blonde Husband 5/3/2019
women were having lunch together, and discussing the
merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, "I
need to be honest with you, getting a boob job."
<br><br>
The second woman says "Oh that's nothing,
thinking of having my asshole bleached!" <br><br>
To which the first replies, "Whoa, I just can't
picture your husband as a ...
1 Comments, 47 Views,
11 Votes
,2.61 Score
|
|
Testicles 5/2/2019
An American woman is in the produce department the local
supermarket searching for the best looking russet potatoes
she can find to bake in the oven for supper night. She
comes across a potato so large, she has to use both hands
to pick it . Just then a Middle Eastern woman sees it and
says; "Oh my, potato reminds of my husband's
testicles!" "Are his testicles this ...
1 Comments, 18 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
|
|
Mosquito 5/2/2019
What's the difference between a and a mosquito?
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
A mosquito stops sucking after you smack it!
1 Comments, 4 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
|
|
Mosquito 5/2/2019
What's the difference between a and a mosquito?
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
A mosquito stops sucking after you smack it!
0 Comments, 1 Views,
1 Votes
|
|
thursday fun 5/2/2019
any one got one I'm out of good ones?
0 Comments, 4 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
|
|
thursday fun 5/2/2019
any one got one I'm out of good ones?
0 Comments, 7 Views,
5 Votes
,0.21 Score
|
|
little Sally 5/1/2019
Little sally came home from school and told her mother
Frankie Robinson was showing his penis while on the playground.
Mother tried to respond but before she could little Sally
said, it reminded of a peanut. Mother said, you mean it was tiny? No said little Sally, it was salty
0 Comments, 39 Views,
12 Votes
,2.62 Score
|
|
Starts with an F ... 4/29/2019
What starts with an F, ends with a CK and involves shooting
foamy stuff? <br><br>
Scroll down for the answer <br><br>
: <br><br>
: <br><br>
: <br><br>
: <br><br>
: <br><br>
: <br><br>
: <br><br>
: <br><br>
: <br><br>
: <br><br>
: <br><br>
: ...
0 Comments, 50 Views,
16 Votes
,2.98 Score
|
|
to people who are fake on here 4/27/2019
^^^^^^^^^^^
0 Comments, 13 Views,
8 Votes
,0.93 Score
|
|
Corny 4/27/2019
What did Sushi "A" say to Sushi "B"?
<br><br>
Wasabi!
0 Comments, 13 Views,
9 Votes
,1.50 Score
|
|
Corny 4/27/2019
What did Sushi "A" say to Sushi "B"?
<br><br>
Wasabi!
1 Comments, 9 Views,
5 Votes
,1.51 Score
|
|
friday fun 4/26/2019
what do you a group of Minnesotan gangsters? <br><br>
Oh geez!
0 Comments, 0 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
Points 4/26/2019
All everyone is worried about
0 Comments, 14 Views,
6 Votes
,1.09 Score
|
|
Sight? 4/24/2019
"I see", said the blind carpenter, as he picked
his hammer and saw.
1 Comments, 21 Views,
6 Votes
,1.94 Score
|
|
Pharmacy 4/23/2019
A woman walks into a pharmacy. She marches over directly
to the pharmacist without looking another soul. "I want some cyanide to kill my husband! ", she
demands. Shocked to his very core, the pharmacist replies, "Lady are you insane? I can't sell you cyanide,
and especially not when you exclaimed you want to use
it to kill your husband. We'll both end in death ...
0 Comments, 10 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
|
|
Checking out the bar 4/23/2019
A guy is on a business trip. He sees a bar across the street
from his hotel. Entering the bar, he sees a sign on the wall.
It reads: Cheese sandwich $2.50; Ham sandwich $4.50; Hand
Job $10. <br><br>
Behind the bar are three beautiful women. He motions for
one to over. <br><br>
"Sweetie, " he says, "are you one of the
women who gives hand jobs?" ...
3 Comments, 68 Views,
9 Votes
,2.57 Score
|
|
Sucking gorilla 4/22/2019
A guy walks into a bar, sees nobody else but the bartender
and asks for a beer. One hour of conversation and five beers
later, the bartender asks the guy, "Do you want to
see something out of the ordinary? " "Sure!", the guy responded. The bartender proceeds to open a closet door. Out jumps
a huge gorilla. The bartender grabs a bat and cracks the
gorilla right between the ...
0 Comments, 10 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
|
|
another 4/20/2019
what do you call a constipated detective? <br><br>
no shit sherlock!
1 Comments, 4 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
|
|
Saturday fun 4/20/2019
I just picked up a new book, "the history of lubricants",
its non friction
2 Comments, 9 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
|
|
Chinese Medicine 4/19/2019
While in China, an American man is sexually promiscuous
and does not use a condom the entire time he is there. <br><br>
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one
morning to find his penis covered with bright green and
purple spots. <br><br>
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. <br><br>
The doctor, never having seen anything like ...
2 Comments, 71 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
|
|
friday fun 4/19/2019
so if you get shot with a starter pistol is it considered
a real related shooting?
0 Comments, 7 Views,
1 Votes
|
|
Smoking 4/14/2019
What do you do if your wife starts smoking? <br><br>
Slow down and possibly use some lubricant
0 Comments, 14 Views,
8 Votes
,1.86 Score
|
|
why did the tomato blush? 4/13/2019
It blushed because it saw the salad dressing.
0 Comments, 10 Views,
7 Votes
,1.00 Score
|
|
funny? 4/2/2019
the only thing a flat farther fears is shear itself
0 Comments, 1 Views,
1 Votes
|
|
The joke of the day 4/1/2019
A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't
paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three
ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are
left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher
asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the
shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No,
two, but I like how you're thinking." ...
1 Comments, 49 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score
|
|
funny or not 4/1/2019
If a cow does not produce milk it is an utter disaster and
a milk dud!
0 Comments, 1 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
|
|
funny or not 4/1/2019
my three favorite things are eating family and not using
commas.
0 Comments, 1 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
|
|
You know what's sad? 3/26/2019
My love life <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> KAREN ...
0 Comments, 17 Views,
6 Votes
,0.23 Score
|
|
Out Dancing 3/26/2019
I went out dancing last night... They played The Twist...I twisted... They played Jump...I jumped... They played Come On Eileen...I got kicked out for that.
3 Comments, 26 Views,
9 Votes
,3.43 Score
|
|
The Bus Stop 3/26/2019
A crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman
wearing a tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus. As the
bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware
that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to
the height of the first step of the bus. <br><br>
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver,
she reached behind her to unzip her ...
2 Comments, 78 Views,
12 Votes
,4.39 Score
|
|
I wonder 3/25/2019
A recent questionnaire to high school girls , 97 percent
admitted they had kissed/made out. Only 3 percent lied
about it.
1 Comments, 17 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
|
|
I wonder 3/25/2019
A recent questionnaire to high school girls , 97 percent
admitted they had kissed/made out. Only 3 percent lied
about it.
1 Comments, 12 Views,
6 Votes
,1.66 Score
|
|
I wonder 3/25/2019
A recent questionnaire to high school girls , 97 percent
admitted they had kissed/made out. Only 3 percent lied
about it.
0 Comments, 2 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
|
|
Scotish Obituary 3/23/2019
A Scottish woman goes to the local newspaper office to see
that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is
published. <br><br>
The obit editor informs her that there is a charge of 50 cents
per word. <br><br>
She pauses, reflects, and then she says, "Well, then,
let it read, 'Angus MacPherson died'."
<br><br>
Amused at the woman's ...
2 Comments, 71 Views,
9 Votes
,4.28 Score
|
|
That's a Lawyer 3/23/2019
As the lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are
all the blinds drawn?" <br><br>
The nurse answered, "There's a fire across the
street, and we didn't want you to think you had died."
2 Comments, 29 Views,
9 Votes
,3.64 Score
|
|
Points :P 3/21/2019
Points for points for points for points
0 Comments, 5 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
|
|
For a laugh 3/20/2019
A little boy was taking a shower with his mom. The boy pointed
at her chest and asked “what are those”? The mother
was shocked and didn’t have any words except for the boy
to ask his father. The boy asked his father what those two
humps were on mommy’s chest. The father laughed and said
“those are balloons and when mommy dies, they get blown
up and carry her soul to heaven”. ...
1 Comments, 68 Views,
9 Votes
,4.71 Score
|
|
points 3/20/2019
points points points points points points points
0 Comments, 2 Views,
1 Votes
|
|
Alien Wife swap 3/20/2019
A Martian couple and an Earthling couple have met and are
talking about all sorts of things. Finally, the subject
of sex comes up. "Just how do you guys do it?"
asked the Earthling. "Pretty much the way you do, "
responded the Martian. Discussion ensues and finally
the couples decide swap partners for the night and experience
one another. The female Earthling and the male ...
3 Comments, 53 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
|
|
Texas Lawyer 3/18/2019
No Offense to Texans, Lawyers, Judges, Grandparents,
or anyone else. <br><br>
Lawyers should never ask a Texas grandma a question if they
aren’t prepared for the answer. <br><br>
In a trial, a Texas small-town prosecuting attorney called
his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the
stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you
know me?’ ...
0 Comments, 52 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score
|
|
Don't try this lol 3/18/2019
A guy walks up to a beautiful young lady sitting a bar and
says, "Lady, I'll bet you $20 that I can touch
your breasts without touching your shirt." <br><br>
Intrigued, the woman buttons up her shirt all the way and
says, "Okay, you're on." <br><br>
The man steps up, cups his hands under her breasts, and gives
them a firm squeeze. ...
0 Comments, 67 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
|
|
A couple more dirty jokes 3/17/2019
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball. <br><br>
What does the sign on an -of-business brothel say? Beat it. We’re closed. <br><br>
<br><br>
Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a . <br><br>
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Goodyear. ...
0 Comments, 13 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
Ok.....last one tonight..... 3/16/2019
This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine. The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, ”Doctor,
I haven’t had sex for years now and I was wondering how
I can increase my husband’s sex drive.” The doctor smiled and said, ”Have you tried to give him
Viagra?” The lady frowned. ”Doctor, I can’t even get him to take
aspirin when he has a ...
0 Comments, 41 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
|
|
Funny thing..... 3/16/2019
The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked
if the priest would hear his confession. "Of course,
my , " said the priest. "Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two,
a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide
her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never
found her." "That's a wonderful thing, my , and nothing
that you ...
0 Comments, 29 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score
|
|
Best joke today 3/16/2019
A nerdy, 100 lbs weakling walks into a weightlifting gym
and states he wants to become a body builder. So, the gym's
trainer is walking him through all the exercise machines
explaining which machine builds which specific muscle.
<br><br>
After about a half hour, a super-hot chic walks by, breaking
everyone's attention. The nerdy, 100 lbs weakling inquires, "which ...
1 Comments, 45 Views,
6 Votes
,4.22 Score
|
|
THIS IS FOR THE OLDER GENERATIONS! 3/16/2019
A man rushed home and went into the kitchen. His wife was
cooking dinner. He put his arms around her and whispered
in her ear “Lets go into the bedroom”. <br><br>
She pushed him away and said, “I’m cooking dinner!”
<br><br>
“It’ll just take a minute, ” he replied. She agrees
and they head to the bedroom. <br><br>
“Take off your slacks and ...
0 Comments, 51 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
|
|
RAMBLINGS OF A SOCIOPATH... 3/14/2019
Don’t take this shit too seriously, it’s only for a
laugh... <br><br>
Weight a minute... Who said Vega didn’t like curvaceous
females?! Ladies, if you’ve got a few extra pounds; I
could definitely use you as I’ve got 0% body fat 😉 <br><br>
Attractive women are always the most insecure, while these
Shrek looking females, walk around thinking they're
the ...
0 Comments, 26 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
|
|
Work with mostly men 3/12/2019
A 12 year old girl woke upon a Saturday morning with nothing
to do. Living in a very small town she grabbed a Twinkie for
breakfast on the go and headed for to main street to checkout
the action. Her first stop was the barbershop. She chatted away with
the barber and wandered around the shop. Finally the barber
pointed out that she was getting hair all over her Twinkie.
" I know" she ...
0 Comments, 70 Views,
12 Votes
,1.03 Score
|
|
You know what's a good joke? 3/11/2019
The IM system. Boy howdy am I original
0 Comments, 2 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
|
|
The points.... 3/9/2019
That's the true joke of this site. 2nd to the IM that
never works
4 Comments, 16 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
|
|
What? 3/6/2019
How many puppies does it take to land a plane on a Saturday?
<br><br>
All of them
1 Comments, 30 Views,
12 Votes
,1.56 Score
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Knock knock 3/5/2019
just kidding this is just for points...no one would laugh
anyways.
0 Comments, 6 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
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Emotional sex 3/2/2019
For the past six years me and a good friend started having
weekly phone conversations. It got to where we knew every
dirty seceret about eachother. Well in our conversation
last week he confided that he always cries before during
and after sex. I didnt know what to say. I mean i have sex for
the sheer pleasure of it. Well beteeen that and my sarcasm
i blurted damn dude i hate to hear that you ...
1 Comments, 58 Views,
9 Votes
,1.93 Score
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