Sort by

Date

• Date
• Comments
• Views
• Votes
• Score

Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	THE OUTBACK TOILET   9/24/2013 An old salty Sailor who had lost both legs in different nautical accidents was managing quite well on two wooden legs until one day in his travels around Australia he found himself in a outback Pub. Came the time he had to go to the toilet for a number two and asked the barman where it was. The barman warned him, that it was quite primitive and that it was just a plank over a hole in the ... 0 Comments, 85 Views, 2 Votes ,5.20 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	SHOPPING AROUND   9/24/2013 A store owner hires a young woman who loves mini-skirts. A young man walks in, glances at her, and spots some raisin bread on the top shelf. "Some raisin bread, please." The man says. She climbs a ladder to reach the bread, and the man looks up her skirt, admiring the view. By the time she 's back on the ground, there's a line of men behind the first young man. Each one asks for ... 0 Comments, 82 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	WHERE FROM???????   9/22/2013 A hillbilly went hunting one day in West Virginia and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home where he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn’t like hillbillies. The game warden ordered to the hillbilly to show his hunting license, and the hillbilly pulled out a valid West Virginia hunting license. The game warden looked at the ... 0 Comments, 107 Views, 4 Votes ,5.57 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	SHE WAS ONLY PART 3   9/20/2013 She was only a fisherman's , but she smelled like her father's catch. She was only an locomotive engineer's , but she loved to pull a train every Saturday night. She was only a woodworker's , but she loved getting nailed. She was only a dentist's , but she loved getting drilled & filled.... 0 Comments, 71 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	SHE WAS ONLY PART 2   9/20/2013 She was only a moon-shiner's , but I loved her still. A stockbroker's , but everyone got their share. a cabinet maker's , but everyone knew what's in her drawers. She was only a carpenter's , but boy! could she take a good screw! She was only a bicyclist's , but she let everyone have a ride! She was only a ... 0 Comments, 46 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	SHE WAS ONLY   9/20/2013 A Road-maker's , but she always liked her Asphalt. A Cricketer's , but she could always take a Full-toss in the Crease. A Band-leader's , but she always hummed in Ragtime. A Signalers , but she 'Di-dit' because her 'Da-Da di-dit'. A Stable Hand's , but all the Manure.... 0 Comments, 52 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	TOILET   9/20/2013 So little Johnny (four years old) is out shopping with his Mom and Grandma. He says to Mom, "I have to go the toilet." Mom. "I'll take you." Johnny. "No, I want Grandma to take me." Mom. "Why can't I take you?" Johnny."Because Grandma's hand shakes."... 1 Comments, 111 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	GIRAFFE   9/20/2013 Two old spinster Maids were visiting their local zoo. As they approached the Giraffe enclosure one noticed that one of the giraffes was standing close to the barrier. She commented to her companion that she could reach through and pet the animal. Instead of patting the animal she reached through and squeezed one of it's testicles. As to be expected the animal jumped. It jumped high ... 0 Comments, 101 Views, 4 Votes ,4.80 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	PANCAKES   9/20/2013 Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis. After examining the , the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.' The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, ... 0 Comments, 99 Views, 4 Votes ,5.57 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	The Hypnotist at a Senior Citizen's Center   9/19/2013 It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' center. After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show- Claude the Hypnotist! Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance. "Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time." said Claude. The excited chatter dropped to silence ... 2 Comments, 134 Views, 8 Votes ,5.56 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	The Indian With One Testicle.   9/18/2013 There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, ' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!' The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue ... 0 Comments, 112 Views, 4 Votes ,4.80 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	A PRAYER FOR LEROY   9/17/2013 In a Detroit church one Sunday morning, a preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs" who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar." With that, Leroy got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?" Leroy replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." The ... 0 Comments, 106 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	PUNS   9/17/2013 I tried to catch some Fog. I mist. When chemists die, they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I stayed up all night to see where the sun ... 0 Comments, 48 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	CHOICES   9/17/2013 If your wife or girlfriend ever asks, "If I were to arrange a three way for your birthday, which of my friends would you choose?" NEVER give her two names!!!... 0 Comments, 71 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	FROG   9/17/2013 A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa's room .... "Grandpa, Grandpa, " she says excitedly, "As soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!" "What?" said her Grandpa. "Please, please, please make a noise like a ... 1 Comments, 110 Views, 4 Votes ,4.80 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	SPEEDING   9/17/2013 One Sunday, sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five little old Indian ladies - two in the front seat and three in ... 0 Comments, 100 Views, 3 Votes ,5.39 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	GYM TODAY....   9/17/2013 Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Could only use it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick, It's great though. It provides me with everything I need - KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Crisps, the lot.."... 0 Comments, 51 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	I Love You Message   9/17/2013 There was a group of women at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, “How many of you love your husbands?” All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?” Some women answered today .... some yesterday .... some didn’t remember. The women ... 0 Comments, 92 Views, 5 Votes ,3.80 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	The Polish pickle factory   9/17/2013 Yossel worked in a Polish pickle factory. For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist. After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Yossel to go ahead and do it or he would probably never have any peace of mind. The next day Yossel came home from work very early. His ... 0 Comments, 66 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
rm_Fuckem1235 40 M 4  Articles	laugh out loud   9/17/2013 does size matters I don't know? 0 Comments, 45 Views, 1 Votes
rm_Fuckem1235 40 M 4  Articles	laugh out loud   9/17/2013 does size matters I don't know? 0 Comments, 12 Views, 0 Votes
rm_Fuckem1235 40 M 4  Articles	laugh out loud   9/17/2013 does size matters I don't know? 0 Comments, 8 Views, 0 Votes
rm_Fuckem1235 40 M 4  Articles	laugh out loud   9/17/2013 does size matters I don't know? 0 Comments, 14 Views, 0 Votes
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	GREAT TASTE   9/16/2013 An old guy walks into a bar and asks for a bottle of forty-year old Scotch. The bartender, not wanting to give up the good liquor, pours a shot of ten-year Scotch and figures that the guy won't be able to tell the difference. The guy downs the Scotch and says: "This Scotch is only ten years old! I specifically asked for forty-year old Scotch." Amazed, the bartender reaches into a locked ... 0 Comments, 96 Views, 4 Votes ,5.57 Score
CaptainDilfCT 40 M 1  Article	amusing 's song   9/15/2013 Not so much a joke, but something amusing. Any of you who have probably have heard of the tv show Barney and Friends. You would also so the main song that always play at the end. Here is my version. I love booze, booze loves me Holy shit I have to pee I'm so smashed I'm falling on the floor Alcoholic dinosaur! While reading this, picture one of those stuffed Barney dolls lying ... 0 Comments, 54 Views, 1 Votes
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	MISCOMMUNICATION   9/15/2013 The mother-in-law dropped in after shopping to find her -in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase. "What happened?" she asked anxiously. "What happened? I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife --- your --- telling her I was coming home a day early from my fishing trip. I got home ...and guess what I found? Your , Jean, in bed with a naked guy! ... 0 Comments, 126 Views, 2 Votes ,5.20 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	CHOICE   9/14/2013 Last night a complete stranger asked me if I liked breasts or thighs, I told him that I preferred a hot, wet, pussy. Apparently that wasn’t an option with the KFC Bargain Bucket.... 1 Comments, 51 Views, 4 Votes ,4.41 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	Drill Instructor   9/13/2013 A former Sergeant in the Marine Corps, who had been a Drill Instructor, took a new job as a high school teacher. Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body, but fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest ... 0 Comments, 118 Views, 2 Votes ,5.20 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	LOOK GOOD   9/12/2013 How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it.... 0 Comments, 33 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	BIG FIRE   9/12/2013 How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? His hand caught fire.... 0 Comments, 28 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score